The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades, Upon further reflection of Comrade 7.62's, Self-Criticizism Recertification Campaign, I find I am not being outraged enough on a daily basis. A good progressive can always find something to be outraged about, from kapitalist pigs to thoughtcriminal Limbaugh. So today I resolve to be a better progressive and find something to be outraged about daily. Please feel free to join me, as once you find something outrageous, you can then denounce the party responsible for your outrage.

I am outraged that Amerikkkans prefer soft toilet paper rather than more ecologically friendly recycled toilet paper or the Wall Street Journal. When will we learn that we just cannot cut down every tree just so we can baby our little tushies! Our arrogance in using up all of the planets resources for our comfort will be the end of us!

http://www.allheadlinenews.com/articles/7014240300

Kind of jumping the gun, there, aren't we, Red Jim? As you well know, February is National Denounce a Comrade Month. March is National Trivial and Insane Outrage Month. I DENOUNCE RED JIM FOR RUSHING THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS!

I don't agree, recent cut-backs among the Party's apparatchik has left me using an Aztec Calender. According to my calender we are at 1 deer, 13 reed which put's me safely at March 1st. If the Party gave me the Aztec calender to use then it must be correct, no? Once again I outraged to think you would denounce me when I am following the calender supplied by Party! I DENOUNCE BRAIN IN JAR FOR DENOUNCING OUTRAGE POST CALCULATED BY PARTY SUPPLIED AZTEC CALENDER.

Now, I must get back to work calculating my tithing for the Party, if I don't get it in by 1 lizard 15 earthquake, I'll get a nasty invitation around 1 death, 1 crocodile.

Perhaps Comrade Red Jim is simply using People's Math? That is so say, numbers mean to him whatever will work best for what he is proposing. Of course when that runs afoul of other comrades using People's Math, then things get interesting.

Anyhow I will wait a day or so to come up with my trivial offenses, as my People's Math is not as good as Comrade Jim's and I still see it is National Denounce A Comrade Month. So I denounce Red Jim for failing at People's Math.

Okay, I'll admit I have trouble with numbers, it's what got me fired from Lehman Brothers, AIG and Washington Mutual. That was one hell of a month! I'll submit to re-education camp for the numerically impaired immediately.

I don't agree, recent cut-backs among the Party's apparatchik has left me using an Aztec Calender. According to my calender we are at 1 deer, 13 reed which put's me safely at March 1st.

"I don't care who you are, that's funny right there."

Ivan Betinov wrote:

I don't agree, recent cut-backs among the Party's apparatchik has left me using an Aztec Calender. According to my calender we are at 1 deer, 13 reed which put's me safely at March 1st.

"I don't care who you are, that's funny right there."

"Git 'er done!"

Yes,I am embarrassed that I know this phrase.
And you ought to be denounced(once again) for quoting such a low-brow comic.

_{I do still have a crush on you,even thought I think you are in need of denouncement.....Please,for Lenin's sake,do not tell Miss Pinkie.}

Obamissar 7.62 wrote:Perhaps Comrade Red Jim is simply using People's Math? That is so say, numbers mean to him whatever will work best for what he is proposing. Of course when that runs afoul of other comrades using People's Math, then things get interesting.

That's because besides PeopleMath(TM) there's also a principle of PartyRazor(TM), meaning that the explanation of any phenomenon should use any plausible assumption, eliminating those that do not advance the revolution and class struggle, or contradict the most recent plausible assumptions made by the Party leadership that have become the CurrentTruth(TM) (e.g., the current economic crisis is Bush's fault, etc.)

Thus, conservatives oppose welfare state because they want minorities to suffer, Bush delayed help to New Orleans because he wanted thousands of black people dead, the Iraq war started because Halliburton wanted to steal their oil, and Americans are using soft toilet paper because they hate this planet and can't wait to see its destruction.

Ah, the classic rebuttal of racism! As I was stroking myself while reading the Newsweek with "We are all Socialists Now!" on the cover, I stumbled on an article describing how The One's best chance of getting a super-lib in the Court Supreme (not to be confused with Taco Supreme, which is something totally different) would be to select an hispanic lib because if the conservatives rallied against his choice, libs could just claim racism in an effort to block the first hispanic justice. Hell, it worked for The One

Now who REALLY is practicing racial discrimination (making decisions based on race rather than merit or other factors) here? THE INTOLERANT CONSERVATIVES OF COURSE!!! What The Party uses is Affirmative Action!

Commissar Obamissar Vodkavich
Commissar of Obamissars, Gulags, and Car Wash Products
Not to be confused with The Criminally Insane Vodkov

I do still have a crush on you,even thought I think you are in need of denouncement.....Please,for Lenin's sake,do not tell Miss Pinkie.

It'll be our secret. I like the shape of my jar just like it is.

Ivan Betinov wrote:

I do still have a crush on you,even thought I think you are in need of denouncement.....Please,for Lenin's sake,do not tell Miss Pinkie.

It'll be our secret. I like the shape of my jar just like it is.

Thanks.

I'm outraged that the song in this GE commercial, makes me visualize V.P. Joe Biden.







It makes me guilty of Thought Crime^tm. Now I have to denounce myself yet again.

To every hope
change change change
there is a season
change change change
and a time to every purpose
under Obama

A time to denouce
a time to purge
a time to spend
a time to tax
a time to smoke
a time to quit
a time to hope,
a time to change...

and a time to every purpose
under ACORN

A time to vote
A time to vote
A time to vote
A time to vote
A time to vote
A time to vote