The People's Cube - Political Satire

Steven Soderbergh has done the prog community a great favor by releasing the hagiographic movie Che. In only four and a half hours Soderbergh shows Che Guevara seated on a horse, dispensing justice, healing the sick, fighting corruption, and levitating off the ground. Strangely missing are mass murder, but what are a few corpses among friends?

Despite the glowing reviews of the movie by progs, people just are not flocking to see it. The movie cost $58 million to make it has only grossed $1,497,109. This will not do.



All made progressives are hereby instructed to see Che at least five times. Order the DVD. Have Che parties. We must support Che.

It would be a shame if Kelly and Jen did more Che spotting than was done in a theater in four and a half hours in a movie all about him.

Comrade Theocritus!

It is not the box office that counts but who counts the box office!
You forgot one decimal and 5 zeros.
The revised figure according to Party™ record keeping is now $1,497,109,000.00

Laika, it seems that there was a slight malfunction in the counting. Al the Chicago poll employees were in training for the next, and last, election in the United States of AmeriKKKa and could not be spared to count the gate at the movie theater.

Maybe Jen and Kelly need to do a little more overhulling with their Che spotting, like post on their site, "We saw the movie Che, and we love it (blah, blah, blah. . . Airheaded gobbledygook)"

(off)
First off, this is hilarious, about $1,000,000 for a $58 million film? Ha!

Second, they could probably gross better profits if they have SOBama in there helping Che with the Revolution.

They ought to have asked for a federal bailout. Why not? It's all the rage.

That would be a great idea!

Would it be a prog act to download a bootleg of this film? I don't want to *pay* to see Che.

I should think that it would be entirely prog. And in no case should the purchase of the DVD be taxable--in Texas medicines, even aspirin, are not taxable. And it is said to be soporific.

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Would it be a prog act to download a bootleg of this film? I don't want to *pay* to see Che.

1st off: Theocritus is right, it would be very progressive to get "Che" "illegally".

2nd: I think Che himself would be proud if you download his movie, in any way shape or form, because what is yours, is mine, and what's mine is mine yours.

Hmmm so actually I'm doing harm to the Che idea if I pay to see this 4.5 hour waste of time? So I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't. Mebbe I should avoid it all together LOL

If you avoid it, that is a call for a thoughtcrime.

See, I'm damned if I pay, damned if I download, and damned if I don't go. The perfect prog storm. I get to feel guilty no matter what!

I have the perfect catch for you (no, not a catch-22, though I could make it one), get Che on some format (digital or physical), but don't watch it. This way, no one would suspect anything, and you wouldn't have to watch it.

Hmmm and when someone talks about this scene or that line, I could just nod my head and say "Che was such a wonderful human being wasn't he?"

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Hmmm so actually I'm doing harm to the Che idea if I pay to see this 4.5 hour waste of time? So I'm damned if I do, and damned if I don't. Mebbe I should avoid it all together LOL

Comrade Colonel, I have an easy solution to your dilemma that will ease your collective guilt levels as well as enlighten you, AND do something for The Common Good!

Instead of paying to watch a movie, pay to watch another movie and then sneak into "Che." This is the same class warfare stealth tactics Comrade Mikhail Moore advised young impressionable minds to do. Deceiving your enemies to advance your goal of world domination is a regularly applied weapon in the global jihad against everything!

<a href="https://www.mtv.com/movies/news/article ... y.jhtml</a>

Of course, if movie is no longer in State Film Houses, stealing it of the internet is just fine as it will advance our cause. Just be civil and moderate about the theft...

Che is the perfect date movie. There is time for everything, and I mean everything. Just think of all the little Prog babies that will be conceived and named after him as a result.

Colonel 7.62

Hmmm and when someone talks about this scene or that line, I could just nod my head and say "Che was such a wonderful human being wasn't he?"

I have a suggestion, just send one of your fine members from the Revolutionary Squad to see this cinematic masterpiece. Then have write an official report to you on the plot and key points of the film.

That way you will be covered and will not be embarrassed if a fellow Comrade asks you if you seen Che and what you thought about it. Hope this solves your issue.





After ya get the report could ya scan that bad boy and send it to me? I'd rather sit in a damn dental chair having my teeth drilled for 4 and half hours then to sit through this schlock of a movie. I need to CYA my butt also in case some Comrade 'doubts' my true love for Che.

Commissar, of course this fine cinematic masterpiece has not been release to the full foreign market yet.... and once it wins The Golden Glob it will be more risque than John Waters underwear.... so no matter that it is longer than Gettysburg Address and as glorious as "Thelma & Louise Do Rome"... when The Dead Man Walks... he walks with Che!

Leninka wrote:Che is the perfect date movie. There is time for everything, and I mean everything. Just think of all the little Prog babies that will be conceived and named after him as a result.

Ah yes. The little red-diaper babies. Babies born not with a silver spoon in their mouths but a S&W. To shoot people.

But here's my problem. Since the movie is <i>so</i> soporific, is it date rape. Could the movie be called a roofie by other means?

Comrades,

Property rights are a mere social construct meant to hold us down, so by all means, grab that full DVD version of "Che" from Bit Torrent. You know the producers, investors, actors, et al will understand because they did it for The Cause.

I do have a question though: Does the movie contain much rock music? Comrade Che was very clear about how the earwig decadence of rock music that spreads capitalism, intoxication, and fornication (OK for Che, of course, but not for the rest of us toiling in the sugar cane fields).

Perhaps I'm backsliding as a prog, but if it's all acceptable stuff like Pete Seeger, Woody Guthrie, and Rage Against the Machine, I'm opting for mute and subtitling.

I think that a good prog would steal <i>Che</i> and listen to it over Peter, Paul and Mary singing "Puff, the Magic Dragon."

Being a prole of little means and big guns, I will personally steal procure Che from Bit Torrent and sell it to all Kapitalist willing to bite buy! This would be the legacy Che himself would hope for... subvert the Kapitalists at the expense of their pocketbook, sell them the rope to hang themselves!

Che is a glorious film! What's a few missed mass killings here, a few missed racist ideologies there, a few missed Mother's begging for the lives of their loved ones only to be clubbed, raped and maimed. It was BUSH'S FAULT!!!

Che is glorious! And so is Che Spotting! O-my-gawwwwd! Did I tell you that just yesterday I spotted Che!?! No kidding! IT WAS LIKE SO COOOOOL.....

RR, you spotted <i>Che</i>?!!! I'm like, so, plotzing. My heart is going pit-a-pat that someone I know spotted Che.

You know my biggest hope is that sometime I'll be in a big Vegas casino and all that French-sounding music will stop, there will be a whistle into the PA, and a deep bass voice will rumble, "Che is in the building."

Commissar Theocritus wrote: But here's my problem. Since the movie is <i>so</i> soporific, is it date rape. Could the movie be called a roofie by other means?

The only difference between this movie and a roofie, is the victim will remember most of it.

Not if he bangs himself on the head with a mallet.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:Not if he bangs himself on the head with a mallet.

Well, true. I was removing all variables but the "drug" and the rape.