The People's Cube - Political Satire

**3/28/2009, 9:09 pm**

/poorly fitting mask hanging loosely around neck

I'm organizing a Tax Day Tea Party in my home town.

The historical Tea Party was an effort inspired by a 3% tax imposed by King George.
White men impersonating indians trashed tea into the harbor in what must have been a glorious effort to right wrongs. It inspired a revolution.

Some of the Tea Parties I've watched on the tube show women and girly men ill equipped to negotiate a shallow bank to toss a Lipton tea at the water's edge.

Plaaaaaaaa

My idea is to use my air cannon named Second Amendment to fire charges of tea and flour into targets identified as Porkulus, Stimulus, and Debt and various versions on the theme. Projectiles impacting happily near a buring flame which causes a significant, thrilling and a crowd pleasing fireball.

(About as manly as you can get in this day and age)

We hope to video, take pics and post the outing on Youtube.

What we are lacking is a mission statement to place on flyers around town.
I'm too militant and too PCubed to speak the language of the local folk who actually believe in Faith Hope and Change. I fear my actions will paralyze the event by posting fact or truth.
I want to bring the folk together not inspire them into inaction.

Some of my unsatifactory ideas are as follows:

"Never let a serious crisis go to waste. Tax day, April 15th is an opportunity to exercise your civil liberty."

"Ponzi Schemes: Your Future is Spent"

"The peasants are doing more than murmuring. We're revolting." (Never mind the double meaning)

Regardless, I have no doubt my fellow townspeople will miss any effort at political satire, lampooning or truly what is happening to our nation.

What I'm asking for is some ideas for a "Mission Statement" inspiring attendance a uncommon Tea Party. I don't want to turn off the minds of the unwashed masses who are actually expecting Faith Hope and Change.

Can any offer some ideas? ......or wipe the floor with my spineless and brainless corpse.

Tks

Nav

**3/28/2009, 10:27 pm**

Comrade,

With that much land, you must live in a Red State. 0bama will probably send someone round to redistribute it for you shortly. I suggest you quickly form an NGO/NPO with a title like "Thrust 0bama" that officially is meant to empower 0bama (to thrust forward his progressive policies) but actually fill your coffers with others' wealth while the getting's good.

**3/29/2009, 12:42 am**

I not much of a slogan/mission statement person. However, I did happen upon this interesting tidbit for Tea Party organizers:

Via Instapundit -- A fellow traveler wrote:
I attended the invigorating protest outside Congressman Dennis Moore's Overland Park, Kansas office yesterday.

I hoped 10-15 souls might show up. I was thrilled to see hundreds. Here are some suggestions. I don't really want my name used. Sadly, it could really hurt my business, which is already hurting.

As a professional media producer, here are my concerns:

1. Incoherent message - the signs were all over the place. There were lots of agendas. That's fine. The color and signage look good on TV.
But, when it came to the microphone - the overall message was tepid and unsure.

2. Create a theme - like “We want Senator So-and-So to resign for voting for this bill.” Or, “We want the Stimulus Repealed!” “Start Over.” Have a definitive purpose to your Assembly. A central theme will also help public speakers to focus. And don't be afraid to personalize this. Put it on your Senators, Congress people, and the President. That's what they are doing to anyone who objects.

3. Speakers not prepared for the media - the organizer was asked to name some specific objectionable items in the stimulus. She couldn't do it. I doubt many of us could.
If you are an organizer, or the “face” of the event - take an hour to prepare. You don't need to know everything about the stimulus. Just find 2 or 3 things - hard facts - you can point to and credibly say - these are wrong, wasteful spending items. Or, these items grow government, not the economy. It is critical.

4. Pass out talking points, just in case Joe or Jane Protestor gets buttonholed by a reporter.

5. This is all about image. If we don't present the media with a professional, organized and, unfortunately, scripted image, they are going to make their own, and it won't be favorable.

6. Recruit some help to pack the area around people being interviewed for background. God love the guy in the crazy Uncle Sam suit, and we certainly need the Minute Men, but these folks will quickly become THE story because they are colorful or controversial i.e., Good TV. Welcome their support. Maybe give them a minute on the mic. But I recommend trying to pack in mainstream, boring looking, and diverse Americans around the camera. No offense to anyone. Anytime a TV camera comes out, a certain number and type of attention seeker will flock to it. Now is the time for Grandma and Grandpa, the Plumber, the Young Executive, and the Homeschooling Mom to flock to the camera as background. Don't be shy. Remember, how do you want your cause to be presented by the media? As crazies? Or as Concerned Neighbors?

7. Have an Agenda and a Time. We're going to Assemble at this Time. We're going to have a Sign-In Table. We're going to have a Sign-Making Area. We're going to have speakers at 10:30. We're going to March to the Senator's Office at this time and demand she resign. We're going to end with Chants, and a Call-to-Action for the next Protest. That, and Protestors want to know what's going on. If they become unsure, they leave. Organization wins, and it also intimidates the opposition. And the opposition is going to start showing up.

8. Share the Day's Agenda with the Media. You have to create your own press. The event in Overland Park was HUGE, but only one news station came out to cover it, and there's not even a photo in today's Sunday paper. Sell it to them. They love good stories.
That's it. I hope this helpful. These things are only going to get bigger, and people need to realize that a great responsibility comes with this wonderful opportunity. Get a Message. And Get It Out.

A little too organized, but all the same there are some very good points in there -- depending on how big your protest is going to be, I guess.

**3/29/2009, 12:41 pm**

Excuse this observation comrade, but wouldn't your cannon be more effective in persuading the ruling Junta if it used gunpowder instead of compressed air. Not to mention the use of tea bags full of lead and scrap iron.

As you see I've been experimenting along similar lines. The gun launches beer cans filled with concrete nearly a mile and I've had great fun emptying those cans of their original contents in order to make more ammo.

**3/29/2009, 1:07 pm**

Comrade Whoopie,
I'm well versed in the launching of adult beverages.
The smell of hoppes settling upon the land after impact is like catnip.
Certainly, the air cannon is dual purpose. When they outlaw gunpowder, lets hope air doesn't get outlawed as well.

Chairman Punchenko,

Your input will be studied profusely. It encompasses what I was looking for.

Comrad_Tovarich, Your observation is correct. But .... we are surrounded by if not under attack by blues.

In light of all the input, my flyer will read as follows.

Budwiser at Steve's House Tax Day April 15th at 6 PM

As we all know, when you say 'Budwieser", you've said it all.

Thanks group!

**3/29/2009, 1:09 pm**

I denounce Whoopie and Navigator for having artillery when I have none!

**3/29/2009, 1:32 pm**

Obamissar 7.62,
Great nic BTW!

Still, despite several years at Thought Training Camp, I nearly fell for your test.

For a moment I considered, why ...I can earn a fortune producing these cannons for The People!
Everybody can own one.
Then I realized selling an oxymoron during a time of Faith Hope and Change is not conducive to good health.

**3/29/2009, 6:44 pm**

Speaking for myself comrade Navigator, I'd rather have your oxymoron than the oxycontin of "change" that the ruling Junta is peddling.

Btw: I've been told that a couple handfuls of 3/8" steel hexnuts make a great crowd dispersal tool when the opposition shows up intending to pry your cannon from your cold dead fingers.

Remember, the Texas War of Independence started when some Mexican troops tried to confiscate a cannon from a group of Texican settlers. They didn't get the gun, but they did get the shot.

The People's Cube - Political Satire

Home Town Tax Day Tea Party