The People's Cube - Political Satire

For Betty:

Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?

Dr. Strangelove
Direktor of Flashing Lights, Shiny Things, Bobbles, and Cinematography
Ministry of Agitprop
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room."

(off)
I hope Onion News Network is making a joke out of this because I have a hard time believing this is serious news.

Commissar_Elliott wrote:(off)
I hope Onion News Network is making a joke out of this because I have a hard time believing this is serious news.

What are you talking about, Comrade?! The Onion has been known since 1756 as being one of the hardest, most trustworthy, most serious news sources around! Even the Chinese are known to quote from it, like when the Chinese press sourced The Onion on the new Congressional Superdome to replace the Capital Building. The Broken Newz is another favorite of the Chinese, like when William Hung died of a heroin overdose.

Ha! Thanks for the enlightening Comrade.

They can teach kids to kill zombies but are there games to teach them how to be zombies or mutants? Not all kids get to be normals after the apocalypse.

Hey, it just dawned on me, why are we shooting zombies? Isn't this going against our Progressive way? This is just as compairable to RethugliKKKans shooting our African American comrades! We need to ban these games comrades! We need games which are agitprop for the Obamasiah and his O'liness! We need games like "Obama vs. The RethugliKKKans" "Civil Service: For the Greater Good" and my personal favorite "ACORN: Rig Your Own Election".

Commissar Elliot, Creator of Peoples Training Aids or PTA an acronym wholly appropriate for the task. I vote for Obama Vs. The Rethuglikkkans, will you make it so we can see their evil heads explode? Eyes popping out and bits of brain raining down? All of this while quoting himself out of His little Blue Book?

Absolutly! See, it just wouldn't be a good game if their heads didn't explode. If the heads didn't explode, the comradren (combo of comrade and children) would think it's all fake and disappoint their expectations, causing them to question The Party and cause them to join the RethugliKKKan party!

So yes, all the good stuff to keep our comradren in The Party for life will be in there.

-Commissar_Elliott
Creator of People's Training Aids
Our Revolution is Coming. . .

Almost didn't catch this one.

I will have to watch this truth later on today, however, because I don't think the library doesn't have speakers on the computers, I don't have headphones, and I'm too lazy to install Flash Player 10 on this computer and stuff. And it would probably need a reboot afterwards anyway to work properly, at which point it will erase everything and start over with it uninstalled.

Cure you filthy college!

And this:

http://kotaku.com/gaming/zombie-racism/ ... 284725.php

Killing zombies is racist!!!!

Brainmeats (just because it's an awesome word)

I've heard that crap ever since the game was announced.

Barack Obama in the morning before his bowl of Kellogg's Brain Bran:

Elliott wrote:Hey, it just dawned on me, why are we shooting zombies?

Indeed, Elliott, indeed. They are first cousins to our necroproxy voters. And since zombies are motile, they can be easily led from polling place to polling place. Just lead them with a fresh brain, and they will reliably vote a straight D ticket.

Dr., that cannot be His O'liness unless the Clintons did so much damage renting out the Lincoln Bedroom that eight years of the Bushes still couldn't clean it up. See the background.

My mistake, Comrade Vlad. You are most korrekt. It's actually a picture of the uncle of his O'liness' who still "lives" in a hut in Kenya.

I wondered. Of course that could have been His O'liness after an ACORN raid threatening the wives and children of bankers to persuade them, for the common good(tm), of course, to make mortgage loans to people without jobs or any hope of repaying them.

I'm told those parties could go on all night. What with kicking down the door. I wish Red Star were here to give us some pointers in kicking down doors at midnight.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:

Elliott wrote:Hey, it just dawned on me, why are we shooting zombies?

Indeed, Elliott, indeed. They are first cousins to our necroproxy voters. And since zombies are motile, they can be easily led from polling place to polling place. Just lead them with a fresh brain, and they will reliably vote a straight D ticket.

Dr., that cannot be His O'liness unless the Clintons did so much damage renting out the Lincoln Bedroom that eight years of the Bushes still couldn't clean it up. See the background.

Exactly! I was thinking though the zombies were people, err a voting block, so in a sense, I was right.

Also, though I'm a little late to it, I could see the Obama looking like that in the morning, if our MTE snuck in late at night and beat him with a stick, or something.

Has it occurred to any of you that our MTE might be, after dark, a succubus?

That would explain a lot.

Hmm. . . it would, have you noticed her belly lately?

No, Elliott, at my advanced age I have to save my strength. Also I do not think that my Mac screen can take one more bout of projectile vomiting.

I'm sorry Commissar Theo, just understand you've done the same to me, remember Media polishing his brass balls?

That's all they do--except when they're in waxing salons. It's so disconcerting, I'm told, to be engaged in a convivial bout of butt-sniffing as they interview each other about the horrors of the Rethuglicans and how now they all weigh 10% less and have better skin, the second that His O'liness was elevated to Premiership.

That's why they go into the waxing salons. But they only need one slice of cucumber to cover the eye.

Well this explains a lot, the one eye part. It proves they are pretty narrow in the view. I didn't know they weighed less when the Obamasiah was elected, of course, than they aren't under so much stress, since they don't have to be blowing smoke rings and fire at the Bushitler.

Though, I thought the Media was hairless, much like a hagfish. . .
(off)
. . . like a hagfish, they are spinless, slimy, and downright repulsive, but than again, at least hagfish serve a good purpose (scavenging).

Elliott, I have heard more than one general or colonel remark that the media was offered rides out into Iraq but they preferred to stay in the Green Zone, which means that they're scavenging.

Also journalists interviewing journalists--the most polite term for that would be scavenging. Or a circle-jerk.

But remember that scavenger are bottom feeders, and there we get back to sniffing butts.

[off]Worse they were using Iraqi stringers to flesh out their bias stories. The stringers were of course working for the insurgency telling the activists reporters what they wanted to hear. The Fourth Estate is compromised. They find themselves as being part of the story, so it's easy for them to ignore or change the facts as they see fit.

Faux does it every weekend. Greta interviews O'Riley or something like that... as if there weren't enough young, white, blond, females missing in the country. Hurry up, Fairness Doctrine!!! I can't be subjected to this crap any longer!! I WILL NOT REST until I see Shep stroking a cardboard cutout of The One.

-COV

We can only hope that Alan Colmes becomes the new Murrow. I trust what Alan Colmes says--even his mother is pressed for nice things about him.

Red Jim, why should reporters actually report? They're supposed to throw attitude. If they reported they might get into, er, trouble or harm's way. Much better to sneer on camera. And use enemy fixers after all, for it's a lot easier.

Vodkavich, your wait will not be long. Nothing will stop us in our pursuit of the total control of communication.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Red Jim, why should reporters actually report? They're supposed to throw attitude. If they reported they might get into, er, trouble or harm's way. Much better to sneer on camera. And use enemy fixers after all, for it's a lot easier.

They sit at a lounge at the top of a hotel in the Green Zone, imagining that they are the new millenium version of Ernie Pyle or Tim Page, sipping sweet tea and musing over the idea of an arab democracy.

Red Jim, I thoroughly approve of that. If a reporter were actually confronted with <i>facts</i> then he might have his objectivity compromised.

Notice that the meaning of "objectivity" has changed. Objectivity is a self-claimed virtue. The reporter says, "I'm for human rights," as he calls for the destruction of Israel, the only democracy in the region. He says, "I believe in the defense of the most helpless," as he sneers at pro-life people. He says, "I'm objective," as he works out how to fulfill his political objective.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Elliott, I have heard more than one general or colonel remark that the media was offered rides out into Iraq but they preferred to stay in the Green Zone, which means that they're scavenging.

Also journalists interviewing journalists--the most polite term for that would be scavenging. Or a circle-jerk.

But remember that scavenger are bottom feeders, and there we get back to sniffing butts.

The circle of life I presume? Also, a circle-jerk of journalists, eww. . .

Circle-jerk is not only accurate but it's a double entendre too, and accurate again.

Right, which is why I winced at the thought of it.

I just thought of the meaning in which a jerk is a person. I'm evil minded.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Notice that the meaning of "objectivity" has changed. Objectivity is a self-claimed virtue. The reporter says, "I'm for human rights," as he calls for the destruction of Israel, the only democracy in the region. He says, "I believe in the defense of the most helpless," as he sneers at pro-life people. He says, "I'm objective," as he works out how to fulfill his political objective.

I agree, "objectivity" as a shield against the charge of bias. Worse, they are intellectually shallow, familiar with popular opinion and ideas but unable to do more than articulate them. They avoid at all costs a debate, prefering ambush journalism and the 10 second sound bite to a live in-depth interview. Circle Jerk is the perfect description of the way they provide cover for each other and now they are Obama's Enforcers^tm.