The People's Cube - Political Satire

On Friday, 16 May 2008, the brand spanking new Airbus 340-600, one of the largest passenger airplanes ever built at the time, sat in its hangar in Toulouse, France without a single hour of airtime.

Enter the Arab flight crew of Abu Dhabi Aircraft Technologies (ADAT) to conduct pre-delivery tests on the ground, such as engine runups, prior to delivery to Etihad Airways in Abu Dhabi. The ADAT crew taxied the A340-600 to the run-up area. Then they took all 4 engines to takeoff power with a virtually empty aircraft. Not having read the run-up manuals, they had no clue just how light an empty A340-600 really is.

The takeoff warning horn was blaring away in the cockpit because they had all 4 engines at full power. The aircraft computers thought they were trying to take off but the aircraft had not been configured properly (flaps/slats, etc.). Then one of the ADAT crew decided to pull the circuit breaker on the Ground Proximity Sensor to silence the alarm. This fools the aircraft into thinking it is in the air. The computers automatically released all the Brakes and set the aircraft rocketing forward. The ADAT crew had no idea that this is a safety feature so that pilots can't land with the brakes on. Not one member of the seven-man Arab crew was smart enough to throttle back the engines from their max power setting, so the $200 million brand-new Aircraft crashed into a blast barrier, totaling it.

The extent of injuries to the crew is unknown, for there has been a news blackout in the major media in France and elsewhere. Coverage of the story was deemed insulting to Muslim Arabs. Finally, the photos are starting to leak out.

Airbus $200 million aircraft meets retaining wall and the wall wins...





Ushanka tip to the People's Cube avid correspondent Ethel Rosenberg.

A modern-day morality tale illustrative of the Left trying to control the economy.

<blockquote>Airbus $200 million aircraft meets retaining wall and the wall wins...</blockquote>
"I fought the wall and the wall won..."

$.$. Halliburton wrote:A modern-day morality tale illustrative of the Left trying to control the economy.

LOL... Ahem.. To Detroit with you and your bigoted bourgeois morals!

ZMDAVID wrote:"I fought the wall and the wall won..."

On the other hand...
- Reagan fought the Wall and the Wall lost...
- Pink Floyd recorded the Wall and Pink Floyd lost...

Which Ethel Rosenberg, Red... we have several...

French... Muslim... It was asking for trouble.

Of course this would be offensive to Muslim sensibilities. For Allah controls everything decisively even unto the electrons, and so this was Allah's will. Therefore this was meant to prove the impossibility of manned flight.

I wonder how long it will take the French government to pay the company for the loss of the jet....

For some reason this reminds me of that minor incident 7 years ago involving brave muslims, airplanes, and running into things. If I remember correctly, large buildings became temporarily highly magnetic (probably global warming). Realizing what was happening before anyone else, several brave muslism men on planes entered their pilots' cabins attempting to explain to the captains what was happening. When the pilots realized that the planes were probably going to crash due to the magnetism, they cowardly comitted suicide with some handy knives the muslims were kind enough to bring. Then the muslims attempted to steer the planes away from the magnetic forces, but they were too strong. So they bravely hunkered down at the front the plane, hoping their bodies might absorb enough of the impact that some behind them might survive. The planes struck the tallest (and thus, most magnetic) buildings around at the time - the WTC. It was a true tragedy - I can't remember a time when so many innocent young muslim men lost their lives.

Perhaps this is another spontaneous act of temporary large structure extreme magnetism.

Seems perfectly logical to me. I have no reason to doubt that sound, and completely logical reasoning.

Comrades,

Let us view this as an attempt to trascend barriers. As noted or implied in another thread, community-organized-and-daily-reality-of-capitalist-exploitation-mural-painted Walls are Unity. Now people on both sides of the wall have an airplane to enjoy. It does not matter whether it flies. What matters is an airplane has been provided, more equally than before.

Kudos to those who gave the pilots a chance. Sure, they may have lacked finesse, but orthodox "virtues" such as common sense, training, and experience should not be barriers to their aspirations as long as they were willing to try really hard. If there are any survivors, I hope their self-esteem is unharmed, otherwise this could be bad for the airline.

Red Square wrote:

$.$. Halliburton wrote:A modern-day morality tale illustrative of the Left trying to control the economy.

LOL... Ahem.. To Detroit with you and your bigoted bourgeois morals!

ZMDAVID wrote:"I fought the wall and the wall won..."

On the other hand...
- Reagan fought the Wall and the Wall lost...
- Pink Floyd recorded the Wall and Pink Floyd lost...

My Glorious Incarnadine Trapezoid Leader,

I beg to differ regarding Pink Floyd, Sir. Pink Floyd inspires my kitchen proles to work much harder for the People,and it covers the moaning and complaining so that my "old" ears can't hear them, LOL. Which is a good thing, since I am killing losing workers due to my constant demands to get this PurgeInaugural Party done to Commissar Theocritis' wants. Just between you and me, is he always like this when he hosts his endless social gatherings? I have worked with some very demanding clients and prissy, vain-glorious Chefs in my time, but he takes the cake! Gracias, for letting me vent my frustration, and BTW who is in charge of doling out the happy pills? I could sure use some.

your very tired Chef,

Che' Gourmet


Imagine if the contract for the Port Security (pushed by Slick Willy) had been approved. They would be ramming tankers into walls etc.

Too long, my friends, has this hidden commodity been hoarded by the Party. This incident of the aeroplane shows that finally we have broken free of another error of private property. Now, at last, the Redistribution of Incompetence!

No longer the preserve of teachers near our military bases such as this master of diplomacy and the English language , blatant incompetence at one's job is finally openly celebrated.

I thank our French allies for once again leading the charge into Incompetence Redistribution!

KR

Red Kitty wrote: Now, at last, the Redistribution of Incompetence!

Red Kitty, is this a side line to dropping rifles? Or is dropping rifles merely an instance of the Redistribution of Incompetence?

Ché, my lord, man, all this moaning and whining about a few simple requests. You don't know from demanding. Ask Bruno about what I'm like when I'm demanding. All I want is <i>Popes Noses of Bald Eagles en brochette</i> for the Inaugural purge. That's <i>all</i>. You'd think that I was asking for the impossible, like a Democratic Convention when most of the attendees didn't walk the checks and stiff the waiters.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:

Red Kitty wrote: Now, at last, the Redistribution of Incompetence!

Red Kitty, is this a side line to dropping rifles? Or is dropping rifles merely an instance of the Redistribution of Incompetence?

Leave it to the stupid French to build the runway sideways. Le fools.

Bubba, that is just what's left of the Maginot line.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:

Red Kitty wrote: Now, at last, the Redistribution of Incompetence!

Red Kitty, is this a side line to dropping rifles? Or is dropping rifles merely an instance of the Redistribution of Incompetence?

Ché, my lord, man, all this moaning and whining about a few simple requests. You don't know from demanding. Ask Bruno about what I'm like when I'm demanding. All I want is <i>Popes Noses of Bald Eagles en brochette</i> for the Inaugural purge. That's <i>all</i>. You'd think that I was asking for the impossible, like a Democratic Convention when most of the attendees didn't walk the checks and stiff the waiters.

Ahh...Hello there Commissar Theocritis,

Was I ranting uncontrollably, Sir?? I did not realize it myself! I do beg your humble pardons, Sir.

It's just that the PHK is at a fevor pitch now, and I'm ready to line up the staff and shoot them for their stupidity. Can't even boil water right! They are complaining about eating beets and potatoes (an I even added a few entrails of some of the foolhardy ones to their gruel); they are under the mistaken impression that they no longer have to work because the Obamessiah has been elected. Is there something I could add to the gruel to increase their output? If not, I may need to do a purge of my own. But I don't want to because then I would have to train a new bunch, and I really don't have time.

What's this Kevlar stuff? You said you were enarmored of my panache, Si? I am a bit high-strung as a Chef of any renoun would be, but excuse me if I offended your sensibilities. It wasn't intentional. As for your Proboscis of BaldEagle how about Stilo el Arrecife sauce, or better yet, a mole?

get on with it prole....kicks in butt

Che' Gourmet

Mole? The one with chocolate and peppers and cinnamon? I like it on chicken and have thought about it on the Popes Noses of Bald Eagle sauce.

As to the Arricife sauce--I do like cascabel peppers. But what do you think? The popes noses might be a big, er, gamy you know, considering that the bald eagle is a wild bird. Do you think that the cascabels are enough to overpower the gaminess or would the chocolate mole do a better job? But we do not want to lose the popes noses, you know. After this dinner, there will <i>be</i> no more popes noses of bald eagle because there will be no more bald eagles.

Even on the currency where the eagle will be replaced by the smiling visage of his O'liness.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Mole? The one with chocolate and peppers and cinnamon? I like it on chicken and have thought about it on the Popes Noses of Bald Eagle sauce.

As to the Arricife sauce--I do like cascabel peppers. But what do you think? The popes noses might be a big, er, gamy you know, considering that the bald eagle is a wild bird. Do you think that the cascabels are enough to overpower the gaminess or would the chocolate mole do a better job? But we do not want to lose the popes noses, you know. After this dinner, there will <i>be</i> no more popes noses of bald eagle because there will be no more bald eagles.

Even on the currency where the eagle will be replaced by the smiling visage of his O'liness.

My Dear Commissar Theocritis,

I suggested Mole because of the theme for the Party (Do we have a theme?). Sorry, just tired.....and don't acuse me of thinking, as I'm running on empty about now and I haven't a coherent thought in my head. BTW - about the music - Are the Derailers still around? A little honky tonk would really liven things up, Si? As far as your pristine white clothes, don'[t you have a bevy of servants at your disposal to clean your party duds, or just stealbuy new ones. The food deserves passion, Oh splendiferous one!

Need to get back in the fray now, so Adios Amigo,

Che' Gourmet

Che, yes I do have a bevy of servants but unfortunately they are Progressive Proles and therefore have part of their intestines in their brains.

Yes, several of our Progressive Brethren of the Sand were stopped by the French.

Wouldn't Marshall Petain be proud?

I'm surprised the French crash barrier didn't capitulate...

Sister, it was already face-down on the ground.

Hmmmm....are we starting a Snopes Hoax here?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7098547.stm
<br>http://www.spiegel.de/international/eur ... 72,00.html

This happened a year ago.

The basic premise could still be correct. One report has no Etihad employees onboard, the other has seven.

Yo, Dawg.

No way, Arabs practice flying into solid object? Way, G.

Come to think of it, they were on the ground. I thought they didn't fly into objects on the ground. They don't want to land, remember?

But the flight instructors who didn't get that are utterly brain dead. And wasn't it Jamie Gorelick who set up the wall which didn't allow the government to coordinate this information?

Ah. She's <i>back</i>.

Comrades,

Earlier in this thread a comrade, possibly overindulging in Stoli, said something about (un)qualified pilots. Comrades, what are tests and credentials but capitalist constructs to keep the common man down, out, and exploited. I exist. Fly a plane? Yes, I can!

Although I loathe pointing out positive aspects of Amerikkkan (KKK decapitalized following election of The One), clearly the socialist French state is lacking in a uniquely American point: lawyers. Had this happened in the US, the pilots would be suitably reimbursed for their pain and suffering, the wall's financiers punished for not building it further away yet building it too tough to give way when necessary; the aircraft manufacturer sued for building a defective plane; and all managers sued for making workers work for 40 hours a week, far beyond union guidelines, thereby contributing to worker fatigue and the inevitable end results of parts failure and hurt consumers.

If anyone can "spread the wealth around," it is lawyers, comrades. Remember that come the show trials.

Yes, Tovarich, I forgot that. And how? Just now I have seen lawyers advertising for lawsuits for people who have used heparin--a horrible drug, for it stops infection. After all, if people could use modern technology to live then lawyers would have nothing to live off of.

Just think. Lawyers = maggots.

*squish* *squish*

Red Square wrote:

$.$. Halliburton wrote:A modern-day morality tale illustrative of the Left trying to control the economy.

LOL... Ahem.. To Detroit with you and your bigoted bourgeois morals!

ZMDAVID wrote:"I fought the wall and the wall won..."

On the other hand...
- Reagan fought the Wall and the Wall lost...
- Pink Floyd recorded the Wall and Pink Floyd lost...

umm...that was a Roger Waters project (legal issues over credits to Young Lust, music written by David Gilmour, caused PF breakup). Waters, the Pig, wanted ALL credit for the project, as I recall. He's the lone nutjob of the group (aside from Syd Barrett).

I never did manage to listen to Pink Floyd on the few times that I had acid...

One of my regrets.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I never did manage to listen to Pink Floyd on the few times that I had acid...

One of my regrets.

One of my favorite bands, twisted or straight
Simply awesome, timeless imo...sister???

Red Square wrote:

$.$. Halliburton wrote:A modern-day morality tale illustrative of the Left trying to control the economy.

LOL... Ahem.. To Detroit with you and your bigoted bourgeois morals!

ZMDAVID wrote:"I fought the wall and the wall won..."

On the other hand...
- Reagan fought the Wall and the Wall lost...
- Pink Floyd recorded the Wall and Pink Floyd lost...

lol maybe the crew Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun

heheh...uh ouch ...hehe my side hurts

Their Umma got Gumma while several species of small furry jihadis gathered in a cave and grooved with Obama and Osama.
And after all, taking off and landing are not important, hijacking and flying into buildings are.

Comrades,

A reactionary joke told me by a former lawyer:

Q: How are lawyers like sperm?
A: They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming human beings.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I never did manage to listen to Pink Floyd on the few times that I had acid...

One of my regrets.

Comrade Commissar Theocritus,

Your admission of past chemical consciousness expansion can only burnish your progressive credentials in my proletarian eyes. Tim Leary has smiled. I share the same lack of above experience but not the regrets.

I made it to college before listening to Led Zeppelin. The popularity of Pink Floyd is somewhat lost on me. I can enjoy certain songs but never enough to part with money for them. It is strange. But then, the Butthole Surfers' Hairway to Steven is somewhat similar regarding mind-blowing psychedelia (and adds some moral offense).

Acid (citric, in case the DEA is reading) was too distracting for music enhancement, but for enjoying snowfall at night, ah, that is something I might even recommend. If, as per Messr. Hendrix, you have ever been experienced--"not necessarily stoned, but, beautiful."

Hey, that song wasn't written as a foretelling of Barack Obama, was it? I think I can feel a People's Karaoke coming on.

Comrades, I lead these days a disgustingly legal life. No drugs, no DWI, no liquor, bills paid, pillar of the community, except of course when Bruno has a play date with Harvey the Pooka, and then tongues wag.

I keep up the end by regularly beating my proles, and doing the odd impalement of reactionaries but only at the prescribed time of day and in the best possible taste.

Comrade_Tovarich wrote:

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I never did manage to listen to Pink Floyd on the few times that I had acid...

One of my regrets.

Hey, that song wasn't written as a foretelling of Barack Obama, was it? I think I can feel a People's Karaoke coming on.

Yo, G!

Ya get same cheap buzz by listening to My-Man-G-The-One's convention speech while watching the PF Wall movie, or the stock-ticker.

His boy, O'Biden, is coming out with a same thing for recovering alcoholics; it has his rants and gaffs all looped together--be like listening to a bunch of old drunk crackers rappin in the local bar.

Yes, O'Biden will be sure to release it as long as (1) he didn't say it first and (2) it's wrong.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I keep up the end by regularly beating my proles, and doing the odd impalement of reactionaries but only at the prescribed time of day and in the best possible taste.

Comrade Commissar Theocritus,

The laws in your area are remarkably progressive! Before impalement, do said reactionaries first offer up their capitalist exploitation units as an offering to Lenin for allowing them to make the ultimate sacrifice to the state?

Actually they ran screaming like little girls, or like little queens toward a Babs concert, which made catching them for impalement all the more necessary, the better to protect our hearing.

We wonders, we does...did the crew scream "Allahu Akhbar!" as they hit the wall? Just curious.

The boys (no sexist slur intended) clearly screwed the pooch here. However, even a cursory glance beneath the surface reveals the real culprit: BUSH!

Of course Bush is the culprit. He caused the wreck at Tenerife, and also Krakatoa.