The People's Cube - Political Satire

It is with a heavy heart that we must announce that Rod Blagojevich has been ousted from his lofty status as head racketeer Governor of Illinois. He had the following to say as he was dragged walked away from the Governor's Mansion:

"I come out of the alleys of Chicago City politics ," said Mr. Blagojevich, 52, who entered Democratic politics in 1992, first as a state rep, then as a US rep. "That's a tough place. The politics there is not motivated by idealism or high purpose. It's nuts and bolts, and you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. I came up that way."

In honor of his rise to power up through the Chicago Machine™ the Richard J. Daily Memorial "Honesty in Politics Foundation" has come up with a limited edition commemorative Chicago Back-Alley Political Back Scratcher™ set.

This powerful set of Back Scratchers is truly a dream come true for any aspiring Chicago Pol. The players may change but Chicago Politics always remains the same!

Just look at these celebrity endorsements:

Hillary Clintion: "I would have sold my soul (if the devil didn't already own it) for a set like this 2 years ago!"

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Ted Kennedy: "There's no way my brother Jack would have been president without it. It would have worked for me too if only my driving skills were better. Sigh... it seems my driving skills are only good enough for the state of Massachusetts"

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James Riddle "Jimmy" Hoffa: "Take my word for it, the Back Alley Back Scratchers can keep things buried for a real long time!!"

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Al Capone: "I used my back-scratchers all the time and ran Chicago into the ground well. Unfortunately my set didn't pay my taxes, so I wish I'd had the set with Geithner included. Oh, by the way it does not protect you from syphilis."

Comrades, let Blago be an example of what happens when you don't use enough Neo-CHope with active ingredient LYE.

Since he's out of a job, I nominate him for Deputy Obamissar of Pimpin. He can report for duty with Comrade C2G Monday morning. However, if C2G doesn't like his methods, Comrade Blago can work at the TouchlessShine Prole-o-Matic on 52nd Avenue. Rather than the traditional car wash where rates are posted on a sign, the cost of a wash is determined by what other washing candidates are willing to pay.

-Obamissar Vodkavich
Obamissar of Gulags and Car Wash Products

Fear not comrades, I'm certain Jesse Jackson can find a corner office for comrade Blago in one of his tax exempt charities.

I also hear that the "made guy" Governor who runs PA, "Fast Eddie" Rendell has just legalized casino gambling there.

Perhaps they can find a place for Blago back in the counting room. He can make sure the "skim" is properly bundled for delivery to the DNC.

At the very least he can get a job maintaining the jukebox at Tony Soprano's "Bada Bing" lounge.

Proletarian Robot wrote: “I come out of the alleys of Chicago City politics,” said Mr. Blagojevich, 52, who entered Democratic politics in 1992, first as a state representative, then as a United States representative. “That's a tough place. The politics there is not motivated by idealism or high purpose. It's nuts and bolts, and you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. I came up that way.”

NO! You LIE, Blago! Politics is about goodness and niceness and helping the children and giving food to the lepers and taking a few "Hope and Change" signs and turning them into enough aruglua and rice cakes to feed an entire stadium in Denver! It is not as Blago says, IT IS NOT! I'm not listening to this anymore..... NANANANANANANANANANA....

Obama The Chicago Way....

Citithens!!! Tha Peeple demandth... Isth ffff-Thime To Goethe.... Back To School With Barack Obama