The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades,

I have long striven to work for the greater good of the PublicGood™ to which end I invite you, with the gulag's encouragement, to propose slogans to help raise awareness and support for 0bamaCare. A few follow:

In keeping with Hope™ and Change™:

1. Cope and Mange
   
2. Despair and Same
   
3. Dying Hope for a Bedpan Change
   
4. Wait and Wait

Others:

1. Sieg Health!
   
2. Patients of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your health!
   
3. Patients of the world, unite! Or you will be fined, put in chains, and thanked for your organ donation(s).
   
4. Euthanasia: Keeping Americans in America.
   
5. Bringing the empowerment of diversity to the ER.
   
6. I care, you care; we all share for 0bamaCare!
   
7. A wise Latina is worth an MD.
   
8. Yes, we can move you up the queue if that's a donation to the DNC.

Bozomba Care: Clowning around with your health
We are Sick, Sick, Sick, like we're sociologically SICK! (oh wait, I stole that)
Patients of the World Unite! We Are The Lab Mice For The Government Cheese.
Nurse Michelle Obama Ratchett Wants You!
The New Going Postal, Bozomba Care!
America, World Wide Medical Inequality Got You Down, Next Stop The W.H.O!
Prosthetics-R-Us: The Final Solution for Everthing that Ails You!
I went to an Obama Clinic and all I got was this stupid Prosthetic.
I went to Planned Parenthood and all I got was this stupid coat hanger. (bad!)
0bamaCare: Castrati0n Y0u Can C0unt 0n.

0bamaCare: Multicultural Medicine For The Masses: Witchdoctors, Shamans, Soothsayers, Available Only!

Comrade Red Rooster,

Glorious!

How's this for a birth control slogan targeting hormone-driven straight males, a slogan that will also benefit dumbed down progressive educational facilities by allowing cuts in mathematics so diversity training can be enhanced?

My digit is now 0!

1. The One a day keeps the doctor away.
   
2. Lines? We don't acknowledge no stinkin' lines!
   
3. While waiting, please enjoy a free copy of The Audacity of Hope.
   
4. Go to the back of the line. Next.
   
5. That's above my pay grade. Next.
   
6. Learn to live with it.
   
7. Find your inner ailment and reach out to it to cure yourself.
   
8. Our Accelerated Doctors and Nurses program accepts life experience. What could be more important in a trained medical professional?
   
9. Take two aspirin and call us in the morning.
   
10. You break it, you fake it, we buy it.

Surgeon General Warning!
This Health Care Product has been known to produce higher
death rates among the American population for the same reason
that the War on Poverty, War on Drugs, The Department of Motor Vehicles,
Work to Welfare, WIC, Welfare in general and any other failed socialist program
that has never worked. Too Bad. You are now more "at risk".

Theodoric of York, Surgeon General

Y'know, Tovarich...it seems to me that a real part of the stimulus plan should be that every American gets a free copy of The Audacity of Hope and Dreams of My Father. Of course, the government would have to buy these (which generates appropriate wealth for His Obamaness), providing employment for the toiling masses at the press, then the government would have to ship them, providing employment for postal workers, and every American would then be able to read the Glorious Words of the Glorious Leader. And it wouldn't cost anybody anything, because the government would pay for it! (Did I mention that it would make Obama lots and lots of money?)

This is a Mathematical equation based on Quantitative Thinking™, no?

EQUATION:

1. The One a day keeps the doctor away.
   
2. Lines? We don't acknowledge no stinkin' lines!
   
3. While waiting, please enjoy a free copy of The Audacity of Hope.
   
4. Go to the back of the line. Next.
   
5. That's above my pay grade. Next.
   
6. Learn to live with it.
   
7. Find your inner ailment and reach out to it to cure yourself.
   
8. Our Accelerated Doctors and Nurses program accepts life experience. What could be more important in a trained medical professional?
   
9. Take two aspirin and call us in the morning.
   
10. You break it, you fake it, we buy it.

SUM:
My digit is now 0!

Yeah that's right! I took Quantitative Thinking™, you can't fool me!

We care, you pay.

(*Sung by Chipmunks and other little fury creatures to the tune of The Witch Doctor)

I told the Witch Doctor We need 0bamacare too
I told the Witch Doctor We need 0bamacare too
And then the Witch Doctor, he told me about the zoo
He said that ....

(Chorus:)
Ohoo eee, ohoo uh oh sling wang
Wakka wakka, bang bang
Ohoo eee, ohoo uh oh sling wang
Wakka wakka, bang bang
Ohoo eee, ohoo uh oh sling wang
Wakka wakka, bang bang
Ohoo eee, ohoo uh oh sling wang
Wakka wakka, bang bang

I told the Witch Doctor Bush didn't give healthcare true
I told the Witch Doctor Bush didn't give healthcare nice
And then the Witch Doctor, he gave me this advice
He said to ...

(Repeat Chorus)

Now, the Republicans been keeping Obamacare from us
Just like they were the CEO of Kaiser
And We'll admit we're not very smart
So We went out and found ourself
A screwy Doctor with a riser
And he taught us the way to procure heart & brains

Our friend the Witch Doctor, he taught us what to say
Our friend the Witch Doctor, he taught us what to do
We know that you'll be ours when We say this to you
Oh, Euthanasia....

(Repeat Chorus)

Red Dawn wrote:My question being, will bleedings and leeches be brought back as treatments to help offset the cost of Obamacare?

Comrade Red Dawn,

I don't have PB0's ear, but I don't see why not. Both are holistic, can cut costs because anyone can perform the latter and many nurses the former, and the latter is particularly eco-friendly. Not just because it uses leeches, which are certainly oppressed and need greater confidence-building assistance from the government, but because they needn't be sterilized or produced in a factory like needles, scalpels, knives, etc.

Of course, the danger here is that people might selfishly turn to using these methods to deny the government revenues or save time instead of sharing in the collective experience.

Comrades,

These are glorious! Think of all the jobs we'll create in the government printing office!

Comrade Ivan Betinov,

That was part of what I was thinking but somehow Dreams of My Father escaped me. As a dedicated sycophant prog, I have sorta kinda read both, acquired with five-finger discounts to stick it to Big Book!

ObamaCare. We feel your pain. And we like it.

ClintonCare: I feel your pain; you better put some ice on that.

ClintonCare: I feel your pain....hold still long enough, an' I'll feel of somethin' else, too!

Better Health is Just Up Your Alley with King Obama's Royal Road to Health!




(The Royal Road to Health, by C.A. Tyrrell - 1909)

Slogans you ask?

Obamacare- better then Hillarycare
Obamacare-now with 20% more "liberalism" (Roughly could insert any word in the quote marks)
God's waiting room is no longer Florida, it's in your local hospital!
Canada is doing it, why don't we?
Obamacare-Did you vote for it?
Obamacare-Insurance companies not welcomed.

Unfortunately, I know it's not up to par as I normally do, being as great as my slogans can be. If I come up with more, I'll post more.

ClintonCare: Ladies, have a cigar!

Life on (clap clap), life off (clap clap); life on, life off, 0bamaCare.

"I've fallen and I can't get up!" "Thanks for doing your part, ma'am!"

Why buy a costly quarter ounce or eight ball when you can get all the OxyContin you want for free?

National Call-in-sick Days create high-paying health jobs and reduce worker exploitation!

You're an employer? Empty your pockets and go to the back of the line.

Clinical depression? Try a new coke-enhanced Coke™!

Get in line for "Slaughterhouse 5 Million"!

Reducing costs through weekly NeedleShare days

You're going to take your healthcare and like it.



{prog off}
I love watching Buzz Aldrin sock this Capricon 1 jerk, but I'm sure a guy Aldrin's age who has walked on the moon and can throw punches like that is probably not up for 0bamaCare. But the "You'll take it and like it" ambience seemed a good fit.
{prog on}