The People's Cube - Political Satire

President Donald Trump began flying California National Guard troops into Oregon after a judge blocked the use of Oregon's own Guard, prompting Democratic governors to sue while also Googling whether this can even happen.

Roughly 200 previously federalized California troops were reassigned to Portland this weekend - or, in the words of Oregon officials, "arrived like an ex with a U-Haul" - even as Portland officials insisted the current street action ranks "somewhere between a polite drum circle and a mild line-standing at an artisanal pickle shop," a statement issued minutes after a Molotov cocktail hit their window and a trash can shattered the lobby glass.

"Look, it's simple," Trump said, unveiling a large foam mallet behind the White House podium. "If Governor A says 'no Guard,' we use the Guard from Governor B." He then tapped a laminated placard titled WHACK-A-GOV, featuring silhouettes of Democratic governors popping up wearing tiny hardhats.

Pentagon officials insisted everything was by the book. "We have a book," said one spokesperson, holding up an arcade rule card. "It clearly states: if the local mole refuses to be bonked, you are authorized to bonk an adjacent mole."

Inside the West Wing, sources described a new Mallet Czar to coordinate rapid cross-state Guard allocation. Policy pilots include Guard Timeshares: Oregon uses California's Guard on odd weekends; Illinois borrows Indiana’s once the mostly peaceful signs start lighting the storefronts.”

Back in Sacramento, a visibly irked Gov. Gavin Newsom asked reporters to stop calling it a "Troop-Share" app. "There is no app," he said. "Okay, there is an app, but it's invite-only and the UX is terrible." Over in Salem, Oregon Gov. Tina Kotek reportedly drafted a bill prohibiting out-of-state Guardsmen from entering Oregon without first swearing they've watched every episode of Portlandia.

At the close of Sunday's briefing, the President promised to keep whacking: "If a mole pops up in Portland, we hit Portland. If a mole pops up in the courts, we hit the courts with appeals." He then posed for photos with the foam mallet, which aides clarified was not, in fact, a nuclear football.

WHACK A GOV has hit Texazistan by Red storm, Red Square!

How to respond to such a post as yours was such a challenge. The jackalope has been focused on the deportation of an entire public school campus, until realizing how Trump WHACKED Texazistan's Gov really is. WHACK A GOV - Texazistan Style is the perfect follow-up to your post, Red Square.



A Trump whacked Gov thinks doing the Constitution required thing was their idea.

Red Square:

even as Portland Austin's officials insisted the current street action ranks "somewhere between a polite drum circle and a mild line-standing at an artisanal pickle shop," a statement issued minutes after a Molotov cocktail hit their window and a trash can shattered the lobby glass.

Austin = Portland
Portland = Austin

So Trump Whacked Texazistan's Gov to commit NATIONAL Guard troops to quell same lawless behavior occurring in Portland, Oregon that has turned beautiful Austin, our beautiful capitol parks and surroundings, into an ugly place in which a comrade attempts to survive, with wife and children, pets, extended family, plus comrades each day.





Austin EMS is a beneficiary in Austin's escalating social chaos. Collapse Pushers wanting more??? Only a communist would fall for this Prop Q shakedown socialism happening in the city of Austin, Texazistan.



WHACK. A. GOV.!!!

Texazistan, style.

This is the best game ever, Red Square. Watching the hammer whacking GOVs! It's like watching a Punch and Judy show, but in American, so we all understand the nuance. After we play WHACK A GOV, let's play pin the sombrero on the RINO.

More Trump whacked Gov in Texazistan with love to Oregon.

Portland




Austin

The nice thing about Austin is that it's close to Texas.

Thats it.

Ivan the Stakhanovets wrote: ↑

10/16/2025, 10:21 pm

The nice thing about Austin is that it's close to Texas.

Thats it.

But, Ivan, where's the SUB?? huh?? huh?? you say there isn't one, like you've been hooked up to a portable generator to make you talk, and "KNOW" there isn't, like Hillary never knew anything, before. She KNEW Nothing!!! Hillary could be waterboarded and she still wouldn't know anything. Take it to the bank, and cash it like pieces of the French Crown Jewels.

Red Square wrote a literal journalism piece about Trump's Whack-A-Gov Game that it incited Jackalopelipsky to fly over Texazistan dropping a payload, like Trump did to that nobody kid we don't talk about, anymore. Jackalopelipsky is so sorry, Red Square, and with inferior satirist skills because it's LITERAL Sh*t the jackalope is payloading, here.

No one compares to you, that why we riff, sir.