The People's Cube - Political Satire

This past weekend, Sen. Richard Blumenthal appeared at an awards ceremony for an affiliate of the Communist Party USA. The Washington Free Beacon reports:

Blumenthal, one of the wealthiest members of the Senate, presented certificates of special recognition from the Senate to three winners of the "Amistad Award," given annually by the Connecticut People's World Committee, an affiliate of the Communist Party USA and the Marxist People's World news site.

First of all, you may be concerned that one of the Senate's wealthiest members is presenting for a group affiliated with the Communist Party USA. This is not at all ironic, and I will explain why.

There is nothing that says "we're all the same" more than some people being more equal than others, and some people being far more wealthy than others. That's just life, and life is not fair... (Wait, I thought this was a Communist Party USA-affiliated event? I might be in the wrong place.)

In any case, the ceremony was also used as a Party recruitment event. We at The People's Cube propose distributing korrected awards, to be more Inclusive and attract more Diverse members. A rich, old white guy passing out merit awards for a group affiliated with the Communist Party USA has become Problematic. Frankly, it's embarrassing. We need to Do Better.

Let's review the current definition of the word "Equity": "the quality of being fair or impartial."

The very act of conducting an awards ceremony is not fair or impartial. Some individuals are recognized, while others are not (unfair). Award eligibility depends on an individual's merits (partial.) Therefore, the Communist Party USA-affiliate's Awards Ceremony must be categorized as a display of vast inequity.

Equity is our Party's most important defining characteristic (until we change it again.) We cannot support any activities which do not exalt Equity. Enforcing Equity, by turning in our loved ones for assumed inequitable slights, is the most important role of our lifetimes.

We at The People's Cube have a big problem with the term "special recognition" as awarded to individuals. In order to keep the Party in line, there will be a New, Diverse, Equitable and Inclusive awards ceremony: No more individual, merit-based awards!

Everyone will receive a same-on-all-sides People's Red Cube for their efforts, or lack thereof. If you work harder for the Party than someone else, your award is still the same as theirs. And this should make you feel great! Some undedicated Party members will receive many People's Red Cubes, and will reflect proudly on their lack of service.

True - you're bringing yourself down, while others are not expected to put in as much effort. This is actually not demoralizing at all, but invigorating. Your personal sacrifice for greater Equity is the most important human characteristic of all. You are ensuring a more humane world. (How, you ask? Let me check with the Party and get back to you on that. But you should probably not ask anymore questions.)

A Very Important Note on Compliance: If you see someone believed to be a high-level, Party-affiliate in perceived noncompliance with our Equity efforts, do not attempt to speak out. Let us take care of it. There have been complaints that Sen. Blumenthal insists on keeping his reported $100 million in assets to himself. On the surface, this seems inequitable, but we plan on giving him a stern talking to. Don't worry about it, and spend five minutes meditating on your People's Red Cube Award. You will feel more equitable in no time!

Olga Photoshopova wrote: If you work harder for the Party than someone else, your award is still the same as theirs. This is actually not demoralizing at all, but invigorating.

So true, Comradette. The Great Reset promises that in the future we'll own nothing and like it.

I am already ahead of the game: I get nothing for contributing to The People's Cube, and as a Zen Buddhist, nothing is all I want.

So invigorating.

P.S. (That $100 million belongs to Blumenthal's wife)

Colonel Obyezyana wrote:...The Great Reset promises that in the future we'll own nothing and like it....

Just kidding: I'm not a Zen Buddhist.

This is like that Dickens' guy writing some circular narrative like: It was the best of times and the worst of times, without even a whiff of irony curtain. Times were documented as just being that way. And, then little 'pelipsky Twist got everything all in an uproar by asking for a second steaming bowl of nothing.

Everything is so novel. It's like this narrative was written before.