Comrades, the depths to which the Mexican drug cartels will stoop has no boundaries. Much like The Party™, when they reach the bottom, they keep digging. News has emerged that the cartels are giving up on trafficking in fentanyl, child sex slaves and illegal immigrants. They are now concentrating their energies into the kidnapping and trafficking of chicken offspring. Contraband egg trafficking has doubled, according to certain sources. "Go suck eggs" has become a rallying cry for these criminal organizations. How many people and chickens must die for control of this lucrative market? We need egg control, now!
Comrades, the depths to which the Mexican drug cartels will stoop has no boundaries. Much like The Party™, when they reach the bottom, they keep digging. News has emerged that the cartels are giving up on trafficking in fentanyl, child sex slaves and illegal immigrants. They are now concentrating their energies into the kidnapping and trafficking of chicken offspring. Contraband egg trafficking has doubled, according to certain sources. "Go suck eggs" has become a rallying cry for these criminal organizations. How many people and chickens must die for control of this lucrative market? We need egg control, now!
I am sure AOC is on her way down to the border to cry in front of caged chickens.
Comrade Kim, I hadn't considered this possibility but the photo op is begging to be exploited. It has me considering that sending our border Czar Kamala down there might also be beneficial. She cackles like a chicken. Maybe, like Dr Dolittle, she can talk to the animals and discover the root causes of the problem.
I am sure AOC is on her way down to the border to cry in front of caged chickens.
Comrade Kim, I hadn't considered this possibility but the photo op is begging to be exploited. It has me considering that sending our border Czar Kamala down there might also be beneficial. She cackles like a chicken. Maybe, like Dr Dolittle, she can talk to the animals and discover the root causes of the problem.
She certainly does speak the language
2/15/2023, 9:11 am
jackalopelipsky
Burrowed news is that jackalope eggs are being harvested in advance of Biden White House Easter Egg Roll.
2/15/2023, 10:49 am
Kapitan Kangaroo Kourt
Now you have me wondering how many jackalope eggs can be held on the head of a pin. We should put Adam Schiff in charge of the CDC to investigate the matter and look into funding gain-of-function research. Populating the world with mythical horned rodents could be quite beneficial, so I hear.
2/15/2023, 12:14 pm
jackalopelipsky
Gain of function for horned rodents is the future, KKK.
Gain of function for horned rodents is the future, KKK.
I suppose an over sized rodent should look into investing in gain-of-function horns, also. What could possibly go wrong?
2/16/2023, 3:04 pm
jackalopelipsky
Comrades, you may ask yourselves, “Why don’t jackalopes live prolific lives in my collective? Why is jackalopelipsky the only jackalope I know as a person of comradeship?”
The answer is, SYSTEMIC RACISM! Keeping ’pelipsky isolated and alienated is the life work of Sociologists, and other Party Approved Apparatchiks.
Apparently, woodland creatures like woods, are racist and prefer to be where there is food to be consumed. The chances of being run down by a jihadist or mentally disturbed, non-binary, life insurance salesperson is also greatly diminished in the woods. I, systemically, don't like risking my life. It's a pretty good system and has worked out, so far.
I'm wondering if the Daily Mail has hired some TPC comrades. Has Comrade Ivan the Stakhanovets been gaslighting moonlighting for the Daily Mail? This looks like his work.
2/17/2023, 11:11 am
jackalopelipsky
This is serious, KKK. Collectivehoods without woodland comrades, such as jackalopes, lose their ever loving minds are a terrible thing to waste. It’s a systemic f.a.c,t. Everywhere a jackalope is forced to immigrate, comrades start killing each other. Redline woodland comrades out of their homes, and the whole collectivehood goes evolutionary Darwinian.
....Keeping ’pelipsky isolated and alienated is the life work of Sociologists...
Comrade, I must now research the professional journals and interwebs, as I seem to have missed a memo. As an eminent Sociologist as certified by the Agricultural and Mechanical College of Texazistan, I should have been notified of this project!
The last big project I participated in was defeating the giant armadillo that was consuming more than his rations of the National Beer of Texas back in the early '80s...
2/17/2023, 5:01 pm
jackalopelipsky
RED lining jackalopes was the BIG Sociological Project of the 90’s. Once the Lone Star armadillo was vanquished, other woodland creatures followed. They came for the armadillo, but the rest said, “They weren’t a beer guzzling armadillo”, or so the incremental mythical story goes.
Now, Cadbury jackalope eggs are a theft just waiting to happen. Jackalope eggs are part of Biden’s White House Easter Egg Roll egg cartel underworld economy.
I'm telling you, this egg smuggling business is getting out of control. We shouldn't be enriching the egg manufacturers at the expense of the little people. It's time for an assault egg ban now!
