The People's Cube - Political Satire

**2/3/2024, 11:24 am**

Comrades, the kolhozniks have nearly paralyzed European traffic arteries (and some European leaders) with fleets of tractors to protest the anti-farm/anti-farmer, anti-food, anti-competition, anti-private ownership, anti-nationalistic, anti-human policies of the European Union of Stochastic Socialist Republics (E.U.S.S.R.).

Their movement is large and growing larger, and now has spread to the U.S.S.A., with a massive protest breaking out in the sleepy little oblast of Texazistan.

: IN A SHOW OF SOLIDARITY WITH E.U. FARMERS, tractor drivers circle a pole in the middle of a barren field about 30 miles from the nearest highway (but sort of near Tractor Barn No. 2).

On condition they remain anonymous, both tractor drivers said they are protesting against the removal of beet subsidies, the recent cut in beet rations and "them nosey government revenooers [sic]" who keep sneaking onto their properties and scaring the armadillos and jackalopes.

More as this story develops.

**2/4/2024, 10:34 am**

Reporting from the Oblast of Texazistan ---

Texazistan's Agricultural and Mechanical University - TAMU - has a long history of raising a center pole and then circling it while being yell leadered to repeat these stanzas.

Note - Everything circles back to FARMERS

AGGIE YELLS

Gig ‘em
[Pass Back: Closed fist with thumb pointed straight up]

Aaaaaaaa
Gig ‘em, Aggies!

Aggies
[Pass Back: Hands flat, with index fingers and thumbs touching to form an “A”]

A-G-G-I-E-S
A-G-G-I-E-S
Aaaaaaaa
Fight ‘em, Aggies!

Farmers Fight
[Pass Back: Closed fists rotating around each other in alternating directions]

Farmers fight!
Farmers fight!
Fight! Fight!
Farmers, farmers fight!

Military
[Pass Back: Saluting motion]

Squads left! squads right!
Farmers, farmers, we’re all right!
Load, ready, aim, fire, BOOM!

(Seniors only: “Reload!”)
A&M, give us room!

Old Army
[Pass Back: Upward pointed finger moves in circular motion]

Aaaa, Rrrr, Mmmm, Yyyy (Drop voice)
Tttt, Aaaa, Mmmm, Cccc (Drop voice)
Aaaaaaaa
Ol’ Army fight!

Locomotive
[Pass Back: Hand looks to be pulling a train whistle, reaching upward and twisting on downward motion]

(slow)
Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah!
T-A-M-C

(faster)
Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah!
T-A-M-C

(very fast)
Rah! Rah! Rah! Rah!
T-A-M-C

(Seniors only: “Whoop!”)
Aaaaaaa
Rah! Rah! Rah! Team!

Kyle Field
[Pass Back: Left hand raised with waving motion, right hand at your side with index finger pointing to the ground]

K-Y-L-E

F-I-E-L-D

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Kyle Field, Aaaa

Aggie Stomp
[Pass Back: With both arms raised, pound right fist into left palm in a punching motion]

(While stomping right foot on the bleacher) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

(Stomp right foot)

(Stomp right foot)

(Stomp foot) FIGHT

Beat the Hell
[Pass Back: Left arm clapping bicep, Right arm pulling up, fist clenched]

Beat the hell outta (whoever we’re playing that week)!

Fifteen for Team
[Pass Back: 15 fingers are shown, followed by a “T” motion similar to a “time out” signal]

Rah! Rah! Rah! Team!

Fifteen for Team , Farmers Fight, Call it a Night
[Pass Back: 15 fingers are shown, followed by a “T” motion similar to a “time out” signal; Closed fists rotating around each other in alternating directions; Hands clapped together, brought to right side of head in a “sleeping” motion]

Rah! Rah! Rah! Team!
Farmers fight!
Farmers fight!
Fight! Fight!
Farmers, farmers fight!

Horse Laugh
[Pass Back: Hands with fingers straight are held palms together, and then hands move back and forth in a pointing motion]

Riffety, riffety, riff-raff!
Chiffity, chiffity, chiff-chaff!
Riff-raff! Chiff-chaff!
Let’s give ‘em a horse laugh:
Sssssss!

Team
[Pass Back: Hands form a “T”, like a “time out” symbol]

T-E-A-M, T-E-A-M
Aaaaaaaa
Team! Team! Team!

Students have lost their lives circling the center pole, so the center pole rite has gone underground. But, FARMERS with TRACTORS remain committed in the oblast of Texazistan.

https://www.youtube.com/live/o2H_VO8nE2o?feature=shared

When the convoy of Tractor Trailer Trucks arrive in Texazistan to defend The Alamo, there will be a large conflagration. To quote Colonel O, this is why remembering The Alamo is so important to the oblast of Texazistan.

"them nosey (Mexican Army) government revenooers [sic]" who keep sneaking onto their properties and scaring the armadillos and jackalopes.

All comrades are advised to get your kulak tractor into Ivan's shop at Tractor Barn #2 for a tune up, before the rush.

**2/4/2024, 11:19 am**

UPDATE: Sunday morning, 2024-02-04.

Due to concerns that the protest will spill south, MEXIPOL has dispatched a formidible detachment of riot police to break up the farmer tractor protest in Texazistan before it grows.

: MEXICO'S FINEST prepares a motorized rubber raft to carry a crack contingent of riot police to the site of the Texazistan tractor protest. Travel time to the scene is estimated to be two weeks.

Yet to be determined is whether MEXIPOL has jurisdiction to quell the potentially violent disturbance in the USSA or how a rubber raft will travel more than 200 miles over land in Texazistan.

**2/4/2024, 12:34 pm**

Again, Colonel O, you shovel scooped anything any one is not considering is happening on the ground of Texazistan. Jackalopes of Texazistan tell the story as to how property owners out in the middle of nowhere, Texazistan, would find uniformed Mexican Army groups surveying their property for Mexican developers looking to seize.

That's why Texazistan remembers The Alamo. Will uniformed MEXIPOL cross the border, again, to prevent MAGA from advancing past the Rio Grande? Best keep your shovels ready, and be sure to book your tractor for a good going over, with @IvanTractorBarn#2

You don't want your tractor to break down on the long haul down I35 San Antonio. That would be like throwing a Lone Star bottleneck at a sanctuary town's business.

The Ambassor's wife will take your information and put your tractor on Ivan's clip board schedule. Get your tractor long haul, ready.

**2/5/2024, 12:28 pm**

UPDATE: Monday morning, 2024-02-05.

The Texazistan Tractor Protest has expanded by leaps and bounds, doubling in numbers overnight to four, two of which are not red.

: A MENACING PRESENCE of still more tractors disrupts the tranquility of a pastoral Texazistan field for a tense third day.

Our observers report that the tractors are mysteriously parked with not a soul is in sight, but the field is strewn with what appears to be empty plastic jugs and a pair of pants is flying—flag-like—from the pole at the center of the scene.

More as fresh detals emerge.

**2/5/2024, 2:44 pm**

jackalopelipsky wrote: ↑
2/4/2024, 10:34 am
Reporting from the Oblast of Texazistan ---

Texazistan's Agricultural and Mechanical University - TAMU - has a long history of raising a center pole and then circling it while being yell leadered to repeat these stanzas.

Note - Everything circles back to FARMERS

AGGIE YELLS

All comrades are advised to get your kulak tractor into Ivan's shop at Tractor Barn #2 for a tune up, before the rush.

Silly Rabbit.

The inner-most sacred of chantings from the Temple at Kyle Field are not for the unchosen, unwashed, or other proles. Let's keep such to ourselves and let others ponder for the deeper meanings...

Hullabaloo Caneck Caneck.

Ivan.

(P.S. Special Discount for the next two weeks on tractor repair for anyone whos' name does NOT end in a vowel or a "Z" and meets residency requirements)

**2/5/2024, 3:14 pm**

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote: ↑
2/5/2024, 2:44 pm

jackalopelipsky wrote: ↑
2/4/2024, 10:34 am
Reporting from the Oblast of Texazistan ---

Texazistan's Agricultural and Mechanical University - TAMU - has a long history of raising a center pole and then circling it while being yell leadered to repeat these stanzas.

Note - Everything circles back to FARMERS

AGGIE YELLS

All comrades are advised to get your kulak tractor into Ivan's shop at Tractor Barn #2 for a tune up, before the rush.

Silly Rabbit.

The inner-most sacred of chantings from the Temple at Kyle Field are not for the unchosen, unwashed, or other proles. Let's keep such to ourselves and let others ponder for the deeper meanings...

Hullabaloo Caneck Caneck.

Ivan.

(P.S. Special Discount for the next two weeks on tractor repair for anyone whos' name does NOT end in a vowel or a "Z" and meets residency requirements)

Just so, Tractor Barn Ivan. Like, ‘pelipsky felt like a leaker by reposting what TAMU posted for anyone to see and know about the lore of the letters A & M.

Since you were busy out in the field, ‘pelipsky just filled in the back ground on center poles in Texazistan.

That two week discount is nice touch. Today is Monday, so that means it’s over next Tuesday? Right?

**2/5/2024, 6:25 pm**

Yes Ma'am, EVERYTHING ends Next Tuesday™...

**2/6/2024, 11:09 am**

UPDATE: Tuesday morning, 2024-02-06.

Has it ended? We don't know.

Our observers returned from the site of the increasingly potentially violent farmers' tractor-protest/possible insurrection with no memory of what they'd seen.

: MYSTERIOUS PHOTO from the Texazistan protest site appears to show a modern church (or bank?) floating over the field and a football player (?) in vinyl gimp garb approaching the camera.

Our observers have no useful information to report at this time but have complained of temporary blindness and painful rectums.

More later if we can find some Visine and Preparation-H.

**2/6/2024, 6:57 pm**

Hullabaloo, Colonel O. Things are restless here in Texazistan. Some are saying "it smells like death," but that's probably a right wing extremism narrative that must be disinformatized by Federal News Bureaus. This video is smuggled directly from the Rio Grande River, Texazistan,

WARNING:::::: Have your Visine and Preparation B readily at hand, for your viewing comfort, comrades.

Hopefully the Tractor convoy will resupply the Collective with Visine and Preparation B, soon. Stockpiling and hoarding of these two over the counter items has begun. Oh my jackalopelipsky considers to self, ,,,the Cartels are radical free trade marketeers of humanity...

VISINE!!!! Don't want to see!!!

Nikki Haley is already reaching out to these new Texazistanian voters. This is an attempt to alarm the Karenthian Horde's control of MEN's Voteginas into action, Throughout Texazistan, The Texazistan's Horde of First Karenthians faces are enduring bleeding just from Trump saying he would see them, next Tuesday. Trump seeks to master their voteginas, and the voteginas they control.

Next Tuesday is trading at GWONTdaq ;$83 million, in Texazistan.

https://www.currentrevolt.com/p/is-nimr ... texas-blue

**2/8/2024, 11:29 am**

Colonel Obyezyana wrote: ↑
2/6/2024, 11:09 am
UPDATE: Tuesday morning, 2024-02-06.

Has it ended? We don't know.

Our observers returned from the site of the increasingly potentially violent farmers' tractor-protest/possible insurrection with no memory of what they'd seen.

Our observers have no useful information to report at this time but have complained of temporary blindness and painful rectums.

More later if we can find some Visine and Preparation-H.

Reporting from Texazistan in regards to Alien Ship, AI, and the gimp clad football coach...

https://www.currentrevolt.com/p/houston ... ape-victim

Visine and Preparation B, don't leave your cubicle, or tractor barn, without it.

https://texasscorecard.com/investigatio ... -texas-am/

**2/8/2024, 2:33 pm**

UPDATE: Thursday morning, 2024-02-08.

Our observers have recovered well enough to return to the imminently explosive site of the perilous farmer tractor protest to find a puzzling and foreboding turn of events.

: Over a dozen large ape-like creatures run rampant at the nearly deserted protest site Thursday morning.

Tens of apes or wild ape-like creatures now occupy the site, drinking from the half-empty plastic jugs and chimping out over a mysterious stone-like slab where the pole formerly stood. Additionally, two DHS migrant transportation buses are parked nearby (it's unknown whether they're dropping off or loading). Strangest of all, however, is that two Mexican riot police have just approached the area and disembarked from a rubber raft.

More as this story unfolds.

**2/9/2024, 10:50 am**

Report from Texazistan.

Chinese TikTok swears tractors are self aware of Texazistan’s Border Crisis.

American media states tractors appeared to be self-aware during Covid 2022, but are now functionally dormant during Border Crisis.

https://apnews.com/article/fact-check-t ... 5996485570

**2/9/2024, 1:04 pm**

jackalopelipsky wrote: ↑
2/9/2024, 10:50 am
Report from Texazistan.

Chinese TikTok swears tractors are self aware of Texazistan’s Border Crisis.

American media states tractors appeared to be self-aware during Covid 2022, but are now functionally dormant during Border Crisis.

https://apnews.com/article/fact-check-t ... 5996485570

It would be wise to note that the Associated Press (AP) belongs to the leftist bloc of corporate media and its reportage is fraught with a liberal leftist slant as is its disturbingly woke style manual. A "fact check" from AP is about as worthless as those the thoroughly discredited Snopes did on satire by both The Babylon Bee and The People's Cube.

In this case, the AP fails to recognize that the video in question is a form of advertising and not a news report. Advertising is often hyperbolic whether by accident or design, and use of illustrative footage unrelated to the actual event adds visual impact with little regard for accuracy.

If AP is dissatisfied that the vid doesn't contain a disclaimer about the origins of the footage, it may find even more fertile fields to fact check in advertising generally and political statements specifically.

You'll note that AP reporter Melissa Goldin presented only Biden Administration talking points about the border and razor wire, sugar-coated the dumpster-fire "border-security bill" because it would "unlock money for Ukraine," and reports that Biden said "he would be willing to shut down the U.S.-Mexico border if lawmakers send him a bill to sign" but fails to report that the President already has that power under existing law or that only 20 out of 118 billion dollars of the boondoggle bill goes to what amounts to the continuing destruction of U.S. borders and immigration system.

It's laughable that after such misleading, deceptive reportage, the AP tacks this to the end of its "fact check":

"This is part of AP’s effort to address widely shared misinformation, including work with outside companies and organizations to add factual context to misleading content that is circulating online."

I'd go on, but my original post is about the spreading of the Farmers' Protest in Europe, not immigration policy that openly defies law for political purposes.

**2/9/2024, 3:30 pm**

And here was jackalopelipsky thinking, a crime already, that using The AP as a foil to the veracity of Tik Tok was funny. They are both absurdities of Broadcast News current truth.

In any narrative, a foil is a character who contrasts with another character, typically, a character who contrasts with the protagonist, in order to better highlight or differentiate certain qualities of the protagonist.

'pelipsky is a protagonist, braiding the absurdity of real life Texazistan into your narrative. The jackalope didn't mean no harm, and like Joe Biden, is thinking that ice cream tastes good.

The jackalope household received a campaign slick card for a State Representative candidate "Backed by Conservatives you can trust", and none of them are on 'pelipsky's trust meter. (All nationally known Texazistianians)

Visine and Preparation B are going to be sold out, soon.

**2/11/2024, 7:52 am**

jackalopelipsky wrote: ↑
2/9/2024, 3:30 pm

Relax. It was an exploitable opportunity to puke on AP.

**2/11/2024, 9:12 am**

Colonel Obyezyana wrote: ↑
2/11/2024, 7:52 am

jackalopelipsky wrote: ↑
2/9/2024, 3:30 pm

Relax. It was an exploitable opportunity to puke on AP.

You did a better job exploiting AP than the jackalope’s comparison of America’s AP news coverage to Chinese Tik exploitation. The Current Truth in Texazistan is down in the toilet, somewhere. Let jackalopelipsky take another look. Nice Chupacabra…

Texazistan is a private residence, man.

Maybe the apes of Texazistan will be genetically modified by touching the megalith.

**2/11/2024, 10:23 am**

UPDATE: Sunday, 2024-02-11.

It now appears that the potentially explosively lethal Farmers' Tractor Protest and possible insurrection has not lasted into a ninth day.

A tense stand-off was avoided by an astonishing turn of events as a pair of unidentified businessmen have purchased the land.

**3/25/2024, 8:05 am**

The Tractor Revolt of Homestead Farmers and Tradwives of Oregon - a region so fertile it bears the name Oregon — is rumbling. These dangerous types must be plowed under through government control or they could thrive through their own initiative.

https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2024/0 ... aders-war/

The People's Cube - Political Satire

E.U. Farmers' Tractor Protest Spreads to Texazistan