3/22/2026, 2:55 pm
Most Equally Esteemed Comrades,
Exciting news in the Midwest! The now forgotten KC SunFresh grocery store owned and operated into ruin by the benevolent Government of Kansas City will reopen. The current residents of the derelict temporarily vacant building are to be relocated. Somehow their relocation is related to the upcoming FIFA Championship Cup Match to be played here. In any event, the People’s Grocery will reopen under the same different management.
This time it will be different. The People’s Grocery will be named United Market™. Catchy, don’t you think feel? The grand opening, not “reopening” as that would acknowledge the existence of the KC SunFresh disaster experiment, will be just before the crowds are expected for the FIFA match.
The City Council released a teaser about the new and improved business plan for United Market™. While this will be the People’s Grocery, it will be run like a membership warehouse. Potential patrons will be required to apply for membership and be approved to shop for the People’s Groceries. The membership will be no charge to begin with, but the City Council did not rule out a fee in the future. Apparently we don’t want the wrong people shopping for the People’s Groceries.
I applaud the creation of a Potemkin Grocers™ at 31st and Prospect Ave. (Potemkin Grocery™ would have been a much better name.) I doubt many of the FIFA tourists will venture into that area. Even Football Hooligans might think twice. In any event, the totally not caused by the actions of the City Council Food Desert will no longer exist. At least for those politically connected fortunate enough to snag a membership.
Floorward!
Abomination From The Deep,
Red Salmon
Exciting news in the Midwest! The now forgotten KC SunFresh grocery store owned and operated into ruin by the benevolent Government of Kansas City will reopen. The current residents of the derelict temporarily vacant building are to be relocated. Somehow their relocation is related to the upcoming FIFA Championship Cup Match to be played here. In any event, the People’s Grocery will reopen under the same different management.
This time it will be different. The People’s Grocery will be named United Market™. Catchy, don’t you think feel? The grand opening, not “reopening” as that would acknowledge the existence of the KC SunFresh disaster experiment, will be just before the crowds are expected for the FIFA match.
The City Council released a teaser about the new and improved business plan for United Market™. While this will be the People’s Grocery, it will be run like a membership warehouse. Potential patrons will be required to apply for membership and be approved to shop for the People’s Groceries. The membership will be no charge to begin with, but the City Council did not rule out a fee in the future. Apparently we don’t want the wrong people shopping for the People’s Groceries.
I applaud the creation of a Potemkin Grocers™ at 31st and Prospect Ave. (Potemkin Grocery™ would have been a much better name.) I doubt many of the FIFA tourists will venture into that area. Even Football Hooligans might think twice. In any event, the totally not caused by the actions of the City Council Food Desert will no longer exist. At least for those politically connected fortunate enough to snag a membership.
Floorward!
Abomination From The Deep,
Red Salmon