The People's Cube - Political Satire

I am sorry to report thatRoh Moo-hyun purged himself, like all good comrades should, a few days ago..

...tens of thousands of mourners journeyed Sunday to the southern village where former President Roh Moo-hyun killed himself by jumping off a rocky cliff overlooking his home.

"What's left for me for the rest of my life is just to be a burden to others,"Roh wrote in a note on his computer minutes before leaving for the final hike to Owl's Rock with a security guard. "Don't be too sad.Aren't life and death both part of nature? Don't feel sorry. Don't blame anybody. It's destiny."

Roh's suicide, just 15 months after he left office, came as he and his family faced intense questioning about $6 million given to the Rohs during his presidency by a Seoul businessman implicated in a number of bribery scandals.

The allegations weighed heavily on a man who prided himself on his "clean" record in a country struggling to shake a tradition of corruption.

...several top officials, including the prime minister, were turned away from the mourning rites for the liberal ex-leader, who had a fractious relationship with conservative opponents his supporters accuse of driving Roh to his death. They pelted a bus carrying conservative politicians with eggs and doused lawmakers with water.

Don't worry, comrades. I assure you, from my post here in the illegitimate southern breakaway region of the DPRK, that Premier Roh is perfectly fine. He left on a small fishing vessel for the DPRK shortly before his henchmen had a body double thrown over the cliff. He will transfer to Macao, where he keeps his bank accounts full of millions of dollars in bribes and embezzled funds, in a few days for his retirement.

Meow, Comrade Roh sends word that he is still on for the "meeting" next Tuesday at his secret retirement dacha.

He deserves the Vince Foster award for convenient self elimination.

The Star of Auto-Purging for The Common Good,™ gloriously inducting one into "The Order of Vince Foster."

Comrade Whoopie wrote:He deserves the Vince Foster award for convenient self elimination.

Don't you mean a Darwin award?

No, "The Order of Darwin" is a prole-only award for the heroic act of Saving The Planet(TM) through depopulation and improving the gene pool by auto-purging in a completely accidental method of great stupidity selflessness.

Right, I know what a Darwin award is, I figured since he improved the Progressive gene pool by removing his AmeriKKKan liking self from the pool.

Merciful Kim Jong-Il wrote:

...several top officials, including the prime minister, were turned away from the mourning rites for the liberal ex-leader, who had a fractious relationship with conservative opponents his supporters accuse of driving Roh to his death. They pelted a bus carrying conservative politicians with eggs and doused lawmakers with water.

I thought that throwing water on one's political enemies was considered torture & against all known protocols of progressive conduct? Or is it only torture when evil RethugliKKKan shapeshifting lizard reactionaries douse water on terroristsman made disaster spreaders?

Someone should brief young Commissar Elliott on the history of Vince Foster and his Memorial Garden... Or would the better word here be "herstory"?

Commissar_Elliott wrote:Right, I know what a Darwin award is, I figured since he improved the Progressive gene pool by removing his AmeriKKKan liking self from the pool.

AmeriKKKan liking self?! Premier Roh?! It looks like someone received some extra vodka in their rations. Comrade Roh is the most anti-AmeriKKKan Korean president in Korean history. Being the most anti-US candidate was pretty much the entire platform that he won the presidency on.

Dr. Strangelove wrote:

Commissar_Elliott wrote:Right, I know what a Darwin award is, I figured since he improved the Progressive gene pool by removing his AmeriKKKan liking self from the pool.

AmeriKKKan liking self?! Premier Roh?! It looks like someone received some extra vodka in their rations. Comrade Roh is the most anti-AmeriKKKan Korean president in Korean history. Being the most anti-US candidate was pretty much the entire platform that he won the presidency on.

Oh, well, this explains a lot. Thank you Dr. Strangelove (or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb.)

Red Square wrote:Someone should brief young Commissar Elliott on the history of Vince Foster and his Memorial Garden... Or would the better word here be "herstory"?

That's what Wikipedia is for comrade, I got the joke behind it now.