The People's Cube - Political Satire

Thank God its Thursday!

If you love the weekend you've got to be loving what my presidency has done for our economy. Inflation, as well as the price of gas and food are on the way down. That's because we've got inflation down. Not only that but hiring is way up with more jobs created since I took office than anytime in our history. It's true. There has never been a better time to be an American.

The economic outlook is so good that employers are thinking of going to four-day work weeks. Can you believe that? I don't know about you but that sounds like a pretty swell deal. The way the economy is going I wouldn't be surprised if a three-day work week isn't very far off.

None of this should come as a surprise because none of this could have happened were it not for the way I've handled the economy. From my very first day in office I've worked to make an economy so strong employers need to figure out how to shorten work weeks.

The economic outlook is so good they have to let workers have more quality time off. This is my promise to the American workers: Expect even more quality time off!

One day soon America won't be saying Thank God it's Thursday, or Wednesday, or even Thank God it's Monday - if I get a second term in office America will say Thank God it's Next Tuesday!

I may have missed something because Tractor Barn #2 was padlocked closed with a sign on it saying "Closed until reports of inflation come down" and so I may have been asleep but I thought last Tuesday was Next Tuesday. Are we not in Utopia™ yet?

Thank WHO???

Did you just use the "G" word, Comrade?

You know that that is banned under Communism, right?

We thank Dear Leader. We don't thank that "G" word.

I'll give you 24 hours to edit your post before I report you to ... oh, I don't know, Commissarka Pinkie or someone.

Mikhail Lysenkomann wrote: ↑

12/20/2022, 12:29 am

Thank WHO???

Did you just use the "G" word, Comrade?

You know that that is banned under Communism, right?

We thank Dear Leader. We don't thank that "G" word.

I'll give you 24 hours to edit your post before I report you to ... oh, I don't know, Commissarka Pinkie or someone.

In Utopia™, comrade, Government and God are synonymous. Comrade Potemkin is simply extrapolating the terminology to it's obvious conclusion. Remember, The Party™ determines the definitions of words and God is easier to spell and remember than Government. The Party™ approved dictionary has these two entries for the two words in question:

God. (noun)

An entity that rules over you for your own benefit and the benefit of the biosphere.

Government. (noun)

An entity that rules over you for your own benefit and the benefit of the biosphere.

As you can see, comrade, there is no cause for alarm. The more people are made aware that Government and God are one and the same, the closer we'll be to achieving the Glorious World of Next Tuesday.

Comrade Pinkie ought to be more concerned about the padlocks on Tractor Barn #2.

Well, I can't argue with that, Comrade. That's some airtight logic, right there.