The People's Cube - Political Satire

WASHINGTO DC:

Senior Democratic Party Leaders™ have spoken out, after the electoral disaster of November 5, 2024, of the need to reform the election process in the Untied States of America. Anonymous DNC sources, speaking anonymously, because they were not authorized to speak on behalf of the people melting down, are suggesting that, not only should the Constitutional mechanism of choosing POTUS be abandoned, but the entire popular vote should be discarded, also.

"Look, when we had the popular vote, we had excuses. We don't have excuses anymore." said one anonymous source. "The reality is that we need to eliminate excuses and any need for them. Eliminating the popular vote, along with the Electoral College, will take care of that problem."

"It's quite clear that a popular vote only leads to Hitler being elected by NAZIs," asserted another anonymous Leader™. "We have to end this divisive political climate created by the garbage American people and do away with popular voting, altogether!"

A source close to Nancy Pelosi stated, "Well, we ended the popular vote in the Democratic Party when we shoved Joe under the bus. We showed how effective ending popular voting within the Party could be. We just need to expand that success to the entire country. If America leads, the world will follow."

Democrats are experiencing terrible consternation and asking, as one anonymous source expressed, "Where did America go wrong? How did we get here? Why was the media not capable of convincing people how stupid they are? Why did our scold lectures not work? We tried to inform them of how racist, sexist, misogynistic, racist, transphobic, Islamophobic, racist and sexist they are and they just didn't listen. We seem to have a messaging problem."

It's seems very clear that the Democratic Party thinks Americans are stupid and they are now searching for a better form of messaging to convince them of how stupid they are and how smart the Democratic Party is.

"We must convince stupid people to be unburden by what has been," said one anonymous source.

The Party™ clearly has work to do to arrest the development of these Unsettling™ trends in these Uncertain™ times.

Most Equally Esteemed Comrade Kapitan,

What an inspiring summation of "Our Democracy"!  Reading it gave me goose bumps.  To be unburdened by what has been and experience deja vu all over again. 

Wondering how I can be a threat to "Our Democracy" in the Current Truth™,

Red Salmon

When your average radical's schedule is packed with campaigning, LGBTQ marches, bombing police stations, enhancing your personal bottom line with $900 limit shopping-lifting sprees, assaulting non-believers, and dragging monuments and statues behind your pick-up truck, perhaps creating Blue Gestapo Shirts" is the best way forward to authorize them to speak on your behalf. We could finally have voices that sympathize with the millions who have suffered through generations of political injustice or whenever a gun-wielding man of leftist political descent is yanked from his rooftop position who never obtained a liberal arts word salad degree. This is how to manage your messaging problem!  Yes, The Party™ has work to do to arrest the development of these Unsettling™ trends in these Uncertain™ times. After all, we need "BLUE SHIRTS" as people are just too ignorant to be trusted with a decision as important as choosing our President!  

Comrades, are we to assume that 18 million party sympathizers who voted for Premier Josef Stolen simply disappeared into thin air?

Kommissar Uberdave wrote: ↑

11/20/2024, 10:21 pm

Comrades, are we to assume that 18 million party sympathizers who voted for Premier Josef Stolen simply disappeared into thin air?

Those missing voters are no doubt racist, misogynist, and probably LGBTQKRSTDF Phobic too.  They heroically chose Hitler over their obvious antidiverse opinions and stayed home vs having been compelled to vote for Kamala 
 

Kommissar Uberdave wrote: ↑

11/20/2024, 10:21 pm

Comrades, are we to assume that 18 million party sympathizers who voted for Premier Josef Stolen simply disappeared into thin air?

Comrade, the dead Party™ members simply chose to not vote this time. They wanted to vote for the dead guy and Queen Kamala the Grate was simply not dead enough.