The People's Cube - Political Satire

By Zampolit B. S. Blokhayev
Sr. Washington, DC Correspondent.
5 June, 2009

Washington, DC (TPC) - In an historical move today President (and General Secretary) B. Hussain Obama has declared a cessation of hostilities with the Soviet Union.



The President said "As we move our great nation onto the one true and most humane path of the enlightened teachings of Karl Marx, and transform into the United Soviet States of Amerika, it is time to forge a 'brotherhood of ideology' and partner with our old comrades in the Soviet Union.". When correspondents informed President and General Secretary Obama that the Soviet Union collapsed in 1991, he replied "That is why I have sent a letter to Russian Prime Minister Putin and Russian President Medvedev asking them to reconstitute and rebuild the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics. I told them that I feel the time is right to do this. Amerika is finally in lock step with the Soviet Union.".



Sources inside the Kremlin, who wish to remain anonymous, said that when Prime Minister Vladimir Putin read the letter he exclaimed "Is this political lightweight crazy???". Other sources said that President Medvedev was laughing so hard that he was in tears.

Spokespersons for the Democratic National Committee applauded the move as "a bold, fresh step towards liberating the world from the evils of capitalism.". The DNC HQ was a buzz with activity at the news of this. Marxist power brokers and owners of the DNC, The People's Cube, have yet to comment on the Presidents plans.

So far, a random sampling of the Amerikan proletariat shows that 99.999999999999% of the population approve of the President's plan. Naturally, a hand full of reactionary, running dog imperialist, counter-revolutionaries were encountered. However, they were turned over to the President's Civilian National Security Force (CNSF) and were executed on site.

Executions are too good for those imperialist pigs. I submit we torture them by subjecting them to endless speeches from our beloved comrades Pelosi and Reed. Not that it would be torture for us to hear such enlightened utterances mind you.

(Patiently awaiting the rumored superior Cuban Health Care System to creep north.)

I hope that that random sampling of the proletariat was a sampling in name only. Why, in Lenin's name, would anyone actually bother polling people? Nansky never asks what people think. She just does. And our rock-star president...now that he's President for Life he doesn't ask what people think, just what the TelePrompTer thinks.

I suppose that a poll looks good. But really, aren't polls, rather outdated? We know that voting is. Thank Lenin that foolishness is over with.

Yes, yes, the Komrade Premier still has a lot to learn... polls do look good! In the DDR, we always had virtually 100% voter turnout at the polls... or else. And virtually all of them voted along Socialist Unity Party of Germany lines. Glorious times, glorious times.

But with the rebirth of the UdSSR, perhaps we can have another June 17? It was a glorious day, when the proletariate fought back the invading imperialist tanks with rocks, just as the German heroes protected Warsaw from the invasion of the zionists a decade or so earlier. This event was precursor to the erection of antifascist protection wall. My people could now live in peace and harmony, or else.

Ah yes, the celebrations. I will arrange to take a day off from my work in the tractor factory.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:I hope that that random sampling of the proletariat was a sampling in name only. Why, in Lenin's name, would anyone actually bother polling people? Nansky never asks what people think. She just does. And our rock-star president...now that he's President for Life he doesn't ask what people think, just what the TelePrompTer thinks.

I suppose that a poll looks good. But really, aren't polls, rather outdated? We know that voting is. Thank Lenin that foolishness is over with.

Comrade Herr Doktor Theocritus, Of course that was not a poll of any kind!!! I did what the DNC's P.R. Dept. (ABC, NBC, CBS, and CNN) does. I just pulled some numbers out of my ass.

--
ZB

Zampolit Blokhayev wrote:Comrade Herr Doktor Theocritus, Of course that was not a poll of any kind!!! I did what the DNC's P.R. Dept. (ABC, NBC, CBS, and CNN) does. I just pulled some numbers out of my ass.

Comrade Zampolit, this comrade was will to grant that perhaps you had consulted the pollsters of ACORN to arrive at those numbers, either way, the results are the same. Certainly, those pollsters would have needed the protection of the Brownshirts CNSF cadets, in case counter-revolutionary opposition to the OMessiah's Five Year Plan was met.

This comrade is most disappointed in the picture you chose of Comrade Prime Minister Putin, he would have prefered the manly one:
Es muy macho, si?

Notice how Putin has taken up modeling classes, or ought to take up modeling classes. Perhaps he can get the Governator to give him posturingposing lessons.

But something must be done about Putin. He told His O'liness that he, sorry, <b>He</b> should not rely on government to be the solution for everything.

Which we know is heresy. I think we should open some Jiffi-Lobos in Moscow.