The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades, today is the 50th anniversary of Cuba's Revolution, and I'm here to say that I was instrumental in bringing it to fruition. Although there are no longer any references to my heroics in Rauls' speeches, Che' knows that he is aware of my selfless service to the Revolution.....Hey, Raul, old buddy, where's your brother, Fidel? Still recouping, after over two years??? Come on...cups his hand and whispers....what's the real dirt on this?.....

It was a long struggle to secure Cuba (a whopping 25 months, comrades), but due to my extraordinary efforts, and the backing of the, then, USSR, my compadre, Fidel and I liberated the People from the tyranny of that disgusting puta dictator, Fulgencio Batista!...spits on floor.....

There will be freedom for those who speak in our favor and for those who speak against us and criticize us. There will be freedom for all men because we have achieved freedom for all men.' 'Yes, comrades, my dear Fidel said this on January 1, 1959. And 50 years later:



Few could have predicted, when Fidel Castro made this soaring promise on Jan. 1, 1959, in Santiago de Cuba, how much pain was in store for the Cuban people. It was the moment of triumph for the Cuban revolution, yet also the beginning of the most cynical betrayal ever to befall that island nation.(Miami Herald, 12/31/08)

No critics allowed
Within weeks, Castro reneged on his commitment to free expression. Critics were branded enemies of the revolution. Given a choice of silence, prison or exile, many chose the latter. ''Neither bread without liberty, nor liberty without bread,'' Castro promised, yet that, too, became another empty vow. A slogan was coined to justify dictatorship: ``Revolution first, elections later!'' (and is still one of Che's favorite sayings)
Fifty years on, the people of Cuba are still waiting, for such is the history of the revolution -- little bread, few liberties, no elections.
The most remarkable features of the revolution are the huge disparity between slogan and reality, and the efficiency of the police state.Miami Herald, 12/31/08

And then there is the take on 50 years of Communism from the People directly:

Cubans deeply resent strict controls, which prevent them from legally supplementing woeful salaries that average $20 a month. They say the government has cracked down harder on black market business that they need to survive.
''They are organizing this big celebration for those who can celebrate,'' said Yolys, a teacher. ``I bought a new dress for New Year's Eve (on $20 a month?) but that means not having money to buy rum.''
``For most of us, it's like that. We'd rather be celebrating a different system, one where I could speak freely and buy the clothes I like, not just the ones I can afford.''
As Yolys looked at herself in the mirror at a nightclub bathroom and adjusted her tight jeans and tank top, she stared at the image for a few moments.
''Look older than 32, don't I? I look at least 40,'' she said. ``It is the life here. That's why I go out to places like this hoping to find a foreigner to fall in love with me. Don't get me wrong, I would not marry a fat disgusting guy. I want a nice one, one who can offer me a better life.''
Cubans, especially those who made a new and successful beginning in South Florida and elsewhere, know this sad story all too well. Today is not a day for celebration, but a day to look forward to a future that can offer what the revolution failed to provide -- freedom for the Cuban people. Miami Herald 12/31/08

<Karacter>
So good comrades, the Revolution in Cuba goes on! but the moral to this story is: You don't always get what you want! But if you try, sometimes, you get what you don't need!

(yes comrades, I do a brisk business in Cuba, as well!

Comrade Che Gourmet,

Do foreign visitors get to participate in the festivities by shooting a political prisoner in El Cabaña? When Cuban sex workers can be had for a pair of shoes (scroll down), think how many foreign progressive tourists (600,000 annually from Canada alone!) will be willing to pay to lend the Revolution a hand (or a pair of gloves, shoes, $10s, etc.) to play Dicktator and put a bullet in the head of a reactionary!

Hey Che!

We all know Fidel is getting pretty old and feeble despite his bowling abilities depicted in another blog here. But while surfing the net I see that you have found another buddy to pal round with.....

Nice PhotoShopping Robot:

At least I am the Master & the f**king Islamoturd is the slave, prole! LOL....guess I had better forego those rich pastries for awhile.....

PS: I'm also a lot taller than that, and don't have tatoos,....at least no one can readily see them....spits on floor.... makes note about prole's insolence for future use!

Proletarian Robot wrote:We all know Fidel is getting pretty old and feeble despite his bowling abilities depicted in another blog here. But while surfing the net I see that you have found another buddy to pal round with.....

Comrades,

This photo-documentation is glorious, sublime even, for it proves Che Guevara and Osama bin Laden (laden with leather, man) made it to Key West (yay!), although it looks as if they might be putting the Revolution on hold for a little one-on-one hardcore, chain-breaking, liberation nation action.

Che Gourmet wrote:I'm also a lot taller than that, and don't have tatoos,....at least no one can readily see them....spits on floor.... makes note about prole's insolence for future use!

Comrade Che Gourmet,

What is this "no one can readily see them" business? The Party is all-seeing and all-knowing. However, if you would care to show me in private, so I can file a more detailed report of course, a safehouse room or Party dacha can be requisitioned.

Rowrrr!

Shall we celebrate with cigars and a little champagne?

(off)
"The tyrant always talks as if he's preserving the best interests of his people
when he actually acts to undermine them."
-Ramman Kenoun

Tyrants have always some slight shade of virtue; they support the laws before
destroying them."
-Voltaire

"Every tyrant who has lived has believed in freedom - for himself."
-Elbert Hubbard

Shocking, no?

(Simpson quote)
(Homer, Mr. Burns, and Smithers arrive in Cuba in order to escape court time in America)
(Homer is filling out the customs form)
"REASONS FOR VISITING CUBA

Business/Pleasure

Smuggle Cigars

Assassinate Castro"

Comrade Elliott,

Considering Homer's workplace, maybe he can arrange for a little polonium to fall into his hands and hence into Fidel's body.

It is almost worth paying money to have the pleasure watching The Simpsons here.

Hmm. . . It would be a good show. I can see Matt having the Cubans declaring war on the U.S. of KKK A, and Homer stopping it by saying something like "Why are you going to do that? We rely on smuggling your cigars, putting ourselves above you. If you go to war with America, we will have a problem of not laughing at your backwards ways."

Comrade_Tovarich wrote:

Che Gourmet wrote:I'm also a lot taller than that, and don't have tatoos,....at least no one can readily see them....spits on floor.... makes note about prole's insolence for future use!

Comrade Che Gourmet,

What is this "no one can readily see them" business? The Party is all-seeing and all-knowing. However, if you would care to show me in private, so I can file a more detailed report of course, a safehouse room or Party dacha can be requisitioned.

Rowrrr!

My, My, Comrade Tovarich,

I had no idea that you were "kinky"? Must be from living in the Land of the Rising Sun....eh?
Very Progressive, comrade! Here's a sample of my tatoo artist's work

And here's an old photo of me (I'm the cute chick): and this is how I amuse myself, occasionally! Yes. that's a good boy!




If I pass your inspection comrade, then go ahead and arrange for that dacha.......heh....heh

Oh...Comrade....do not be so modest about your commercial efforts....so many of us have seen the late night infomercials on how you too can become...

Comrade Leftfield,

Where did you find this! Why, why......this is copyright infringement! How dare they use my likeness without proper payment, (to the Party, of course)!

Where are the Party's Lawyers, damn it! I demand prosecution of these damned Capitalist Pig Swine immediately! What an outrage!! The Party should be the only benefactor from my interests... spits on floor.....whacks the prep table with his fist....waves his knife in the air......stomps foot on floor...then kicks prole for looking at him.......

Argh.....I'm enraged at this attack on my persona! Do they think they can churn out world-renounced(ha ha) Chefs by the thousands, paying for some ridiculous course on late night TV? HA! they are fools.....and I swear to Lenin, I will get to the bottom of this scam and.......

HEADS WILL ROLL!

No stupid capitalist running dog is gonna profit from the Che' Gourmet! Wolfgang, get me Leftfield on the phone, NOW!...I need more information about this infomercial....