The People's Cube - Political Satire

http://www.change.gov

Is that where I register to not have to pay my mortgage anymore? Or do I just stop paying and they'll get the idea?

"Obama will call on citizens of all ages to serve America, by developing a plan to require 50 hours of community service in middle school and high school and 100 hours of community service in college every year."

Glorious! The plans for forced labor for all of us are being established! My collective mind can't wait until January!

My grandson taking a heavy course load at Penn State and working part-time will be thrilled. How soon will the forms be ready?

One of the courses he took last year was Ethics In Journalism. I was shocked that they still teach such things. Made me kinda hopeful........

Grigori, rejoice in teaching ethics. As I recall Elliott Abrams, a Rethuglican who was traduced and railroaded on trumped-up charges, was sentenced to 100 hours of teaching ethics to lawyers.

No doubt he could have been speaking Linear B for all the good it did.

Can teach ethics to Lawyers? I love this Country.

Grigori, there are experiments going on at Seaworld to teach sharks to be warm and cuddly when a bucket of blood is dumped in the water. When those succeed we'll be able to teach ethics to lawyers.

Will people be paid for this--say, in the form of prepaid Visa cards that won't be valid anywhere--or is like the Indiana Jones movie where they asked for "another volunteer" after the previous one had his head chopped off?

http://www.change.gov/agenda/service/

Green Job Corps: Obama and Biden will create an energy-focused youth jobs program to provide disadvantaged youth with service opportunities weatherizing buildings

Oh, goody! They'll be sending some punks out to nail plywood over my windows for the next hurricane. I'm so sick of having to do that myself.

Social Investment Fund Network: Obama and Biden will create a Social Investment Fund Network to use federal seed money to leverage private sector funding to improve local innovation, test the impact of new ideas and expand successful programs to scale.

WTF?

Pinkie's Principles on Parts of Speech: The more verbs you use, the deeper the bullshit and the bigger the shovel someone else will need to dig themselves out of it.

Pinkie, I think that for the illustrious Commissarka that you are, you are insufficiently impressed with the jargon. After all, you are at such a high level in the inner circle that I would have thought that by now you would be completely immune to thinking. Scheming, plotting, lying, cheating, yes. Go for it. But thinking? Forswear it.

"Investment." I had, in my silly way, thought that investment was what you did with your money or money entrusted to you in a fiduciary capacity. I have learned that we are to have the investment of money taken forcibly, that is, under menaces of incarceration, from people who had other uses for it. In olden days this would have been called having a year-long bender on the proceeds of a highway robbery.

"Improving local innovation." I have found that by far the most innovative people are those who are so sterile that they work for government. That innovation squirts out in odd places.

"Testing the impact of new ideas." I see now. In my blinkered way I'd thought that if something failed it would obviously fail but I had forgotten how government works. <i>In government something doesn't fail if he has funding.</i>

"Seed money." And I had thought that was what farmers had, or what whores had.

Oh. I get it.

Social Investment Fund Network: Obama and Biden will create a Social Investment Fund Network to use federal seed money to leverage private sector funding to improve local innovation, test the impact of new ideas and expand successful programs to scale.

I weep tears of joy as I await the glorious "local innovation" which will be "expanded successfully to scale." Oh how I've prayed that this day might come! Take that, you traiterous Republicans - we will be in your face with the fully tested impacts of new ideas!

HA!

When Pinkie bitches, the Obamessiah listens!

The link I posted and from which I mimeswiped a few nuggets in the my previous post has been yanked off the air for retooling.

You were right, Theocritus! I do have The Touch!

Already he keeps his promises, and he's not even in office yet. Change! Rapid, frequent change! Change you can see with your own eyes (if you're fast enough).

Pinkie, perhaps you, in your zeal, managed to pry open the lid of a box which is not ready for public consumption. Revelations of this order will require the steady drumbeat of the usual suspects: CBS, the NYT, and other bastions of complete, utter, and detestable collectivist lying unbiased reporting so that the proles will accept them instead of thinking that they'll first be expected to pay for them and then might not like what's going to be done to them.

But then by that time the people, stupefied by American education and with the attention span of a gnat, will merely cower in the corner whimpering, looking at their masters, when they are not instructed to yap and bark and reactionaries.

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:
http://www.change.gov/agenda/service/

Green Job Corps: Obama and Biden will create an energy-focused youth jobs program to provide disadvantaged youth with service opportunities weatherizing buildings

Where I live, Mexican immigrants do this work because "disadvantaged yout" are too busy blasting the car stereos in their Escalades to be bothered.

Social Investment Fund Network: Obama and Biden will create a Social Investment Fund Network to use federal seed money to leverage private sector funding to improve local innovation, test the impact of new ideas and expand successful programs to scale.

Pinkie, I agree, there is no way to decode this sentence into any intelligible English. The best approximation I can come up with is that they intend to treble the amount they give to ACORN.

I think that that last paragraph can reasonably be translated to

"We intend to take your money and give it to placemen in government who will spend your money and tell you what to do and be loyal to us."

Which can be further distilled into,

"We gonna fuck you with your money."

Sounds... disgusting....

And painful.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I think that that last paragraph can reasonably be translated to

"We intend to take your money and give it to placemen in government who will spend your money and tell you what to do and be loyal to us."

Which can be further distilled into,

"We gonna fuck you with your money."

That was my take on the O-translator:

Obama wrote:Социальная сеть инвестиционного фонда: Obama и Biden создадутсоциальную сеть инвестиционного фонда для использования федеральныхначальных инвестиции leverage финансирование частного сектора для тогочтобы улучшить местное рационализаторство, испытать удар новых идей ирасширить успешные программы к маштабу.

Pul, if you'd written that in French or Latin I'd have had a chance in translating it, but in Russian...no way.

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away!

Agenda disappears from Obama Web site

Dr. Strangelove wrote:The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away!

Agenda disappears from Obama Web site

It is a shame that they have removed the Little Red Book of Obama-Biden. It contains such music for the hearts of those who toil to free the oppressed masses.
<br>For example, why would anyone want to hide a plan like Universal Government Infant Education, starting at age zero.

I do have a downloaded copy of Obama's Little Red Book and a link to a pdf of it for those who wish to know the wondrous things that our Fearless Leader has planned for us. However, those who enjoy a Marxist surprise, I would suggest you wait until May Day, or at least Obamass, by when much of it will become apparent.

Dr. Nyet, I have a thought. Perhaps the Chosen One has, in His infinite wisdom, decreed that the plan will not be needed insofar as specifics go. For He has decreed that efficiency in government will be the key.

Zero-to-five child care is part of womb-to-tomb strong socialism. Why waste time with programs when it's just more efficient to take everything, money, rights, freedoms, and give them out to people who prove that they deserve them?

Commisar Theocritus,

I had not truly stopped to think that the revolution could have progressed to such a stage of maturity so quickly, even with such a Fearless Leader as ours.

But the document does have many other wonderful surprises. I mean, many might consider it a surprise that nearly ever program he mentions in his agenda will have it's budget doubled. I hail and welcome his new math that will make these things possible!

I do suppose that the masses have little need for the specifics of change. So long as they love, cherish, and worship The One; and follow him without question. Only by following without question can the the masses truly be free!

Thank you for that re-education, Comrade.

Has anyone found a comrade who might have managed to preserve the list of People's Progressive Projects before it mysteriouysly disappeared? Something as glorious as this deserves to be archived forever.

Betinov, I think that if you talk nicely to Dr. Nyet he might post his .pdf file which he mimeswiped before it disappeared.

Da!
I do indeed have a copy of this agenda in Party Directive Format (pdf) that I downloaded from a forward thinking comrade who wished to preserve that present truth for all time.

He posted it at https://files.filefront.com/Change+Agen ... einfo.html

I printed out a copy and keep it on my nightstand next to a bottle of vodka and my Makarov.

You got a Makarov? All I got was a pair of Nagant pistols. They are underpowered, but at least they're inaccurate.

Da! And an SKS for under the bed.

Being a would-be world conqueror in addition to a revolutionary Marxist is a dangerous business.

I personally fear the pick-axe to the brain. But then that's only for the short term. I shall soon have completed my transition to the Perfect Prole for the Progressive World of Next Tuesday, when I shall have totally abandoned thinking, surrendering to resentment and anger.

Like a good progressive.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Pul, if you'd written that in French or Latin I'd have had a chance in translating it, but in Russian...no way.

Obviously, it is roborussian.

Interestingly enough, Obama's speeches, quotes, and policies easily flow in and out of Russian.

I am ready to talk back all of the bad things I whispered about Obama in the bath room with the water running and radio turned up--He IS a real communist.

Ooops! Did I say that with my outside voice?

Let us merely call him the Frest Prince of Bill Ayers. The first man who bombed the Pentagon.