The People's Cube - Political Satire

**12/6/2008, 1:28 am**

Progress!

Chicago Tribune wrote: Milwaukee neighborhoods could print own money2 neighborhoods consider printing own currency for exclusive use in local stores

By Erika Slife
|

Tribune reporter

December 3, 2008

They may be talking funny money, but it's not funny business.

Residents from the Milwaukee neighborhoods of Riverwest and East Side are scheduled to meet Wednesday to discuss printing their own money. The idea is that the local cash could be used at neighborhood stores and businesses, thus encouraging local spending. The result, supporters hope, would be a bustling local economy, even as the rest of the nation deals with a recession.

"You have all these people who have local currency, and they're going to spend it at local stores," said Sura Faraj, a community organizer who is helping spearhead the plan. "They can't spend it at the Wal-Mart or the Home Depot, but they can spend it at their local hardware store or their local grocery store."

Incentives could be used to entice consumers into using the new money. For example, perhaps they could trade $100 U.S. for $110 local, essentially netting them a 10 percent discount at participating stores.

https://www.chicagotribune.com/business/chi-talk_moneydec03,0,2902061.story

Yeah! We'll close down the local Wal-Mart and Home Depot (corporate whores!) by printing our own money that cannot be spent at any corporate retailer -- except for Starbucks, naturally. We'll even provide incentives to get the locals to make purchases elsewhere with out new currency!

Useless Idiot: But wouldn't Wal-Mart or Home Depots closing down hurt the local economy? Don't they provide a lot of jobs?

Useful Idiots: SHUT THE HELL UP! They're evil corporations and must be destroyed!

**12/6/2008, 3:31 am**

Yay! That means spending more time waiting in lines for the government to exchange our monies!

We already did that in high school. We created our own country where the national currency was plastic spoons. The exchange rate was $200 per spoon. We were rich, but then no one wanted to cash in on all our business opportunities. Apparently they don't see poodle farms as a legitimate business.

**12/6/2008, 9:27 am**

What a marvelous idea. Comrades, a rousing chorus of, Kumbuy Ya, is in order. Then a free beet for all. Yes, and then we can give the salvation army lady our new monies. What a glorious world of next Tuesday we all live in.

**12/6/2008, 9:29 am**

Chairman Meow:

On a different subject was it not you that proposed pay toilets in your chain of Colonic clinics?

Were you not afraid it would get very messy, telling customers to pay or go to the gas station on the corner?

**12/6/2008, 11:29 am**

But with what standard?
Ever since the evil Nixon took the USA dollar of the gold standard in 1973 these worthless Federal Reserve Notes are depreciating more and more....I say we back our new currency with the Chairmen's Hummel collection.

**12/6/2008, 8:18 pm**

Comrades,

I prefer to think of the Wal*Mart and Home Depot as being "community organized." Do you recall when Argentina's economy crashed (the most recent time) and people went about banging pots and pans in protest? It just takes a little imagination and closed eyes to turn that noise into the sound of people power turning out products we really need, like solar powered vibrators (for back pain, according to Japanese catalog ads).

**12/6/2008, 8:22 pm**

Comrades,

Is there not a possibility this plan will backfire? Currently suffering from financial Stockholm Syndrome and loving money, will they not come to love funny money instead and thus be kept from the true enlightenment of Marxism-Leninsm-Maoism-Red Negusism?

**12/7/2008, 8:34 pm**

I offer templates so we may get started right away with the printing.

**12/7/2008, 9:10 pm**

We already did that in high school. We created our own country where the national currency was plastic spoons. The exchange rate was $200 per spoon. We were rich, but then no one wanted to cash in on all our business opportunities. Apparently they don't see poodle farms as a legitimate business.

Ah yes. Brings back memories. Our High School country was called Slogmonia and the primary currency was the Dujji. Unfortunately for the Slogmonians, the Great Western Ally to the North failed to renew the mutual non-aggression pact in 1992 and subsequently allied with the Chuckalonians. With a complicit GWATTN on the northern frontier, Slogmonia was quickly over-run by the Chuckalonians, eager to acquire a warm-water port and access to our kelp beds. Tragically, the Dujji is no more, having been replaced with the Chuckalonian Parth.

That in itself is bad enough, but even worse is the Chuckalonian desire to forcibly assimilate us into their culture. Many statues have been torn down or defaced, such as that of our former king, Orlon, Son of Nylon, Son of Dacron. And what they have done to the portraits of the Queen Mother, Polyester, does not bear repeating.

**12/7/2008, 10:23 pm**

Such sad times your country went through. I think the only big event that happened in the history of the Republic of Sock was when there was coup by the President and he turned the country into an empire. Sort of like in Star Wars. Then the country went on an annexing spree and claimed half the school as it's land. Then the Emperor got bored and the country went back to a republic. Then we continued to harass the people of New New Orleans with large amounts of water from old water bottles.

**12/8/2008, 10:47 am**

I see the People's Education included many many bouts of Risk for my fellow comrades. I, alas, am too old to have been educated under such a progressive system where I could learn about the evils of capitalism via plastic spoon currency.

I believe Ithaca New York about ten years ago tried such a similar move when proto-evil Wegmans supermarket moved in. Ithaca bucks, they were called. It did not go well as the local *banks* refused to accept the money from businesses and many businesses with gratuities also suffered--waiters and waitresses (as they were SO unprogressively called back then) preferred, for some strange reason, to be tipped in US currency.

I have no idea what currency was preferred by local Street Pharmeceutical Entrepreneurs.

KR

**12/8/2008, 4:26 pm**

KittyRed wrote: I have no idea what currency was preferred by local Street Pharmeceutical Entrepreneurs.

Blowjobs.

**12/8/2008, 11:07 pm**

If they do decide to make their own currency, perhaps they could call it the Cheese Ruble?

And yes, that evil Wegmans is evil capitalist place, I know some who early await it opening in Fredericksburg. How such a capitalist place could come from the People's Republic of NY State is beyond me. Obviously Danny Wegman should report for re-education.

You know, things are different now than when the resistance failed in Ithaca. Now the government owns the banks.

We should FORCE the bank to recognize the new , more fair currency. The bank must accept any random slips of paper as currency, perhaps giving some type of value also for pocket lint and paper scraps.

**12/9/2008, 12:23 am**

Premier Betty wrote:
KittyRed wrote: I have no idea what currency was preferred by local Street Pharmeceutical Entrepreneurs.

Blowjobs.

I nominate Premier Betty to be the Direktor of Monetary Exchange.
Bring your useless dollars to be converted to BJs!

Thank you Betty for your tireless service to the collective.

**12/9/2008, 2:07 am**

I don't think I want to be in charge of that department....

**12/9/2008, 2:23 am**

Dr. Nyet wrote:If they do decide to make their own currency, perhaps they could call it the Cheese Ruble?

Comrade Doktor,

I believe you are confusing them with The Peoples Cheese Cubes, which are currently on offer in the Party Commissary, for putting together on platters with other comestibles as tasty treats for enjoyment at seasonal get-togethers... They are on special with The Peoples Crackers when traded for The People's ration coupons. Remember - only one cube and cracker per individual! Wednesday there is an extra special while supplies last, for The Peoples gherkins... one per individual, no rain checks... I believe there are 8 or 9 in stock so don't be late on Wednesday... I'm sure the line will be long as it is also sock day... remember - only one per individual!

Perhaps you are thinking of TPC's... The Peoples Currency.

Sis

**12/9/2008, 2:33 am**

Premier Betty wrote:Such sad times your country went through. I think the only big event that happened in the history of the Republic of Sock was when there was coup by the President and he turned the country into an empire. Sort of like in Star Wars. Then the country went on an annexing spree and claimed half the school as it's land. Then the Emperor got bored and the country went back to a republic. Then we continued to harass the people of New New Orleans with large amounts of water from old water bottles.

Betty,

I think you are forgetting not only the finding of the sock, but it's official raising, no?.. Where those not big events, as the Republik of Sock went? Also, I'm sure that the inception and launching of the Republik of Sock's own domain name extension was also noteworthy... first the debate (best two out of three games of Doom) to decide which would best reflect the Republik's image... .rsk or .sk, and then the launch of the .sk top level domain name itself! And the first domain registered... I believe it was https://www.you.sk if I remember correctly... it was a heady time...

SMO

**12/10/2008, 1:01 am**

Ahh, yes. I remember when we found the old sock sitting under some bushes. Then it was magnificently thrown on top of the bushes where it landed at the highest peak of the largest bush. 'Twas at that moment that we realized hat it was time for change. A kind of change from the carefully run dictatorships of the world to a carelessly run dictatorship where the fear of a people's revolution was virtually nonexistent. Because all the other citizens were usually killed. Not our fault though. I believe it was in the execution of the flooding rescue plan. Having people ride around in boats yelling "LEARN TO SWIM!" through bullhorns didn't seem to be as effective as originally anticipated.

**12/11/2008, 12:49 am**

Laika the Space Dog wrote:But with what standard?
Ever since the evil Nixon took the USA dollar of the gold standard in 1973 these worthless Federal Reserve Notes are depreciating more and more....I say we back our new currency with the Chairmen's Hummel collection.

A wonderful idea in principle, however, the Hummel is quite fragile as the Chairman has come to discover on so many occasions. On the other paw, I am firmly supportive of this as it happens, I have managed to accrue quite a collection of Hummels since I have been in the collective.... from donations etc. Then again, have you considered guest soaps as backup?

The People's Cube - Political Satire

Print Your Own Money, Defeat Wal-Mart!