The People's Cube - Political Satire

**9/19/2023, 11:07 am**

Today is September 19 and “International Talk Like a Pirate Day” is upon us once again like the last summer breeze before the seven seas freeze.

Comrades ARRRe encouraged to talk like a pirate at least once ere morn lest ye be keel-hauled. If ye can’t talk like a pirate, at least try to scrawl like one. Ye can do that here, in The People’s Blog at the KARRRL Marx Treatment Center.

Ya scurvy knaves who refuse to participate ARRRe denounced as bourgeoiRRR landlubbers and should report to the kommissARRR at the nearest port to ship out with the rest of the bilge rats settin’ sail for a Siberian brig, otherwise, ye’ll all be tARRRed and feathered where ye stand. (Don’t forget to bring warm clothes and belayin’ pin.)

Aye, it takes work to talk like a pirate—ARRRduous work—but remember that old Socialist slogan, “ARRRbeit Macht Frei.” All ye mates who labor hARRRd may gather this ev’nin’ for vodker and gherkins at the bARRR in our favorite tractor bARRRn. Come as you ARRR but wenches will be there, so make sure to warsh yer ARRRmpits and pirate pARRRts.)

This message sponsored by the Ministry of Truth and Comrades of ARRRmed Organs.

**9/19/2023, 11:43 am**

Cancel Spanish!

**9/20/2023, 7:16 am**

Avast ye comRRRRadeys! What is this lily livered non piRRRRatey non comRRRRadey non RRRRResponse to the Colonel's call? AAARRRRG, ya lily beet liveRRRRed comRRRRRadeys!

RRRRRR you lookin' to be CUBE Hauled in RRRRRED SQUARE??? RRRRRemember The TPC Code!! The TPC System of By-Laws moRRRRRe binding than the living on boRRRRRRowed time Constitution of the United States. Scallywags live amongst us, comRRRRRRadeys!!!

BewaRRRRRe of the RRRRRRRed Spot, ye beet liveRRRRed GWONT HuRRRRRRicane pRRRRRetend communists!

AAAAARRRRGGGG!!!

**9/20/2023, 1:36 pm**

YAAAAARGH!!!

For the Robert Louis Stevenson traditionalist comrades out there:

"Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
....Yo-Ho-Ho and a bottle o' Rum!
Drink an' the devil have done for the rest
....Yo-Ho-Ho and a bottle o' Rum!
But one man of her crew alive
What put to sea with seventy five

And for you Parrot Head comrades:

Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call
Wanted to sail upon your waters since I was three feet tall
You've seen it all, you've seen it all

Watched the men who rode you switch from sails to steam
And in your belly, you hold the treasures few have ever seen
Most of 'em dream, most of 'em dream

Yes I am a pirate, two hundred years too late
The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late

I've done a bit of smugglin', I've run my share of grass
I made enough money to buy Miami, but I pissed it away so fast
Never meant to last, never meant to last

And I have been drunk now for over two weeks
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks
But I got to stop wishin', got to go fishin'
Down to rock bottom again
Just a few friends, just a few friends

I go for younger women, lived with several awhile
Though I ran 'em away, they'd come back one day
Still could manage to smile
Just takes a while, just takes a while

Mother, mother ocean, after all the years I've found
My occupational hazard being my occupation's just not around
I feel like I've drowned, gonna head uptown
I feel like I've drowned, gonna head uptown

First Talk Like a Pirate Day without Jimmy - it just don't feel right.
Your Comrade Red Zeppelin has seen a Buffett show or two in his time. The concert was always anticlimactic - it was the tailgating in the parking lot that was the real fun.

Buffett always glorified the "Golden Age" of Caribbean Piracy and likened himself to a pirate, "born 200 years too late". Piratical costumes are quite popular at the tailgate keggers. I used to joke about showing up in an old and well-worn set of ODs or BDUs with an AK and an RPG slung over my shoulder, a dirty do-rag and some dark face paint. If anybody asked, I'd just tell 'em I'm a Somali Pirate......

YAAAAAAARGH, MATEYS!!!!

**9/20/2023, 2:15 pm**

Aaaaargh, Mateys, they've all abandoned ship. 'Tis a desertion most foul. Might as well plunder the site for scrap metal and use the booty to buy an indoor toilet for the underground bunker.

They've forgotten how to satire, me buckos, and that's the long and short of it. I'll leave 'em a few reminders with these memes I purloined and polished up....

I'll be in my cabin 'til I'm out o' grog. Arrrrgh.

**9/20/2023, 5:54 pm**

I am sorry I missed it.

Around here it was National Voter Registration Day and I didn't even get a cup of cofefe consumed before my local communist news, which is only capable of regurgitating for their network affiliate, is telling me how they need to register the "hispanic community" AKA illegal invaders from 100+ countries around the globe. To make it easy they are proudly showing brochures written in SPANISH on how to register as a voter in American elections.

Let me combine the two events with a pirate toast..................

Yo Ho Ho
And a bottle
Of smelling salts
Because I have a
Case of the vapors
Or beet vodka which will be better.

**9/20/2023, 9:16 pm**

Clara Illbustyourballs Zetkin wrote: ↑
9/20/2023, 5:54 pm
I am sorry I missed it.

Around here it was National Voter Registration Day and I didn't even get a cup of cofefe consumed before my local communist news, which is only capable of regurgitating for their network affiliate, is telling me how they need to register the "hispanic community" AKA illegal invaders from 100+ countries around the globe. To make it easy they are proudly showing brochures written in SPANISH on how to register as a voter in American elections.

At least you're not in Pennsylavniastan, where the Governor just made voter registration automatic when you go to the Directorate of Motor Vehicle Overreach and Restrictions (DMVOR) to get or renew a driver's license. It's ostensibly to cut down on traceable paper records the amount of paper being used in the voter registration process.

And on the matter of "Hispanics"—why does this category even exist? (old liberal affirmative action overreach) It's neither a race nor an ethnicity: language is the only commonality between the widely diverse people who get privileged status from this contrived category.

By that criterion, "Germanic" should be a category. So should Turkic and Indo-Uralic and Bantu and Pirate. "Hispanic" is a deceptive category that falsely creates an identity that's been enshrined by liberals and placed on a pedestal alongside the three races even though Spanish is the third most-spoken languages in the world after English and Chinese.

This treachery has been noted by previous Presidential administrations who valiantly allowed it to continue so as not to upset a critical voting bloc that isn't a bloc at all but only people who speak the same language even though they're collectively an ethnic amalgam of Spanish, Arabs, Amerindians, Africans, Chinese, Portuguese, Pirates and WIPPL.

My daughter is "Hispanic" and she'd be invisible in a snowfall.

Time to end this nonsense even if a few hundred scallawags have to walk the buttered cedar plank that Red Salmon abandoned after no one cooked him.

**9/21/2023, 5:22 am**

Yabbut…..conventional wisdom says that the ‘R’ is the Pirate’s favorite letter. Nyet. It is the ‘C.’ For you Biden voters, the ‘Sea.’

**9/21/2023, 8:44 am**

Red Zeppelin wrote: ↑
9/20/2023, 1:36 pm
YAAAAARGH!!!

For the Robert Louis Stevenson traditionalist comrades out there:

"Fifteen men on a dead man's chest
....Yo-Ho-Ho and a bottle o' Rum!
Drink an' the devil have done for the rest
....Yo-Ho-Ho and a bottle o' Rum!
But one man of her crew alive
What put to sea with seventy five

And for you Parrot Head comrades:

Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call
Wanted to sail upon your waters since I was three feet tall
You've seen it all, you've seen it all

Watched the men who rode you switch from sails to steam
And in your belly, you hold the treasures few have ever seen
Most of 'em dream, most of 'em dream

Yes I am a pirate, two hundred years too late
The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late

I've done a bit of smugglin', I've run my share of grass
I made enough money to buy Miami, but I pissed it away so fast
Never meant to last, never meant to last

And I have been drunk now for over two weeks
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks
But I got to stop wishin', got to go fishin'
Down to rock bottom again
Just a few friends, just a few friends

I go for younger women, lived with several awhile
Though I ran 'em away, they'd come back one day
Still could manage to smile
Just takes a while, just takes a while

Mother, mother ocean, after all the years I've found
My occupational hazard being my occupation's just not around
I feel like I've drowned, gonna head uptown
I feel like I've drowned, gonna head uptown

First Talk Like a Pirate Day without Jimmy - it just don't feel right.
Your Comrade Red Zeppelin has seen a Buffett show or two in his time. The concert was always anticlimactic - it was the tailgating in the parking lot that was the real fun.

Buffett always glorified the "Golden Age" of Caribbean Piracy and likened himself to a pirate, "born 200 years too late". Piratical costumes are quite popular at the tailgate keggers. I used to joke about showing up in an old and well-worn set of ODs or BDUs with an AK and an RPG slung over my shoulder, a dirty do-rag and some dark face paint. If anybody asked, I'd just tell 'em I'm a Somali Pirate......

YAAAAAAARGH, MATEYS!!!!

Parrot Heads and Jackalope Heads, be on the alert for Oakland Pirates. Loosen the cannons and send these wastrels to Davy Jones’ Locker. All hands to the Oakland bilge pumps!

Jackalope Heads will soon be taking to the High Seas, or at least the Intra-coastal Waterway and The Great Loop. AaaaaaRRRRG. Aaaavast! Watch our wake!

https://oceanservice.noaa.gov/facts/great-loop.html

**9/21/2023, 8:55 am**

jackalopelipsky wrote: ↑
9/21/2023, 8:44 am
Parrot Heads and Jackalope Heads, be on the alert for Oakland Pirates. Loosen the cannons and send these wastrels to Davy Jones’ Locker. All hands to the Oakland bilge pumps!

If they're anything like the Pittsburgh Pirates, they're a bunch of losers.

**9/21/2023, 8:57 am**

Colonel Obyezyana wrote: ↑
9/21/2023, 8:55 am

jackalopelipsky wrote: ↑
9/21/2023, 8:44 am
Parrot Heads and Jackalope Heads, be on the alert for Oakland Pirates. Loosen the cannons and send these wastrels to Davy Jones’ Locker. All hands to the Oakland bilge pumps!

If they're anything like the Pittsburgh Pirates, they're a bunch of losers.

Shouldn’t LOSERS be capitalized, sir?

**9/21/2023, 10:09 am**

jackalopelipsky wrote: ↑
9/21/2023, 8:57 am

Colonel Obyezyana wrote: ↑
9/21/2023, 8:55 am
If they're anything like the Pittsburgh Pirates, they're a bunch of losers.

Shouldn’t LOSERS be capitalized, sir?

Only if it's carved into the stern of a boat (just below the POOP deck).