The People's Cube - Political Satire

An Inconvenient Truth: The Earth is Cooling

The “scientific consensus” that Al Gore and his fellow global warming alarmists rely upon to force radical changes in how Americans live and work is being unraveled by Mother Nature. In addition to the recent freak snowstorms in Malibu, New Orleans and Las Vegas, Arctic ice is expanding this year - not shrinking - and there were 115 record-low temperatures reported in the U.S. in October, according to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. Despite rising carbon dioxide levels, the Earth has actually been cooling – not warming – since 1998, when the warming trend peaked in conjunction with heightened sunspot activity. It appears that 2008, the National Climatic Data Center now says, will go down as the coldest year in a decade.

“For how many years must the planet cool before we begin to understand that the planet is not warming?” asked Dr. David Gee, chairman of the 2008 International Geological Congress' science committee.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Bah, cold weather is evidence of global warming; every media-educated scientist knows that. When it is hot in the summer and you drink a steaming hot coffee, you sweat and you cool off, do you not? Well, the same principle is at work here. The earth is so hot, it is sweating which is why the oceans are getting higher, but this means the planet appears to be cooling! Damn, these people are all in denial.

Comrade, are you sure of your data? This sounds suspiciously like a propaganda release from the failing Republican Party. After all, how could such a high ranking official like Commandant Gore who is also a Harvard cum laude graduate (with a D in earth science as well as a Vanderbilt drop out) be wrong and made to look like such a fool?? Surely the error is yours comrade!

This shakes the overall objective of the party's Global Warming™ initiativeto the core. We must then hasten our efforts to employ the fourth dogma: "We must place human industries under centralized control and issue production quotas to stop rising temperatures." Clearly taking over just the auto industry is not enough! Yes-yes, I know that the airlines will soon be ours but we obviously need to be more aggressive!

Actually, I was shocked the other day to hear people on one of the MSM stations, CNN as I recall, actually stating what non-cultists have been saying for years. Actually asking which was the biggest effect on the weather, the sun, the 11 year cycle etc. No mention of CO2 any more. One actually said that the weather and this earth is too huge and complicated for man to think he affects it. Shamefully, they did not apologize for all the other crap they have been spewing for all these years, and acted as if it never happened, even as they admitted that the earth has actually been cooling the past 10 years and we may well be headed for a ice age.

Oooo, here it is...

CNN's Lou Dobbs Tonight, weatherman Chad Myers was on. Dobbs said, "Chadley, you seeing anything here that directly is tied to something called global warming, fossil fuels, manmade? Which is the dominant influence overall on weather, is it cycles, solar sunspots, solar flares, the 11-year cycle, is that dominate? What's dominant in terms of influencing the weather?"

MYERS: To think that we could affect weather all that much is pretty arrogant. Mother Nature is so big, the world is so big, the oceans are so big. I think we're going to die from a lack of freshwater or we're going to die from ocean acidification before we die from global warming, for sure. But this is like, you know, you said in your career. My career's been 22 years long. That's a good career in TV, but talking about climate, it's like having a car for three days and saying, this is a great car. Oh, yeah, it was for three days, but maybe in day five, six, and seven it won't be so good and that's what we're doing here, we have a hundred years' worth of data, not millions of years that the world's been around.

RUSH: I know that this is at CNN, it was on Lou Dobbs last night. The only saving grace was that it was on Lou Dobbs and not in a weather forecast. But this is Chadley Myers. But Chadley, we do have a historical data, not records, but we can go back and look, we can see when the earth was frozen, see what happened to dinosaurs, we have a lot of data beyond a hundred years that shows all kinds of warming and cooling cycles, that had nothing to do with whatever humanity at the time was doing. Also, on Lou Dobbs, he's got Jay Lehr, who is the science director of the Heartland Institute. He said, "Jay, we've been around a little over, by scientific estimates, 4.5 billion years. What's your thought about the dominant influence on the weather?"

LEHR: Clearly, Lou, it is the sun, but if we go back in really recorded human history, in the thirteenth century we were probably seven degrees Fahrenheit and warmer than we are now, and it was a very prosperous time for mankind. If we go back to the Revolutionary War, 300 years ago, it was very, very cold. We've been warming out of that cold spell from the Revolutionary War period, and now we're back into a cooling cycle. The last ten years have been quite cool, and right now I think we're going into cooling rather than warming. And that should be a much greater concern for humankind, but all we can do is adapt. It is the sun that does it, not man.

Uh oh, I think I see a couple of disloyal comrades who're going to the Gulag! Frankly, I don't see how Dobbs even has a job right now after airing information that is contrary to the editorial policy of CNN and The Party (but I repeat myself).

I heard a similar discussion today on a less than progressive radio program. CO2 is seemingly a dead issue as they have not been able to prove that the atmospheric levels are increasing.

The shows main focus was on "rising ocean levels" which the Goremons have been using as another rather pitiful scare-tactic. According to scientists (obviosuly far less educated and informed than Commandant Gore) the oceans have been rising in a very predictable manner and they rise about 17" per 100 years. This is in contradistiction to Gore's 20 feet in a few decades. An example of the types of people that were frightened (that the host mentioned) were the wealthy and politically infuential people that bought land on North Carolina's northern shore right at sea-level (I have not not confirmed this as I am a "left-coast" peon).

Because of Global Warming' s eniment and untimely demise, I am anxiously awaiting another
righteous cause whose bandwagon that I can either jump board or more likely based on my lowly position laboriously pull along.

Let us not forget that all truth is malleable and subjective. The truth is whatever The Party says is true and there is no need to question further. The Party has employed a large number of Very Smart People™ who've used Really Powerful Computers (still no Party TM on that one yet) to PROVE that Catastrophic Global Climate Change is real, is happening now, and is all the fault of the developed world, especially AmeriKKKa.

So called "empirical evidence" that contravenes Party Truth™ only proves the blindness and biases of the observers. Fortunately, whatever the weather appears to be doing at the moment is of no concern because the Beloved One has surrounded Himself with the finest scientific minds the Party has to offer. These learned scholars believe deeply in the coming catastrophe of RethugliKKKan-caused Global Warming and will take actions to correct it, regardless of any contrary (and therefore incorrect) data. Lysenko would be pleased.

One needs only to have watched the History Channel for a while to get an idea of the historical evidence that suggests global warming may not be due to human activity. They had a two-hour show "How the Earth Was Made" which spelled out much of what is now known about how the Earth came to be as we see it today. For example, twice in its history the Earth was completely covered in ice (i.e. a snowball Earth) and there were no humans, animals or even plants around to cause it. So if we didn't cause these changes, what might have? Mmmmm.... let me stare up into the sky a while and ponder that one. They also had a show about the so-called Little Ice Age which lasted (if I recall correctly) from the Middle Ages until the Late 1800s. There were lots of interesting effects from that climate change that I didn't realize were connected (i.e. the Irish Potato Famine.) But the main thing I came away with is that these changes happened when the human population was a lot less than it is now and the people that were here weren't driving cars, producing electricity or even burning the demon petroleum and the climate changed anyway. I wonder if Al Gore had been alive at that time, he would've been crusading against bovine flatulence-induced global cooling. I don't know how anyone can say today's computer models can predict future climate reliably unless those models can also explain all of the enormous variances of the past.

Commissar M wrote

Let us not forget that all truth is malleable and subjective.

Thank you for my re-education concerning the Current Truth™

I must confess that my original education was in Oldspeak before the new era of enlightment began. I am not yet well versed in Newspeak, Doublespeak, Diabologic & etc and I still find myself holding on to what the Party would refer to as dying metaphors, pretentious diction, rhetoric, and meaningless words – all of which sadly contributes to my own fuzzy ideas and a lack of logical thinking. I also freely confess that I am not as of yet fluent in ebonics.

With that being said, one thing that should not be overlooked is that the masses are losing faith in Gore. This is despite having his vast educational resume buffed to a nice high shine by the Current Truth ™ and Media ™. Something should be done, he will obviously need to be either elevated to a new higher position or replaced all together.

If he is to be replaced, should he become a Non-People (Person)™ or perhaps his reputation should be martyred for the cause to inspire the masses even more....

It is well the earth is cooling. Decadent and weak capitalists will die, while the strong and hardy workers and peasants of the world will rejoice as a Siberian like climate engulfs us all. See, even Nature has our socialist goals at heart, and since the capitalists will not go to Siberia, she is bringing Siberia to the capitalists.

Anonymous wrote:Commissar M wrote

Let us not forget that all truth is malleable and subjective.

Thank you for my re-education concerning the Current Truth™

I must confess that my original education was in Oldspeak before the new era of enlightment began. I am not yet well versed in Newspeak, Doublespeak, Diabologic & etc and I still find myself holding on to what the Party would refer to as dying metaphors, pretentious diction, rhetoric, and meaningless words – all of which sadly contributes to my own fuzzy ideas and a lack of logical thinking. I also freely confess that I am not as of yet fluent in ebonics.

With that being said, one thing that should not be overlooked is that the masses are losing faith in Gore. This is despite having his vast educational resume buffed to a nice high shine by the Current Truth ™ and Media ™. Something should be done, he will obviously need to be either elevated to a new higher position or replaced all together.

If he is to be replaced, should he become a Non-People (Person)™ or perhaps his reputation should be martyred for the cause to inspire the masses even more....

I personally sense a purge. Comrade Gore has fallen off the radar, and I don't sense the Current Truth to readjust back to him or the CO2 idea. I do still see our world in peril by mass flooding, or by heating up, but not by Gore's CO2 idea.

If he isn't purged, I bet he'll be replaced.

Alternately, we can always go back to the "Earth is freezing" rhetoric of my youth and blame it all on capitalism and RepugliKKKans in AmeriKKKa. Sure, it might require a purge of Hansen, Gore, et. al. but like I said, the truth is malleable.

Besides, The Beloved One has clearly stacked the deck with true believers in his cabinet and the alarmists have been diligently working to restate "global warming" as "climate change" so I imagine this bullshit Party Truth still has a bit of life in it.

Actually there is a link between CO2 levels and global temperature.... it is just that soon to be non-person Gore and his pals had it wrong....CO2 levels do rise... as a result of global warming. There is a lag time between the temp and the CO2 level rising.

Comrades, I believe that the answer has been staring in the face this whole time. Commandant Gore was likely only partially right. We shall use the Ministry of MiS-Information's Mission (MSM) to state that there is both Global Warming AND Global freezing occurring.

We shall have Global Warming in the summer and Global freezing in the winter. Thus Commandant Gore can be saved from banishment and will continue to be a strategically useful tool and figure head that the masses will flock to in our battle against the non-believing and nonconformist Capitalists.

Here is the funny thing though, the biggest contributor to global warming is water vapor, because guess what you see on very cloudy days. We all know though man can not do squat about changing the environment

Here's another thing to think about, yes, you are right Marshal Pupovich, CO2 levels do right, but if you think about it, isn't the whole cycle of breathing, burning and other chemical reactions that produce CO2, aren't they suppose to turn into CO2? Hmmm. . .?

If CO2 was unnatural, I can understand how we would want to control it, if this makes sense, but the truth is, it's natural, it's suppose to form CO2! The earth has had higher levels of CO2 in its past, and we haven't had a thing to do with it, and it was suppose to happen. There was no mass extinction, there was no extinction of all life, life adapted to it, and didn't give a crap.

GlobalWarming^TM is no longer the proper buzzword, Comrades. We now speak of ClimateChange^TM. If it's warm, humans are causing ClimateChange^TM. If it is cold, humans are causing ClimateChange^TM. Don't you see? There is no way it can be refuted!

Also, it is all inclusive! And isn't that really what we are all about, Comrades? Besides, what could be better for the Glorious World of Next Tuesday! Assuming, of course, that the climate doesn't take a turn for the worst on Monday.