The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades! You simply would not believe what I faced this morning as I stepped out of my dacha! Global warming run amuk! Amuk I say! In my 53 years I have never seen so much of this strange white substance. Every 10 years we are struck by this strange substance, but never have I seen it so deep and last so long as I have this year. Mind you, I live right outside Baton Rouge, LA, and there was a similar scene in New Orleans. In fact, I suspect Commissar Theocritus is behind this, as revenge for his imagined assault by Talent Shitting birds sent by me.

This is the scene of devastation, a catastrophe that shut down roads, deprived children of school time, and of course gave me a wonderful excuse to not show up for the dreaded 4 letter word.



This is my backyard view, complete with a tree still downed from Hurricane Gustav


It almost reminds me of my Moscow front days.....oh the Motherland!

I did however manage to finally escape to my Coffee House Headquarters to evaluate my defense strategy....



I am so in shock still.... would someone wave some cash under my nose?

GLORIOUS!

It is the "Gore" Effect of The One! He has already begun redistributing the weather!

We're all saved!

Yo G!

Chill, dat be plum ash fum Commissar Deocritus' latest steak 'n' barbecue.

So's we still need t'push de proles and punish capitalists fo' global warmin'.

(Comrads, Relax, it is just ash from Commissar Theocritus' latest steak 'n' barbecue. So we still need to push the proles and punish capitalists for global warming.)

Ah, this is what makes the AGW menace so frightening... when the weather gets warmer, that is evidence of global warming. When the weather gets colder, that is ALSO evidence of global warming. If the weather stayed the same, THAT would also be evidence of global warming! So what would NOT be evidence of global warming, that is, what could happen to suggest that global warming is NOT occuring???? The answer is.... NOTHING! Because whatever happens, there is still global warming! Isn't science wonderful?

Propeitior Vornoff wrote:GLORIOUS!

It is the "Gore" Effect of The One! He has already begun redistributing the weather!

We're all saved!

After getting over my natural fear of such events, having only seen snow about 4 or 5 times in my life, I came to realize that this is merely sign the Obama is fulfilling his promise to stop the ocean's rising. What a man! Still has not taken the oath yet and already global warming is being reversed! How foolish we were to doubt! Yet somehow the Farmer's Almanac seems to be right on in their prediction. They must have foreseen the rise of the Obama.

Seriously, this is reported to be the 3rd heaviest snow ever recorded in my area, the heaviest in my 53 years. It is also the earliest snow has made an appearance.

Cradle to Grave Marxist wrote:Comrads,

Relax, it is just ash from Commissar Theocritus' latest steak 'n' barbecue.

So we still need to push the proles and punish capitalists for global warming.

After that unfortunate accusation concerning me from the Commissar, I too had to wonder if he was behind this.... The investigation continues.

Where is Al Gore during this crisis? Hiding in his 20,000 square foot mansion?

Bush won't stop till LA is wiped off the map. Pupovich, you have no choice now but to stop any and all gay pride parades in LA! It is the only way Bush will stop unleashing his weather machine on you! It is the only way now!! The only way!! Good Stalin, man! You must put an end to this madness!

There's a drought going on in California right now.

BUSH'S FAULT!!!

Marshal Pupovich wrote:

Propeitior Vornoff wrote:GLORIOUS!

It is the "Gore" Effect of The One! He has already begun redistributing the weather!

We're all saved!

After getting over my natural fear of such events, having only seen snow about 4 or 5 times in my life, I came to realize that this is merely sign the Obama is fulfilling his promise to stop the ocean's rising. What a man! Still has not taken the oath yet and already global warming is being reversed! How foolish we were to doubt! Yet somehow the Farmer's Almanac seems to be right on in their prediction. They must have foreseen the rise of the Obama.

Seriously, this is reported to be the 3rd heaviest snow ever recorded in my area, the heaviest in my 53 years. It is also the earliest snow has made an appearance.

Brrr.....Good Morning Marshal Pupovitch

This is hilarious Pup! You have what is known as Chionophobia or the fear of snow! I find it hard to believe that a soldier of the Revolution has not encountered snow while on duty. What's the stink? No galoshes? What do you think your jackboots are for comrade? We get snow every f*#%ing day up here at the NY Gulag. Perhaps you should come up for a visit, Marshal? I'm sure there is a cure for your sad .....ahem... affliction....LOL

making snow angels in the PHK's garden,
Che' Gourmet

Comrades,

So shocked was I by this reactionary climate change that I involuntary localized global warming in the vicinity of my lap, but it's cooling so quickly that I am becoming uncomfortable and thus must stop here.

Comrades,

Record cold last month in NC. Maybe conspiracy against the South? If you can't beat em, freeze em.

All of you have it wrong! (Except for Pupovich.) Obama has done this! He has reversed Global Warming as surely as he has made the oceans recede!

As for Al Gore's role in all of this, do keep in mind that he was naught but the Prophet, the one who came down from above and warned us, as all competent prophets do, of what would happen to the planet if we didn't start thinking about sitting down together (in some place like Bali) to talk about what steps we should take to resolve the formation of a plan to address the dire consequences of Global Warming NOW!

Well, we did do all that, Comrades. We listened to the Goracle, and on November 4th, we implemented the solution by electing Barack Obama as Our Dearest Leader.

And lo! And behold! Has the planet already not begun to cool down?

All of you Deniers will be purged for laughing and scoffing!

All of you, believe! Believe! Believe that Obama is The One True One! Fall on your knees and repent now by emptying your pockets!

Chairman M. S. Punchenko wrote:Bush won't stop till LA is wiped off the map. Pupovich, you have no choice now but to stop any and all gay pride parades in LA! It is the only way Bush will stop unleashing his weather machine on you! It is the only way now!! The only way!! Good Stalin, man! You must put an end to this madness!

Great Stalin's Ghost! You may be right Honored Chairman! This comes on the heels of our most progressive attempt to redistribute the labor force on the pointed heels of our Call in Gay Day. However, it would seem odd that the more progressive New Orleans area was hit with less snow than more backward areas of the state. But you are right as usual! Sure, this may be the end of the Bush regime, but he still controls the weather machines that gave us Hurricane Katrina and Gustav. When will the madness end??

Che Gourmet wrote:This is hilarious Pup! You have what is known as Chionophobia or the fear of snow! I find it hard to believe that a soldier of the Revolution has not encountered snow while on duty. What's the stink? No galoshes? What do you think your jackboots are for comrade? We get snow every f*#%ing day up here at the NY Gulag. Perhaps you should come up for a visit, Marshal? I'm sure there is a cure for your sad .....ahem... affliction....LOL

Well of course it is frightening to us down here in the southern collective. Why, we have no snow tires, snow plows, or readily available road salting operations. I had to laugh this morning when I heard of a local girl who got out to make snow angels... but no doubt from lack of experience, tried to do this face down on the ground! LOL

I stopped at a store last night, and the young lady at the checkout related that this was only her second time to see snow in her life, so as you can see, it is a wonder to us.


Truthfully comrades, last night I went out the back to see the scene once again, and tears actually came from this old pup as I thanked God for allowing me to see such a beauty for perhaps my last time. When you are used to only seeing them once every 10 years.... yesterday was special. Think on that my yankee comrades as you curse shoveling out! LOL

Commissarka Pinkie wrote:All of you have it wrong! (Except for Pupovich.) Obama has done this! He has reversed Global Warming as surely as he has made the oceans recede!

Amen Commissarka! It amazes me that the Farmer's Almanac predicted this cold winter, thus the victory of Obama, long before even CNN did.

Comrade Pupovich, was that snow tinted "Yellow" Now now Pupovich writing your name in the snow......

How does one make r(R)ed snow, as in precipitation, not FARC-produced and possible P-E-endorsed cocaine?

Comrade Pupovich,

On the way to the Coffee House, did you play Styx' "Snow Blind" on your iPaw?

Red Star wrote:Comrade Pupovich, was that snow tinted "Yellow" Now now Pupovich writing your name in the snow......

What? That is not gold snow?

Comrade_Tovarich wrote:Comrade Pupovich,

On the way to the Coffee House, did you play Styx' "Snow Blind" on your iPaw?

No, I was playing Comfortably Numb....

Relax comrade, snow is merely "Global Warming" by "other means".

No, I was playing Comfortably Numb....

What?
No "Snowblind Friend" from Steppenpup?

Back in the days of "The Next Ice Age" when Laika learned to drive, we used to have studded tires. Now they're illegal in The Land of Bitter Clingers. I get pissed when all these whippersnappers under thirty years of age try to drive in a mere 2-3 inches of snow. They drive like 90 year old ladies and fuck up and either wreck or end up in a ditch.
The winters of '77-'78 and '78-'79 were just like Siberia. In January of 1978, the temps never got above 20 degrees and stayed mostly around zero for the whole month. It snowed a foot every night. Every day dig and shovel. The sidewalks looked like trenches. The Mighty Ohio froze over and the Coast Guard had to send ice breakers so the coal fired power plants could supply electricity. We had to ration electricity and school was cut down to 5 hours a day and the thermostat was set on a government mandated 58 degrees in all public buildings.

Che Gourmet!
Does NY State still allow studded tires?

Poor Pup...one of the best things about learning to drive in the snow was doing "donuts" in parking lots.....just like turfing after a Nascar win.

Remember now, "Global Warming" is now "Climate Change We Can Believe In".

The Rev. L. Space Dogged
The Reformed Church of Climatology AKA "The Goremons".

Actually, I am not completely inexperienced in the driving donuts school of driving. I attended grad school in Nacogdoches Tex. and while I only recall a few snows there, I did learn a lot about ice storms in Texas. Now I can't say with certainty about the Texas ice storm vs the yankee version, we did have some genuine yankees in my class, one from Boston even, and they swore to me that they had never seen anything like the ice storms we had. But we don't even get those down here where I am, or at least the closest I ever saw was perhaps a 1/2" buildup, where as in Texas, it was more like 2" and was heavy enough to bring down even huge live oak trees.

Laika, Dear Hero Space Dog,

Informed minds want to know!

New York State allows studded snows from October 16 to April 30. No snows allowed anytime, in NYC.

NYS Vehicle & Traffic Law §375 (35a):
"... no vehicle equipped with such [studded] tires ... may operate on a
public highway during the period from the first day of May to the
fifteenth day of October, inclusive."

How well I remember the days of sub-zero temps for weeks, and blizzards....the one I most recall was in '66. It took the DPW three days to find our road. (I lived about four miles outside the city limits. We had to attend school until the end of June to make up for all the snow days! Now, with Global Climate Change, I just look out the window to see what the weather is; our weathermen up here have it easy, and are consistently wrong, but still manage to keep their jobs. LOL Sort of like our Senators!

looking for my snow shovel (yes, more snow on the way, everyday until May!)

Che' Gourmet

Amazing. so one must change their tires before entering NYC? Now that is Central Planning at it's best! I don't know who has it worse, but I think it may be ya'll....after all, snow here is a treat, an event, a rarity, but for you it is just another day with the shovel.

Comrades! I am still being attacked by the Bush Special Weather Weapon Machine! Last week it was snow, today it is in the seventies! Yet it snows in Las Vegas! Then next Monday we are supposed to be down to the thirties again!

Stop the Madness!!!! Oh when oh when will the new Obama Climate Czarina, and alleged babe and Mother of the Year, say enough is enough, and put an end to this?

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Comrades! I am still being attacked by the Bush Special Weather Weapon Machine! Last week it was snow, today it is in the seventies! Yet it snows in Las Vegas! Then next Monday we are supposed to be down to the thirties again!

Stop the Madness!!!! Oh when oh when will the new Obama Climate Czarina, and alleged babe and Mother of the Year, say enough is enough, and put an end to this?

Marshal Pupovitch,

Oh Pup, get over it man! Have your crops wilted and died? Don't you have a heavy jacket, or thermals? Ahhhh....no heat in the dacha? That could be a problem......ignore my digs, comrade. I do sympathize after all.



But still, try dealing with snow, sleet and freezing rain in the morning, then sunshine and 50 degrees in the same afternoon. It sure plays havoc with your sinuses, and allergies. I've got to go for now because my head is ready to explode from the plummeting barometer, again.

Grouchy and miserable,

Che' Gourmet

PS Does anyone know someone who needs a chef? (warm climates only, please!)

Well, if you use Wang Chung's logic. Bush hates New Orleans, which in turn means he hates black people, which means he has a hurricane machine and controls the weather, which means it's snowing in Las Vegas, which means Bush hates Muslims, which means Bush hates Jews, which means Bush hates everybody, and that's why there is climate change, snow, rain, cold, hot, you name it....
It's all Bush's fault.
Need a link?

Laika the Space Dog wrote:Well, if you use Wang Chung's logic. Bush hates New Orleans, which in turn means he hates black people, which means he has a hurricane machine and controls the weather, which means it's snowing in Las Vegas, which means Bush hates Muslims, which means Bush hates Jews, which means Bush hates everybody, and that's why there is climate change, snow, rain, cold, hot, you name it....
It's all Bush's fault.
Need a link?

Wang Chung... is that the brilliant mind who posts how he graduated Cuma Sum Latte or some crap like that? If so, I just posted some comment regarding the low standards they must have.

Pupovich, be careful what you post around Wang Chung, especially if you use your own name. Your comment could wind up a topic for his blog, e.g. "MARSHAL PUPOVICH VISITS THE BLOG OF ANDREW YU-JEN WANG TO SAY BUSH HAS LOW STANDARDS."

Fortunate for me, I could care less what those idiots post on their blog.

I can understand you have questions with the "white stuff" where you live Marshal Pupovich, but here in Minnesota, on a year where global warming takes a break (we both know that's a lie), we get years like this. . .
<img width="550" src="https://www.abbeytheleme.com/images/fro ... 20snow.gif">

<img src="https://pubs.usgs.gov/of/2004/1216/m/im ... lance1.gif">

And the short sleeves are a right-of-passage for foreigners here. If you can't wear short-sleeve shirts and pants, you get sent to a warmer gulag, and get a tattoo slapped on the back on their neck to recieve one more potato to toughen them up.

Yo Comrade_Elliott,

Wait 'till da Marshal Pupovich finds out dat yo's been postin' in non-TPC-union standard attachment sizes.

tsk tsk

Yo be gankin' hes People's Computer's memory an' shiz.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:Amazing. so one must change their tires before entering NYC? Now that is Central Planning at it's best! I don't know who has it worse, but I think it may be ya'll....after all, snow here is a treat, an event, a rarity, but for you it is just another day with the shovel.

Yes, Marshal, New York City is Central Planning at it's best! With Comrade Bloomberg in charge, the city is really experiencing a Renaissance.LOL

This morning, I am working on digging the PHK's van out of snow drifts, courtesy of the DPW (after spending half the day yesterday doing the same thing). The Bushitler Weather Machine is particularly effective up here, and timing is most important. He makes sure that the biggest storms are unleashed on Fridays, just in time for the weekend. This way, the people have all weekend to dig out, and don't miss work.

Also, this means that the stores have their big sales, and no one shows up, hence the retailers (damn capitalists!) can't make any money. The people are frustrated, and demoralized which is just what Bushitler wants. Leave the Obamessiah as much trouble as possible. Ha, and they're calling him a lame duck!

Wolfgang, get those lazy bastards shoveling, NOW! I'm freezing, get me some cocoa with marshmallows!

getting out the weather, , Brrrrr!

Che' Gourmet

Comrade_Elliott wrote:I can understand you have questions with the "white stuff" where you live Marshal Pupovich, but here in Minnesota, on a year where global warming takes a break (we both know that's a lie), we get years like this. . .

And the short sleeves are a right-of-passage for foreigners here. If you can't wear short-sleeve shirts and pants, you get sent to a warmer gulag, and get a tattoo slapped on the back on their neck to recieve one more potato to toughen them up.

Comrade Elliot,

Nice to see that your proles are so insulated, but not all can go to the warmer climates (although I have no idaea why?). And make sure to punish the prole who left his shovel behind. The party does not need to be issuing new shovels to scatter-brained proles!

sympathizing, comrade,

Che' Gourmet

Cradle to Grave Marxist wrote:Yo Comrade_Elliott,

Wait 'till da Marshal Pupovich finds out dat yo's been postin' in non-TPC-union standard attachment sizes.

tsk tsk

Yo be gankin' hes People's Computer's memory an' shiz.

Comrade Cradle to the Grave, you have said it all for me. I clearly have no choice....

I DENOUNCE Comrade Elliot!

for failure to obey standard attachment size despite the recent explanations of the standard.

I call on SMO to come do some "housekeeping" in regard to this.... breech!

I also demand a heavy fine on Che Gourmet for copying said illegal picture in his post causing double the work cleaning up.

Marshal Pupovich wrote:

Cradle to Grave Marxist wrote:Yo Comrade_Elliott,

Wait 'till da Marshal Pupovich finds out dat yo's been postin' in non-TPC-union standard attachment sizes.

tsk tsk

Yo be gankin' hes People's Computer's memory an' shiz.

DUH??????

Comrade Cradle to the Grave, you have said it all for me. I clearly have no choice....

I DENOUNCE Comrade Elliot!

for failure to obey standard attachment size despite the recent explanations of the standard.

I call on SMO to come do some "housekeeping" in regard to this.... breech!

I also demand a heavy fine on Che Gourmet for copying said illegal picture in his post causing double the work cleaning up.

Thanks Marshal, keep piling it on. My calm demeanor is being sorely tested, and you are not helping! Here I am up to my wazoo in snow and all you can do is complain about the collective's computer illiteracy! I'll be happy to pay your fine......in snowballs aimed at your....
f$%$%$%$ that!....not worth it......Prole, come here....you're not shoveling fast enough (hits him across the head)....get your back into it man!!!....I'm not going to tell you again, comrade!! Ahh....yes...now where was I? Yes, I do believe that our whiny (can't handle a little snow, poor pooch) Marshall wants us to discontinue posting until housekeeping cleans up the mess? Well that's just fine with me comrade! I'm going to Commissar Theocritis and offer my services for your Show Trial that hasn't materialized yet.(??)....and then I'm going to inform the Obamessiah that our collective needs computer lessons. I'm sure he will get some lackey on it, right away. Stalin forbid that you should be a little inconvenienced by a couple of "newbies" to the collective! WOLFGANG! Where's the vodka? The good stuff man...I'm not drinking that swill they ration out to the proletariat.

Go chew on a Salty Chocolate ball or two, Marshal!

Che' Gourmet

I've got extra shovels here, and extra rations for any prole who can get this fu**ing van out of that snowbank! NOW MOVE IT!!!!!

I blame Google for all of this.

Comrade_Elliott wrote:I blame Google for all of this.

and Bill Gates, but most of all...

ITS BUSH'S FAULT!

Well of course, because when The Party was founded, so came the George Bush and his Nazi army and followers.

Comrade Che Gourmet, surely you do not advocate rebellion against the rules set down by the Glorious Red Cube?

Marshal,

Con permiso, mi Marshal for my rude manners. I've been experiencing so many computer problems (the state-issued pieces of crap that they are) lately, that I am just a tad frustrated.
I know it is hard to read the thread when it's like 3 feet wide, and I have no idea how this happens? I would never, ever rebel against our wise and efficient Leader! But, you have to admit, the Obamessiah would do well to "educate" the Party that hastens his quest for domination over the capitalist running pig dogs! I hear that he has plans to issue computers to all school-age children, which will prevent these "dumb accidents" from occuring in the future. (that's our Obamessiah...always looking ahead..heh,,heh, and behind him) Also, it is an excellent way to stay in touch with his adoring public (UTube addresses) and spread the Current Truth so much faster. Again, Marshal, do accept my humble apologies for my ill-humor. I really need a vacation.......maybe after the purges...Inauguration of the Obamessiah......Si...some place warmer.....maybe I'll look up that fellow, Sgt. Jamie Teran, who claims to have killed me in Bolivia..he was such a puta.. coward...spits on floor...yes, it's time for some payback....and it will revitalize my revoluntionary spirit at the same time....yes, a vacation is in order. Better check with the Inner Circle to see if there is anything they want me to do first....then, off to make reservations..

Daydreaming of warm ocean breezes,

Che' Gourmet

The cause of the 3 feet wide thread is due to pictures being posted that exceed the Party mandated 520 pixel limit. I see someone has corrected this issue, and isn't it so much the better?

again, I blame Google.