The People's Cube - Political Satire

Strait of Gibraltar, Mediterranean Sea -- Orcas have been attacking sailboats off the coast of Spain and Portugal since summer 2022, with attacks increasing and now occurring almost daily.  This has scientists baffled.  They know its linked to Climate Change, but have been unable to understand exactly how despite studying the probable connection for months.

The Chair of the Atmospheric Sciences Department at Princeton University, Dr. Keith Kumquat, is an expert in the correlation between the increase in storms worldwide and man-made Climate Change.  He had this to say, "we know nearly everything can be linked to Climate Change if we are given enough funding to study it. We're still working this one, though.  The exact causal mechanism between Orca attacks on boats and Climate Change remains elusive.  We haven't given up on it, though - still plugging away."

According to Dr. Emily Emeritus, primary author of the paper "Anthropogenic Climate Change and its Connection to the Decrease in Global Storm Activity" and the John Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmidt Professor of Climate Studies at Queen's College in New York, was quoted as saying, "we are still examining this phenomenon.  We know Orcas don't normally behave this way.  It's very unusual and scary, therefore we're fairly sure it's caused by Global Warming. Or Global Cooling. Either way it's bad."

Well, Panem, it’s a Congressional known fact that sharks still follow the path slave ships traveled to bigoted America in hopes of getting fed a dead slave carcass, or two. Today ships overloaded with climate change fleeing migrants are known to set sail from Northern Africa hoping to be dumped without mercy or paperwork off the coasts of Portugal and Spain. What if not all the climate change migrants make it to a better climate, alive? What if these orcas are changing their behavior in hopes of being fed a dead climate change fleeing migrant carcass, or two?

Certainly, TPC can start a Congressional fact to be checked on the subject. Or at least make the attempt to conflate an issue for newsrooms to repeat into serious discussion on social media.