The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades, this horrifying picture of my liveaboard sailboat and Revolutionary Assault Craft was taken about a month ago. I was moving into a different slip planning to seize the means of production for the oppressed workers that very day! When due to a rapidly falling spring tide the nefarious actions of Dick Cheney and his orbiting tide control sattelites and a poorly maintained channel RethugliKKKan plot I had to pull my boat into this slipwas forced in by crazed mutant ninja zombies from the RNC and was left high and dry for a few hours.

MY PLOT WAS RUINED! All my careful timing and scheming to seize the means of production FAILED! All we got was GM and a few banks instead. May Lenin have mercy on my souless corpse someday.

Surprise face! Comrade, what a glorious discovery, the Darth Cheney Tide Controlling Satellite. I think we should consult with Comrade Kim Jong Il, get one of his nukes to shoot that blasted RethugliKKKan piece of equipment down.

Colonel 7.62

Comrades, this horrifying picture of my liveaboard sailboat and Revolutionary Assault Craft was taken about a month ago.

I have some good news and some bad news. The bad news is your post highlights the sorry state our Peoples Navy is in at the present time. The events that lead to the neglect of our "Glorious Navy" are well known, as the party has used its coffers to spend on what it then considered higher priorities, then on ensuring that our fleet stay modernized and ready to deal at any time with any or all counter-revolutionary threats.

The good news though even though funding is meager I have been heavily involved in ensuring that the funds that are available have been put to good use. I have extensive background in Naval warfare and Tactics and have been part of a Party appointed team in developing our next generation of "Peoples Ships" to protect our glorious revolution.

I'm am sorry that the new ship wasn't available for you to use about a month ago in your planned assault, but I'm happy to report she has now passed her sea-trials and has been commissioned and now is at your disposal for future missions.

Colonel 7.62, I humbly Present the United Socialist Ship.......The U.S.S Bill Clinton






The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver , BC.
The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton ‘for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while president.
The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched or captured on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.
As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board. The 20 person crew is completely diversified, including members of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation. This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs!
An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may sound hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises that all apologies will sound very sincere.
The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defense, but instead in times of conflict the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada. The ship may be positioned near the Democratic National Party Headquarters for photo-ops and can be used extensively for social experimentation and whatever other worthless jobs the ex-commander-in-chief and his wife can think of.



( I'm also hoping that our efforts will result in a promotion for me to Commodore of the Peoples Fleet.........If you can sneak in the good word for me.......Hint, Hint, Hint)

I denounce Colonel 7.62 for:

A) Denouncing The Tides which we all know is a great progressive Foundation.
B) Darth Cheney had nothing to do with this! Chairman Zero promised and delivered!
Does not Colonel 7.62 remember those sacred words or does Pinkie need to adjust his tinfoil with a quick shovel thwack? King Canute was a dreamer, Obama is a Realist!
The Sea Level is being lowered by the Obamessiah!

Before January 20, 2009



After January 20, 2009



Comrades!
I rest my case in my denoucement of Colonel 7.62

Comrade Snoogie Woogums, your People's Aircraft Carrier is most equal. I like it.

And as far as the spaced out dog goes... Eh. Bite me. The tides come, and the tides go. That much is a given. BUT despite The One's promise to lower sea levels, he did not promise to totally lower them, or make them go away. THAT is the work of The Evil One.

THEREFORE, I must DENOUNCE Laika for crediting our beloved Chairman Obama with the work of The Evil One, Dick Cheney!

Comrade Colonel,

if I remember correctly, your Revolutionary Assault Craft is strategically positioned on the Puget Sound. On risk of being gulaged for blasphemy against The One, I suggest that Queen Christine was at work here. All man-made disaster vessels were literally grounded by her to raise awareness for the Orcas, and the Alaskan Way viaduct (which of course has nothing to do with man-made floaters but could still crumble to dust ANY SECOND NOW risking The Children.)

Hmmm perhaps Queen Chris was at work here after all. If that is the case, it would be the first thing she's done in her 5 years in office though. This sort of horrible reeking mess does seem her style.

Once again, he who shall remain un-named, speaks disparagingly of our beloved Foundation and belittles the work of our Savior, Barack Obama.

I ask you Comrades; how much blasphmy can the Party™ take from this aquatic Trotsky Creature from the Reactionary Lagoon?

It's bad enough he denounced The Tides, but a Barack denier? Next thing he'll spout from his evil yacht is that Global Warming is a hoax.

Repent now, you Barnacle Bathtub Bolshevik!

Laika the Space Dog

We in the People's Navy, have sent an emissary to the Colonel's yacht in an attempt to help resolve this little dispute you both are having at the moment.

Laika the Space Dog wrote:Once again, he who shall remain un-named, speaks disparagingly of our beloved Foundation and belittles the work of our Savior, Barack Obama.

I ask you Comrades; how much blasphmy can the Party™ take from this aquatic Trotsky Creature from the Reactionary Lagoon?

It's bad enough he denounced The Tides, but a Barack denier? Next thing he'll spout from his evil yacht is that Global Warming is a hoax.

Repent now, you Barnacle Bathtub Bolshevik!

Comrade Spaced Out Dog, once again I must denounce you for your twisted words and logic.

A complete lowering of the sea level would be an environmental disaster. Aside from the destruction of so many species, it would destroy the Gulf Stream, which in turn would lead to GLOBAL COOLING and a new ICE AGE. This is un proggish, and therefore the work of The Evil One.

A partial lowering of the sea as Chairman Obama proposes is harmless and beneficial, but would still not leave a boat completely high and dry along the coasts as you show. Obama will save us, but he would not leave on of his children's boats high and dry either. He is most wise that way. Now let us bow our heads and pray. Our Father Who Art in DC.....