The People's Cube - Political Satire

While many have been hesitant to take the Pfizer and Moderna COVID-19 vaccines, the CDC's vaccine advisory panel has recently advised that the Johnson & Johnson jab is better than nothing at all, lest the skeptics prefer the alternative Zyklon-B therapy.

Dr. Rochelle Walensky, the CDC's director, accepted the recommendation, stating: “Any vaccination is better than no vaccination. Those unable or unwilling to receive an mRNA vaccine will continue to have access to Johnson & Johnson, even though it will give you blood clots and make you stroke out and likely die. That's still WAY better that getting mild cold symptoms from the Omicron Variant. Our slogan is, achieve a 100% vaccination rate or die!”

To accelerate the proces, Walensky announced that the FDA has approved the mandatory, off-label use Zyklon-B as a preventative treatment for those who refuse to follow “The Science”™ and are hesitant to accept either of the three recommended COVID-19 vaccines.

An FDA spokesperson further clarified that “early research shows Zyklon-B generates strong immune responses in 100% of the recipients. Test subjects are protected since they no longer have the capacity to inhale any of the known variants of the COVID-19 virus, although experts are unclear how long that protection will last. One thing we know that this is a real gift to humanity.”

“As a bonus, the Zyklon-B test subjects tend to vote Democrat after their last dose. We hope enough of the vaccine-hesitant will receive their mandatory dose of Zyklon-B before the November 2022 midterms,” the FDA spokesperson added.

The Executive Orders mandating COVID-19 vaccinations nationwide are currently under revision to allow Zyklon-B as a mandatory alternative.

VORWÄRTS GEHEN!!!

What a wonderful idea! Christmastime is the perfect time to give a gift, and giftgas is a gift that gives forever!

For those who don't know, "gift" is German for poison.

Most Equally Esteemed Komrads,

Yesterday Mrs. Red Salmon and I went to the local food redistribution center. Everything was as normal as things are here until we reached the checkout. At first I thought felt I was hallucinating. It was a bit disappointing as if I'm going to have hallucinations I would hope they would be something more enjoyable to view than this. I was not comforted by the fact that no one else seemed to even notice. I was left with the question: Why is the Wehrmacht shopping at a Price Chopper in Independence, MO? Was VE Day "Fake News"? Does the sign with "Hungry For Victory" have anything to do with this? I am a very confused fish.


I denounce myself for inserting this more than somewhat off topic posting. I know the drill. It just seemed important.

Swirling in the Current Truth ™,

Red Salmon

Red Salmon wrote:I was not comforted by the fact that no one else seemed to even notice. I was left with the question: Why is the Wehrmacht shopping at a Price Chopper in Independence, MO? Was VE Day "Fake News"? Does the sign with "Hungry For Victory" have anything to do with this? I am a very confused fish. Red Salmon

Not to worry, Comrade. He's just a re-enactor picking up some groceries on his way to Fort Leonard Wood for the annual Battle of the Bulge Christmas Truce re-creation.

That is the story, and if anyone else asks, you saw NOTHING, you heard NOTHING and you know NOTHING!

That sign on the wall, however, is curious. The Ministry of Truth was not supposed to put it up until next Tuesday and—much as I like used to like empanadas—the sign was supposed to tout the benefits of mashed cricket s'mores, not a decadently rich and delicious ethnic staple filled with delicately spiced cow meat baked into heavenly bread, all of which symbolizes human overconsumption of valuable resources, indifference to the climate crisis and murderous exploitation of our animal comrades.

Thank you for snitching informing sharing, Comrade. An investigation has been ordered.

Colonel Obyezyana wrote:

What a wonderful idea! Christmastime is the perfect time to give a gift, and giftgas is a gift that gives forever!

For those who don't know, "gift" is German for poison.

In professional lingo, such words are known as "false friends of interpreters." In this case, mortal friends.

Most Equally Esteemed Komrad,

Colonel Obyezyana wrote:

Not to worry, Comrade. He's just a re-enactor picking up some groceries on his way to Fort Leonard Wood for the annual Battle of the Bulge Christmas Truce re-creation.

That is the story, and if anyone else asks, you saw NOTHING, you heard NOTHING and you know NOTHING!

Most informative. Thank you.

Resting in a eddy in the Current Truth ™,

Red Salmon

I see nothing. I hear nothing. I know NOTHING!

#Omicron is a global disaster for the ruling elites because it's threatening to end the fear of the pandemic by immunizing people to covid without killing them.

Meanwhile in Greece...