12/2/2021, 6:28 pm
In yesterday's news conference, Jen Psaki told reporters that "not even being a cadaver will stop the president from running in 2024." White House press secretary continued, "If the dead can vote Democrat, why can't they also run for office and govern from the beyond? It would only be a logical next step in strengthening our democracy."
"Just like not baking the Thanksgiving turkey will save Americans untold amounts of money," she explained, "the government can save millions by no longer needing security details or even the Secret Service for a president who is no more."
Jen Psaki further outlined the strategy of defunding the Secret Service along with the nation's law enforcement and military, and investing all that previously wasted money into putting everyone on welfare. "There will be even enough left to pay for free college tuition of anyone who signs up for transgender and white supremacists studies," Psaki said. "Тhe rest won't need any education, for in the future the only available jobs will be in sexual fluidity."
"But teachers shouldn't worry about losing their jobs," she continued. "If they still want to work, which is a silly thing to do under the circumstances, they can always teach one another."
"The future is bright, so the Americans needn't worry," Psaki assured the reporters. "Joe is not worried about their future either, before or after he 'Builds it Back Sometime' from the beyond. My job would be so much easier if the rest of you would try and be more like him."