The People's Cube - Political Satire

Ahmadinejad challenges Obama to debate at U.N.

After Bush declined the offer in 2006. When will the long-winded letters start? "Ahmadinejad Renews Call for Open Debate with US President," from the Fars News Agency, May 25:

"As I invited the US president to a debate in (my address to) the United Nations during my visit to New York in the past, I repeat my call for a debate (with the US president) to study the root causes of global problems and management and collective participation in (the establishment of) sustainable security and peace," Ahmadinejad told foreign reporters in a press conference at the presidential office here in Tehran today.

"The human being and powers should change their view about world management as this is the only way to establish sustainable peace," Ahmadinejad said, and added, "And a major part of this change should take place in the kind of look that the dominant ruling systems have over the world, and a new system should be created in the world equations."

Ahmadinejad offered Bush a televised debate before he traveled to the United Nations in 2006, a proposal that was spurned by the White House which said the suggestion was not serious.

Comrades, it shall indeed be a joyous occasion, this exhibition of all-powerful, progressive intellect and guidance by 2 of the worlds most glorious, progressive leaders. This exhibition shall surely serve to illuminate and enlighten the entire world!

However, there would be a problem with the standard debate format that would prevent the exhibition from occurring on equal footing for poor comrade leader Ahmadinejad. Once comrade leader Ahmadinejad actually sees the glorious One in person, observes that radiant, glowing halo eminating from his Oneness, it shall surely cause a mighty, unstoppable tingle to begin in the upper thigh of comrade leader. As the tingle progresses into a full blown Obamagasm for comrade leader Ahmadinejad, that will surely distract and disrupt the course of intellectual exhibition.

Thus, each master debater should be required to wear the progressive tinfoil bag, as graciously modeled here by our briliiant intellectual comrade DR Barfalo:

Comrade leader Ahmadinejad will thus be properly prevented from directly gazing upon The One in person, and thus the intellectual exhibition could properly proceed.

And since the TOTUS is being held for ransom currently by our glorious, anti-western islamic brothers in arms, the tinfoil bag shall then serve double duty as a surrogate TOTUS, a proper instrument capable of tuning and receiving transmissions from our glorious hero space dog, comrade Laika! Laika's comforting transmissions can serve as a subsistute for the TOTUS for our glorious leader until the real TOTUS is ransomed and returned home.

All hail the coming of the World of Next Tuesday™!

But comrade, you can't have a debate when both parties are in total agreement.

Israel must go and the Middle East needs a nuke to make it equal in the eyes of the world.

Of course Obama can't admit that's how he really feels and he can't argue against that point of view unless he relies heavily on his teleprompter and interjects plenty of ummms and ahhhs in his rebuttals.

Dear People's Cube,

I must respectfully decline the wearing of the tin foil bag. I am, after all, the Light of Islam! I am not for needing protection, others are.

Be sure and say hi to the Fraulein for me. She's the one who gives me tingles.

Sincerely,
Mahmoud

Oh my. When reading letter from Mahmoud, light came streaming down from heaven into my room, even though curtain was shut. I can only imagine what may happen to Fraulein when she reads.

What form do I need to fill out to bribe gain the limo concession for the event?

Turbo Goat? Those wild and wacky Iranian's always have the best rides.