The People's Cube - Political Satire

Most Equally Esteemed Komrads,

Has there ever been as perfect a headline as this?

SHOVELS FLY AT SIBERIA'S ANNUAL SPEED GRAVE-DIGGING CONTEST

I marvel at the genius of the Prog that put Siberia and grave digging together and turned it into a sporting event. How long until grave digging is an Olympic event? I was especially delighted to learn that the purpose of the event is to get young Komrads interested in the ever expanding field of grave digging. Of course, soon enough the "choice" thing will not exist and young Komrads will become whatever the Party dictates to them.

Happy there is a Sporting Current Truth™,

Red Salmon

I see it's on the "summer-sports" list.

for REAL competition, lets see this in February...

Most Equally Esteemed Komrad Ivan the Stakhanovets,

I'm certain this "sport" will evolve. Soon the competition will be around the clock all year long. I bet the "prize" regresses from cash (spit spit) to a former state of this "sport". The prize for digging a grave the fastest is that you aren't the one to go in it AND you then get to proceed to the next round. It will be sort of an elimination round every round.

Remember to bring a sturdy shovel to the rail yard just in case you are selected to participate in this elite sport!

Nostalgically cozy in The Current Truth ™,

Red Salmon

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote:... for REAL competition, lets see this in February...

... plus (per grave) a finalization commissar with a two-shot Nagant M1895, no?

Will there be different categories of competition, e.g., single, double, and mass graves?

According to Kolyma Stories by Varlam Shalamov, the diesel earth mover machines are only fired up to bury the bodies of useless shovel diggers no longer able to shovel their assigned trench distance.

Do these record breaking grave digging teams know that their record grave digging timings are setting a 'normal' quota to be increased for the record?

Seems to me that this gives new meaning to "shovel ready"...

trashmouth wrote:Seems to me that this gives new meaning to "shovel ready"...

Comrade mouth. You know the drill. You should have your bag packed already and report to the platform.- SK

Is the competition open to non binary gender fluid people of the LGBTQXVZK#'! community? And to digging machines identifying as humans?

I do hope our comrades in the Motherland don't fuss over "prior males" competing on the Womxn's teams... someone has to move the heavy rocks.