For comrades who would like to send Christmas greetings to a liberal Democrat but are reticent because of the possibility of being castigated, doxxed, swatted or sued, here's a greeting that frees you of any or all liability for any ensuing liberal tears or tantrums:
Dear Person
(hereinafter called the wishee):
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.
We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2025 and express hope that it favorable for you specifically and our great country as a whole.
Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere. The preceding wishes are extended without regard to the race, creed, age, physical ability, religious faith or lack thereof, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.
By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or itself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
But in the unlikely case you are a reactionary,
knuckle-dragging, conservative right-winger, we wish you a
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Note: I didn't write this greeting, I found it somewhere back in 2020 and dug it out of my archives to pesent here with some slight modifications.
