The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades,

It has just been announced ... the Model P ... the next great "Vehicle for the People". GM aka Government Motors^TM has just released the image and specifications for the Model P or "Pelowski".


Straight from turn of the century technology, the "Pelowski" has state of the art features:

• 25 MPG (better than yesterdays SUVs)
  
• new 5 gallon tank, allowing you to fully use your state-issued gasoline ration card
  
• top speed of 35 MPH ... nearly twice as fast as a horse
  
• state of the art "electric" headlight (2nd one optional)
  
• "B.Frank" hot air blower
  
• optional "Mary Jo" floatation device under rear seat
  
• "Tipsy Ted" anti-rollover devices standard on all deluxe models
  
• the best value for your money you're told you can afford
  
• any color you want, as long as it's NOT black (or a dark color like navy blue, etc)
  
• lubricated by 100% naturally synthetic "Gore" Snake Oil - greenhouse gas free
  
• Union Made - Party Approved^TM

At only $25,000 you too can be one of the masses on the list for getting one of these powerful machines. Order now and get a free compact spare tire.

Financing guaranteed for those who cannot afford it.

FINALLY, real automobile innovation! Since there's only one model, that means no more hassles of comparing features, options, warranties and price. I can't wait until I get approved for one in 5-7 years! I'll be the envy of same as all my comrades when I'm out driving it on those special odd numbered Saturdays when driving is permitted.

Solidarity 9-6347 wrote: I can't wait until I get approved for one in 5-7 years!

Hey, how did you get to the front of the line, Comrade???? You must know somebody very important in the Party!

Raznoehintsi Pewkov wrote: [*]any color you want, as long as it's NOT black (or a dark color like navy blue, etc)

Oh yes. In the USSR there were more colors than models. Even if you could get a car you could never get a black one. That was exclusively government color. This black P too, must be reserved for some important apparatchik.

Where does the battery go?

Armstrong steering? I like that!

This car is everything I've come to expect after years of a refined and well conditioned government.

How much is the undercoating, paint sealant and fabric protectant package? It'd be a steal at anything under $45K!

While the "Pelowski" has all of the turn-of-the-century state-of-the-art features, some of the last-century-model features have been purposefully omitted because they were deemed unnecessary or caused pollution.

Navigator wrote:Where does the battery go?

You don't need a battery with the "Pelowski" ... it has a very effective front crank to start the car. This way you get off your lazy rear and exercise ... because that's good for you and we know it.

Navigator wrote: How much is the undercoating, paint sealant and fabric protectant package? It'd be a steal at anything under $45K!

Remember the old addage comrade ... if you have to ask, you cannot afford*.


_{^{*FINANCING GUARANTEED FOR THOSE WHO CANNOT AFFORD IT.}}