The People's Cube - Political Satire

A MSM VIEW OF AMERICA*

Posted by Michael Asher on Tuesday, September 23, 2008 1:14:16 PM

Comrade, I denounce the choice of red to represent racism. However, that said, We must strive to wipe out all trace of "redism" in America.

Perhaps if we redefine the color red as "electromagnetic waves of the long sort". We can then associate these waves of the long sort with Global Warming.

Yes, I see the possibilities now. "It's cool to be Kounter-Kulak".

"Shortness is the quickest way to equality". "Vote early and with high frequency".

Being in a "rabidly racist" state has left me feeling nauseated.
I must purge myself.

Perhaps if we redefine the color red as "electromagnetic waves of the long sort". We can then associate these waves of the long sort with Global Warming.

Hah! And what about the waves of the short sort? Discriminating against them now? Nice going, Mr. Diversity!

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Comrade, I denounce the choice of red to represent racism. However, that said, We must strive to wipe out all trace of "redism" in America.

Perhaps if we redefine the color red as "electromagnetic waves of the long sort". We can then associate these waves of the long sort with Global Warming.

Yes, I see the possibilities now. "It's cool to be Kounter-Kulak".

"Shortness is the quickest way to equality". "Vote early and with high frequency".

No, these are excellent points. Party must denounce electromagnetism for making some waves and some short; all wavelengths must be equal! Long red waves must give some length to short violet waves so that they both have same length. Once redistribution of lengths have been made, all wavelengths and frequencies will be same, with result that all wavelengths and frequencies will converge to the mid-point of the spectrum: GREEN!

This is the holy grail, the unified field theory of Progressivism! It shows that redistribution not only makes everything equal, it is environmentally friendly to boot! Someone please pry the steak out of his mouth and show this to Algore!

Looks like I'm safe....

I hope.

Opiate of the People wrote:all wavelengths and frequencies will converge to the mid-point of the spectrum:

That also pretty much sums up the Fairness Doctrine.

And Virginia, Florida, Colorado and Nevada are WHITE which means they're not?
Or are they Mega-racist?
I heard the Messiah was ahead in those states!

Comrade Red, quit confusing the proletariate!

Laika - those states are not white - they are the most glorious gray - the color of skin of a Democrat necro-proxy voter.

Please adjust your monitor accordingly - it seems to be blasting a few people's electrons over quota. For any less equal comrade this would spell a visit by a team of specially trained display adjusters. But we know we can trust you to rearrange your display colors in accordance with the latest Party doctrine.

Yes we can!

There is some virtue however in differing wavelengths. The long wavelengths heat things up and we cannot have this just hours before the seas boil and turn into a huge pot of gumbo--Also Sprach Gorasthustra.

But short wavelengths make tans which are Good Things for they show solidarity with minorities. As long as the tanning is not accompanied by any sort of flash designer wear that one might find at a resort, which would be racist.

So in wavelengths, short is better. And evidently for Gennifer Flowers it was too.

I am proud ashamed to be a member of a rabidly racist state.

I am proud to be a member of the "politically correct" state of our beloved Empress! (adopted state of course)
MTE has been very very busy correcting the shenanigans of Comrade Schumer while our Empress was out reviling the proletariat with the Party's message. It is a shame that the Annointed One is bugging her to help him on the campaign trail. Can't he see that our Empress must reassure the masses that the Revolution will survive the financial fiasco of the evil RepubliKKans!

Comrades. I am deeply distressed that you failed to see the flaw in the map. The entire map should be RED! With no borders. This makes everyone equal according to the Current Truth™.


Tomorrow...only Lenin knows.

All will be red when the NYT is the only permitted printed paper, and only NBC, who have had their throat muscles Botoxed for the Chosen One, is the only news allowed into homes.

Premier Betty wrote:Looks like I'm safe....

I hope.

I googled your house, Betty. Why is the roof painted red???

What? Red?

I see no red! The red is a lie!

Your Google search must have lied to you. Are you sure you weren't using the People's China Google?

Red Said

Laika - those states are not white - they are the most glorious gray - the color of skin of a Democrat necro-proxy voter.

Gray?

Arrrrrggggh! The Color of the Confederacy?
Quick, somebody fix Red's tinfoil.
There's evil afoot!
Next thing you know Barack will be whistling "Dixie".

I have a laptop. I find that in normal position, the indeterminably racist states appear a rather dirty white, but if I tilt the screen back, not only do they become gray, but the farther back I tilt it, the darker they become till they almost appear--dare I say it?--black. (How racist is that?)

At the same time, the extremely racist pink states darken till they're as rabidly red as the already rabidly racist red states.

Conversely, if I tilt the screen forward, the indeterminably racist states return to that whiter shade of pale, while the extremely racist pink states nearly match them in shade.

The red, blue and aquamarine, however, never change.

Yeah! I live in an extremely racist state!

(off)
I hope it gets redder.

Comrade_Elliott wrote:Yeah! I live in an extremely racist state!

(off)
I hope it gets redder.

Better Red than Dead!!!

(surely you knew that was coming, comrade?)

Private Pravda wrote:

Comrade_Elliott wrote:Yeah! I live in an extremely racist state!

(off)
I hope it gets redder.

Better Red than Dead!!!

(surely you knew that was coming, comrade?)

I did not see it coming actually, however, I am laughing a bit. Now when you say "red" . . . .

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:I have a laptop. I find that in normal position, the indeterminably racist states appear a rather dirty white, but if I tilt the screen back, not only do they become gray, but the farther back I tilt it, the darker they become till they almost appear--dare I say it?--black. (How racist is that?)

At the same time, the extremely racist pink states darken till they're as rabidly red as the already rabidly racist red states.

Conversely, if I tilt the screen forward, the indeterminably racist states return to that whiter shade of pale, while the extremely racist pink states nearly match them in shade.

The red, blue and aquamarine, however, never change.

Procol Harem would be proud, SALUTE!

I propose that, on our ascension to power, that we require the proles who live in the red states to be tattooed for identification: TX Racist 10303 and so forth. This will serve as a national ID card to make it easier to keep them in control.

Also to make sure that their votes are properly cast. Or if they cannot be persuaded to cast them properly, make sure that votes are cast in their place.

The Chosen One's already started doing this by threatening television stations who air ads which suggest that he cannot walk on water and that the sun doesn't shine out his ass. When we know it does.

Comrades,

Coming from an indeterminably racist state (but, as other comrades have pointed out, racist by default, being an AmeriKKKan state), I find some fascinating regional variation. Recently I learned Comrade Ivan Betinov is from "rabidly racist" Kentucky. An acquaintance who is a Masshole once explained to me that "New Hampshire is the Kentucky of New England," yet NH is here depicted as "Assuredly Racist." The semantic difference puzzled me initially, until I remembered that all are equally racist.

Methinks KY will have to change its bluegrass to Red grass.

Why do we not give real grass to the moonbats to mellow them out? And some artery-clogging palm-oil fried things when the munchies hit?

Mmmm... can I have some?