2/17/2026, 7:30 am
Mr. Wizard, the magical lizard famed for his intervention exploits in the 1960s as one of King Leonardo's Short Subjects, has joined ICE in an effort to help illegal migrants come home.
Mr. Wizard went into a long period of depression after failing to save Tooter Turtle from a misadventure in 1758, where Tooter was trapped in a French Colonial Louisiana restaurant kitchen and dismembered to make a delicious soup.
Overcome with guilt, Mr. Wizard remained in seclusion until he became aware of the current epidemic of illegal migrant crime and decided to rise to the occasion.
At the time of this writing, it is not known whether Mr. Wizard is actually sending migrants "home" or to CECOT, and the Democrat Party is petitioning D.C. District Judge Boasburg for a restraining order to halt Mr. Wizard's deportations.
Mr. Wizard went into a long period of depression after failing to save Tooter Turtle from a misadventure in 1758, where Tooter was trapped in a French Colonial Louisiana restaurant kitchen and dismembered to make a delicious soup.
Overcome with guilt, Mr. Wizard remained in seclusion until he became aware of the current epidemic of illegal migrant crime and decided to rise to the occasion.
At the time of this writing, it is not known whether Mr. Wizard is actually sending migrants "home" or to CECOT, and the Democrat Party is petitioning D.C. District Judge Boasburg for a restraining order to halt Mr. Wizard's deportations.