The People's Cube - Political Satire

COMRADES!

I do not know if you have seen the news out of Yellowstone regarding a swarm of earthquakes which may herald a supermassive supervolcano eruption that could blot out much or all of the United States and destroy capitalism and decadent western civilization.

First of all, please let me put something to rest, I have no active secret lairs in that part of the country. I am in no way responsible for this. Various scientific theories have been advanced, and of course the historical record is clear; claiming that the supervolcano erupts every 650 thousand years or so.

Of course, some of the religious types spout off their mumbo jumbo about the source of this growing danger. They are so full of faith that they cannot listen to REASON.

But it is clear to any with the ability to use TRUE PROGRESSIVE SCIENCE that reason it has become active now is that the planet is ANGRY.

The planet is slow to rouse to anger but obviously she is now VERY angry.
Global Warming, The stealing of the election by Bu$hHitler away from a champion of the planet, Haliburton.. the crimes against the planet are endless. It cannot be a coincidence that this disaster threatens both Darth Cheney and Bu$hHitler

I beleive the final straw for the planet was when Sarah Palin was selected as NeoCon Queen and insisted on drilling for oil directly through baby carabou heads and wiping up the spilled oil with baby polar bears.

But no, these so-called scientists and religious leaders stick with their mumbo jumbo instead of the plainly visible FACTS of planetary anger!

As usual FEMA is doing nothing about this. They use the excuse that nothing has happened yet, but I bet there is not even a viable plan for the total destruction of civilization on a massive scale when 21 zettajoules - about 45 years worth of the total human energy production - is released in a fraction of second.

Where are the volcano levies? Where are the ash catchers? What has this President been doing all his eight years? It has long been known this could happen, but instead of trying to FIX it, GWB has gone about actively making the earth MORE ANGRY.

I guess George W Bush is too busy loading up his rider truck to go back to the double wide andhanding out no bid contracts to his bourgeois Haliburton cronies to do anything about this.

Our beloved Obamassiah will have to fix this mess. I hope it doesn't go before Obama gets into office so he can fix it BEFORE it blows up.

For starters, we all need to join the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement, because we need to face the fact that humans are bad for humanity and the planet. What good are humans without a happy planet? Lets worry about the earth for a change.

In the end though, it just comes down to only one thing we can do to make our Earth happy. Only through total massive progressive government control of all activities, with an eye towards being planet friendly, will we ever truly be free. Government needs to speak the words that the Earth canonly give us in natural sign language!!

Long live our Fearless Leader, may he heal our land.

Oh yes! Comrade, this is the premise of the recent remake of "The Day The Earth Stood Still".

Humans-> BAD, Mother Earth-> GOOD

The kindly aliens come to save the earth by destroying it's most intelligent species. Makes perfect sense to me. The answer lies in Voluntary Human Extinction Movement...I have offered my slot in this program to others to ensure there is no crowding or pushing in the queue.

Comrades,

Just the other night NHK on BS1 or BS2 aired a British program with exactly this content! Seven ash-pouring vents appeared in Yellowstone bringing a natural nuclear winter. That spreads mainly eastward across the US, killing millions, causing houses, powerlines, and other things to collapsse due to the weight and corosive nature of the ash. The AmeriKKKan-born ash even spreads to Europe and elsewhere, leaving a British scientist who, apparently in the last hours of his life, leaves behind a documentary video that chronically reappears as events unfold. However, convinced that Gaia would never commit suicide, I turned the indoctrination off.

Now through the powers of self-criticism and groupthink, I realize that Gaia is consciously killing us, the parasite species for our capitalistic exploitation of her. Why, did not Al Gore tells us the Earth has a fever? All that magma as seismic snot, dribbling down and killing us. It's now sneezing on us and there's no Kleenex big enough to save any of us.

We should all bow our heads to the Gorical,

Pray:

Otay Otay oh beloved Gorical giver of stupid laws, although you are a flatulating butt head but we are all praying to you. Founder of the Internet oh great one, and knowing you are lining your pockets with brain dead followers cash, we beseech you to talk to the Caldera spirits to save us all.

Also bless, your private jet, and leaves to smell of pine where ever it fly's. Please forgive us as we are retards, that you have been sucking up to Jessie Jackson, and Pastor Manning, all for our sake.....

Amino Domini, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Budweiser, and fart jokes

P.S. Man, Bear, Pig is real!

Why is Gore ignoring this? There's a gold mine of potential here that is being wasted by The Party. There must be a geologist/ seismologist version of James Hansen to lead the charge against Republican-caused Anthropogenic Global Seismic Activity. Wasn't the 2004 Banda Achi tsunami, created by one of the greatest earthquakes ever known (High on a rapid, it sunk their tiny raft AAAAHHHHHH! And plunged them down to the valley deep below.) warning enough? The evidence is clear that, since AmeriKKKa had stupidly and illegally reinstalled the evil Bushitler regime a bit more than a month earlier, Banda Achi was Gaia's response. And let's not forget that less than a year later, Gaia sent powerful hurricanes including Katrina to batter our redneck, red state Gulf Coast, allowing Bush cover to kill black people in New Orleans. It all ties together and the debate is clearly over. We need to act now before it's too late and seismic activity deniers begin to sow doubt and confusion in the minds of the sheeple proles People!

Comrades,

Gaia is harmless and would never do anything to hurt Her creatures. An oath of fealty should be taken by all Greens, Gore Whores, and Eco-Freakos that consists of brief (to reduce CO2 output) eco-friendly platitudes sworn to followed by the mass ritual drinking of organic Fair Trade hemlock tea.