The People's Cube - Political Satire

What I want to know is, how come fascist Amerikkka can't even deliver clean water to its prisoners....and yes, we are ALL prisoners of the filthy corporate state.

Look at what North Korean flight attendants tell their passengers about their water:

"Aside from protecting us at the front and the rear, our great leader Kim Jong Il, the benevolent father of the people, showed us mercy by filtering the water. And, in order to help and care about the health of our people, he progressively practiced appropriate measures. Now, in North Korea, the land of pure hope, the people can gracefully drink clean water through the endless love of the great leader comrade Kim Jong Il."

Did you get that? Unlike that Bushitlerburton swine, North Korea has a leader who is great, benevolent, merciful, helpful, caring, progressive, hopeful, and loving.

You have no idea how angry I am at the predator pigs who run the so-called airlines of Amerikkka.

Smash the fascist state!

And now...the first verse of the North Korea National Anthem (in the Korean language):

아침은 빛나라 이 강산
은금에 자원도 가득한
삼천리 아름다운 내 조국
반만년 오랜 력사에
찬란한 문화로 자라난
슬기론 인민의 이 영광
몸과 맘 다 바쳐 이 조선
길이 받드세

Translation:
Let morning shine on the silver and gold of this land,
Three thousand leagues packed with natural wealth.
My beautiful fatherland.
The glory of a wise people
Brought up in a culture brilliant
With a history five millennia long.
Let us devote our bodies and minds
To supporting this Korea forever.

Wonderful to know that North Korea is pressing on with the right state!

Vladimir Ivanov

Lenora Fullome wrote:What I want to know is, how come fascist Amerikkka can't even deliver clean water to its prisoners....and yes, we are ALL prisoners of the filthy corporate state.

Look at what North Korean flight attendants tell their passengers about their water:

"Aside from protecting us at the front and the rear, our great leader Kim Jong Il, the benevolent father of the people, showed us mercy by filtering the water. And, in order to help and care about the health of our people, he progressively practiced appropriate measures. Now, in North Korea, the land of pure hope, the people can gracefully drink clean water through the endless love of the great leader comrade Kim Jong Il."

Did you get that? Unlike that Bushitlerburton swine, North Korea has a leader who is great, benevolent, merciful, helpful, caring, progressive, hopeful, and loving.

You have no idea how angry I am at the predator pigs who run the so-called airlines of Amerikkka.

Smash the fascist state!

Comrades...

Ummm... I don't mean to throw cold water on this one - filtered or otherwise, but in this one instance, if "flight attendants", "filtered water", and "benevolence" are mentioned in the same sentence, it may not be a bad thing... even if it is Pukchoson... New Scientist - Vol. 188, No. 2523, page 5: Dangerous levels of coliform bacteria have been found in drinking water aboard 15 % of 327 planes tested by the EPA at 19 airports.

I suspect the percentage reported is low, and that had they checked more airplanes, they would have found an higher percentage... Airlines have now agreed to disinfect water supplies and monitor quality (like they do the air on planes... snerk)...

Granted - a little clean water doesn't make up for the starvation of thousands upon thousands, or the "euthanization through neglect programme" for North Korean orphans whose parents have been imprisoned or put to death... the strain of mutant cheerleader virus... the forced labour... all the little human right's abuses that add up over time... fiddling while P'yongyang burns... but at least they don't have to drink faecal coliform...

Checking the bunker's well and tryin' to look on the bright side...
Sister Massively Opiated.

North Korea has a leader who is great, benevolent, merciful, helpful, caring, progressive, hopeful, and loving.

...and psychopathic, and crazy/insane, and geeky-looking with those huge glasses and weird hair, and about to be incinerated, and on and on....

Kommissar Betty wrote:

North Korea has a leader who is great, benevolent, merciful, helpful, caring, progressive, hopeful, and loving.

...and psychopathic, and crazy/insane, and geeky-looking with those huge glasses and weird hair, and about to be incinerated, and on and on....

...not to mention he's a freeeeeak! with nukes...goddammit!

Kommissar Betty wrote:

North Korea has a leader who is great, benevolent, merciful, helpful, caring, progressive, hopeful, and loving.

...and psychopathic, and crazy/insane, and geeky-looking with those huge glasses and weird hair, and about to be incinerated, and on and on....

Private Pravda wrote: ...not to mention he's a freeeeeak! with nukes...goddammit!

Comrades, as Party members you must be aware that Kim Jong-il is the very best Leader in the history of the world. He is so perfect that he even played a perfect game of golf the very first time he played golf and is recognized and honored as the best golfer in the world! He is also the best author of fiction and non-fiction in the world and is the most important philosopher in the history of the world and also enjoys many other best things in the world. There is a reason why the Democratic People's Republic of Korea's official motto is:

Democratic People's Republic of Korea: Prosperous and Great Country!

and the official Coat of Arms is of industrialized greatness:



Their happy nation's greatness is a reflection of the wise marvelousness of kind, humble Kim Jong-il.

Comrades, your comments border on hooliganism. Hooliganism is always wrong and is very disruptive of civilized discourse. As such there are laws here against Hooliganism. Comrades, character counts, character counts, character counts!

Comrade Otis
Bluenose Communist Busybody for your own Darned Good.

Kommissar Betty wrote:

North Korea has a leader who is great, benevolent, merciful, helpful, caring, progressive, hopeful, and loving.

...and psychopathic, and crazy/insane, and geeky-looking with those huge glasses and weird hair, and about to be incinerated, and on and on....

Betski!

You cannot simply purge someone because they are geeky-looking and have huge glasses! Is not right and we, the children of The Cube, who look to our Kommissars for guidance on the path of rightness, cannot be taught to judge a psycopathic narcissistic mass-murdering diktator on the basis of appearance... if geeky glasses and bad hair were basis for purging, I would be purged this morning (well... afternoon... I sleep in after terrible windstorm of yesterday and weekend of monkey extract induced.. well.... can't remember a lot of it but Javier has many lash marks - I think he might have new tattoo but he left early for work and I wasn't awake in time for close inspection... and I think there is still staple I haven't found yet somewhere in my tongue... and bad Toronto weather makes my arthritis hurt so am very grumpy... sorry... not very focused today... where was I? oh yes...)...

....I would be purged as I have not yet put in contact lenses and glasses are geeky... have dispicable 'bed head' and so my 'weird'(?) bright red/orange dyed hair is sticking out at odd and quite frightening angles... and was late feeding cat... and though I have not murdered anyone that I remember, am not psycopath (at least, not when properly medikated), and am only narcissist when it comes to colour of hair and big nasty sh*t-kicking boots, by your criteria I would be purged (or at least sent to my gulag for being a baaaad gurl)....

I am bereft... if all that is required for purge-worthiness is bad hair and funny glasses, how will Comrade Otis ever allow Javier (6' 5" with geeky though not overly large glasses but freakishly long legs), Rat Thing (Octegenarian diabetic racoon-like feline.... no glasses), the dolphins (US Navy-trained... wearing geeky lazers and various other head-mounted weaponry) and I to come to Potyomkingrad - we are all a little odd in appearance, but are devoted to The Cause! And in my grief and confusion caused by weekend of experimentation and shock at Comrade Kommissar's seeming shallow criteria for purging, I have posted many heterodox comments in You may be guilty of thoughtcrime if ... section of The Cube... perhaps it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy and Red Square will see fit to purge me from the kollective... I am never touching monkey extract again!...

Sister Massively Opiated hates it when winter comes to Kanada... it becomes darker and darker... seasonal effective disorder sets in from lack of light... one cannot but help fixate on the length coming winter... all is depression... doom and gloom, leading to unwise decisions and altered states... I don't even feel like wearing knee-high leather boots, and there doesn't seem to be enough kava in the world to set things right...

I'm going to my gulag to lie on my mattress of fallen maple leaves and pull covers over my head until May Day...
S.M.O....

Comrade Fullome:
You are glorious for bringing this crucial point to our attention! Although the prisoners in this capitalist halliburton hell would be the peaceful and loving Guantanamo Bay prisoners. They are kept in beach prison with poor quality roast duck with mango chutney and absolutely abysmal rice pilaf that would make Comrade Uncle Ben turn in his blessedly austere slave grave. What are we to do? We, the Proletariat are slaves to the Bushitlerburton barons and we must shake off our shackles and get a taste of this incredibly pure water from our most exalted comrade - Great Leader Kim Jong-Il. As Chevy Chase declared that Cuba "works" and Comrade Penn described Hussein's Iraq "a peace loving state filled with happy kite flying children" - we must expose also the greatness that is North Korea.

Kommissar Betty- this is disturbing to myself and my comrades here at the Justiceburo that you judge a fellow Worker by the cut of his glasses or glorious hairstyle of the People! Further - he cannot help that his collection of clothing consists exclusively of Dr. Evil's wardrobe discards as he selflessly sacrifices all - including clothing of his own choosing in order to provide more resources for the People! You may need to report to the Ministry of Peace and the Ministry of Love in order to remove these inborn hostilities you seem to manifest without reasoning or cause.

And Comrade Massively Opiated - how shameful that you admit using hair dye - especially Red which could be used more properly to only colour our glorious banners of Peace, Equality and Fraternity! Your enthusiasm to color yourself Red is understood - but a waste of resources cannot be tolerated. Please report to the Resource Allocation Buro and confess said crimes along with the return of the remaining People's colour. Since you seemed well intentioned, you may use your monthly alotment of Victory Vodka before commencing to the Resource Allocation Buro. The decadent decorative boots you mentioned also cause concern amongst my fellow purge counselors and we may need to question you in person at some point. We will decide if such questioning is necessary and the time and place of its beginning.

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY!

Chistka Counselor wrote: And Comrade Massively Opiated - how shameful that you admit using hair dye - especially Red which could be used more properly to only colour our glorious banners of Peace, Equality and Fraternity! Your enthusiasm to color yourself Red is understood - but a waste of resources cannot be tolerated. Please report to the Resource Allocation Buro and confess said crimes along with the return of the remaining People's colour. Since you seemed well intentioned, you may use your monthly alotment of Victory Vodka before commencing to the Resource Allocation Buro. The decadent decorative boots you mentioned also cause concern amongst my fellow purge counselors and we may need to question you in person at some point. We will decide if such questioning is necessary and the time and place of its beginning.

FREEDOM IS SLAVERY!

Comrade Chistka Counselor,

Your vexation and displeasure with my use of Red Dye for hair, rather than banners, flags and handbills, is understandable, but please refer to Comrade Otis of the Politburo. I would not think of contradicting Comrade Chistka Counselor's wisdom, but while you were away hunting the People's Enemy - the non-existent Haleski, I have in fact, received orders from above to dye my blonde hair red as I have been recruited as the first Handi-capable member of the The People's Cube Radical Cheerleader Squad (if all were abled, might turn into Competitionism and since no one wants to beat the gimp, I keep playing field level... is genius, no?!?).

I was ordered forthwith, to present myself to the People's Salon for recolouring and re-edukation, and presented thereafter with my glorious Red Party Pom-poms. I am committing cheers to memory even as I type this, having had my official implant uploaded with chants and cheers honouring our Glorious Leader, The People's Cube, Potyomkingrad and the Red Planet, and the Politburo. Even now, my Jewish/Buddhist heritage is being overwritten, the Sabbath Blessing over the Bread, Wine and Candles, and the Prajna-Paramita being stricken from my consciousness to be replaced by Glorious Odes to the Young Cosmo-Pioneers of the Red Planet. As Kommissar Betty so kindly pointed out to me only last week (I think it was Kommissar Betty... Cheers are taking over parts of memory that were used for short/medium term recall), Ghandi was a Nazi, and I understand now in the very depths of my soul, rather than only intellectually, that all religions are the opiate of the masses.

I regret to inform Comrade Chistka Counselor that my ration of Victory Vodka was used, of necessity, as anaesthetic during trepanation and implant, but thank you for thinking so charitably of me.

Character Counts! Character Counts! Character Counts!
Sister Massively Opiated... rebooting...