The People's Cube - Political Satire

(This is an abridged, People's-cube-adapted version of my more-detailed post from my blog: here!)

My fellow comrades!

If our most socialistically wonderful Obamessiah wins this November and "Universal" Health-care is implemented into our government, what will be next on His glorious list?

We know that Socialism is what some call a "scary" thought...to only baby-seal-bashing REPUGLIKANS and even many swing-voters, but that's why Obamessiah has had the help of great marketing managers.

Is this not the world of marketing an item to appear as something it's not!? For example:

• "Hot Topic" stores for the corporate-hating non-conformist
  
• "Independent" movies owned by Sony and 20th Century Fox
  
• "Change" from a Chicago politician

and so on...


But what may be most important for Obama will be to hold his guns peace-lilies close to him until re-election in 2012, because we all know in marketing that it's important to:

• throw in clever marketing ploys
  
• use catchy slogans
  
• and most of all: promise people free stuff

Given the word "universal" has been very appealing, why fix something if it isn't broken?

Rumored proposals of "universal" promises for the masses in 2012 by Obamessiah are:

1. "Universal" housing. Let's spread the quality and size around to make all houses equal!


2. "Universal" food supply. If we are guaranteed health care issued by the government, who are we to NOT demand food supply from the government!?


and like icing on the cake...

3. "Universal" toiletries. we must make sure to spread toiletries to all "...because it's good for everybody!"

Glorious! I especially like the universal food, no capitalist marketing, just pure Obama.

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Esteemed Comrade Politilemologist said:
"Universal" food supply. If we are guaranteed healthcare issued by the government, who are we to NOT DEMAND FOOD SUPPLY FROM THE GOVERNMENT?

Already done, Comrade.
One word answer: FOOD STAMPS!
Everyone on Food Stamps got an increase this month. Another attempt to lull the masses. That's the way the proles in my neighborhood pay for their:

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beer, drugs.......oh no...I meant to say potatoes & beets. I believe that McDonalds, Burger King and KFC coupons are coming soon.
Why, I have proles coming up to me asking if I need any groceries?Would I give them the equivalent (NEVER PAY FULL PRICE~ they won't leave you alone) in cash.
Yes, Comrades - An easy way to enjoy lobster, caviar etc. Of course, when their stamps are gone, then they want to mug you for: "Hey mon, ya got 50 cent!"

4ASK not what your country can do for you... DEMAND that it give you free stuff.

I have long been an advocate of Free Everything for All, and I certainly agree that the populace is owed the sort of high-quality products pictured here.

I Hope the toilet paper is a Change from the stuff I use, it's a little rough.

Do you suppose the Glorious Leader might spring for universal bidets?

Che Gourmet wrote:

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Esteemed Comrade Politilemologist said:
"Universal" food supply. If we are guaranteed healthcare issued by the government, who are we to NOT DEMAND FOOD SUPPLY FROM THE GOVERNMENT?

Already done, Comrade.
One word answer: FOOD STAMPS!
Everyone on Food Stamps got an increase this month. Another attempt to lull the masses. That's the way the proles in my neighborhood pay for their:

---

beer, drugs.......oh no...I meant to say potatoes & beets. I believe that McDonalds, Burger King and KFC coupons are coming soon.
Why, I have proles coming up to me asking if I need any groceries?Would I give them the equivalent (NEVER PAY FULL PRICE~ they won't leave you alone) in cash.
Yes, Comrades - An easy way to enjoy lobster, caviar etc. Of course, when their stamps are gone, then they want to mug you for: "Hey mon, ya got 50 cent!"

I guess I was referring more to the government now issuing all food we eat for our glorious sustenance.

...but that is hilarious about the food stamps, what kinda of exchange rate do you get? lol

Comrade Politilemologist:

Around here, the exchange rate is 50 cent on the dollar!

What about Hot Pockets? Are they going to be universally available as well? Do we all get free Hot Pockets every day delivered to our doorstep with our sour milk?

Premier Betty wrote:What about Hot Pockets? Are they going to be universally available as well? Do we all get free Hot Pockets every day delivered to our doorstep with our sour milk?

Da, just some Hot Pockets are more equal than others.