The People's Cube - Political Satire

Rejoice, for our brave Politburo leaders have finally discovered what is bankrupting the workers!

Is it the $787 billion stimulus package? Of course not, Comrade Biden said that money must be spent to prevent bankruptcy. Is it the bailouts of GM and Chrysler? No, they are now healthy and contributing to the economy. Is it the Waxman-Markey Cap and Trade bill? Don't be silly, that is going to create jobs, jobs, JOBS (and more jobs... maybe even Steve Jobs.) No, the problem is with useless people who refuse to leave this mortal coil when their usefulness to the state has waned.

Case in point: Democrats Want to Teach You to Die With Dignity

I think, given that the member of Congress who drafted H.R. 3200 read and take seriously people like Klien, Yglesias, and Singer, we should be very troubled by Section 1233 of H.R. 3200. The section, titled “Advanced Care Planning Consultation” requires senior citizens to meet at least every 5 years with a doctor or nurse practitioner to discuss dying with dignity.

The section requires that they talk to their doctor, not a lawyer, about living wills, durable healthcare powers of attorney, hospice, etc. Given the progressive intelligentsia already being on the record in favor of euthanizing the elderly, it is no small leap to see where the Democrats are headed with this.

Legally forcing senior citizens to have “death with dignity schedules every few years is just another way to say the government wants to make sure seniors know it is time to commit suicide to save the system money.

Picture it: Grandpa Oscar has just broken his finger and heads down to the government emergency room for treatment. Instead of talking to an expensive and wasteful doctor, he must first consult with a compassionate, caring bureaucrat who will inform him of his "choices" ....

* * *

Bureaucrat: Ah, Comrade Grandpa Oscar, I see you have broken a finger. Placed it in the wrong orifice, did we?

CGO: No, comrade health-care apparatchik, I was trying to grow some beets in my Obama Victory Garden and my power tools did not comply with the Waxman-Markey CO2 regulations so I had to use my finger. I guess I hit a comrade rock.

Bureaucrat: Um, well, a good carpenter does not blame his tools, comrade. Why are you wasting time growing food, comrade? Can you not think of a more constructive way to serve the state?

CGO: Well, I had a job as a greeter at People's Mart^TM but the store closed when comrade workers stopped coming to the store after their new GM and Chrylser cars broke down. But the state is still requiring me to make my Social Security payments so I don't have much money left for food...

Bureaucrat: Again with the blaming and the complaints. Comrade Grandpa Oscar, let me be frank with you. Your finger will cost many dollars worth of plaster and tape to fix and require comrade doctor to spend time with you, time which he will not be able to spend with other patients. Quite honestly, you are not really contributing all that much to society and the doctor's time will be better spent helping people whose services society desperately needs. Am I making myself clear, comrade?

CGO: You wish me to come back another day when the hospital is not so busy?

Bureaucrat: No, comrade, that is not what I am saying. Let me put it another way: if you were a farmer and had a tractor that broke down every day and required much fuel but only plowed a few acres, you would at some point start to realize that the tractor was costing you more rubles to keep running than it was giving you back in food production. So the wise thing to do would be to sell your old tractor to comrade salvage dealer and invest in a younger one. Permit me to be blunt, Comrade Grandpa Oscar, but Obama is the farmer, the nation is his farm and you are one of the tractors. You are consuming fuel and require repairs but are not very productive. If you do the right thing and step aside, others will be able to better utilize the resources you now so selfishly consume - such as my daughter, a performance artist with the National Propaganda Ministry, who has been living in an alley and could really use your house. The point is, you can sit there and make us fix your useless finger and go home and continue to take from honest productive workers or you can do the right thing. The choice is yours.

CGO: I guess I should do the unselfish thing for the common good. Can I at least call my wife and tell her I won't be coming home?

Bureaucrat: Yes, I already gave your cell phone to my daughter but there is a pay phone in the lobby. Here is your appointment card for Dr. Kervorkian. Thank you for your patriotism.

* * *
Isn't that beautiful, Comrades? That is what the future will be like when we finally give up the selfish desire to live forever and move into the brave new world of Party-Provided Health Care. I can hardly wait. Can you? If not, call your Politburo member and demand he yield to the will of Obamacare NOW!

Thank you Comrade OOTP for that glorious narrative showing us how pointless our petty concerns are for the elderly and other useless eaters. I believe the Party official in your quip was too light-hearted though, considering the TOUGH CHOICES he/she had to make.

http://healthadministrationbureau.com/h ... s-and-you/

“The economic burden represented by people suffering from hereditary diseases is a danger for the State and society.” - Dr. Gerhard Wagner to the Nazi party congress in 1934

Of course Congress will be exempt from all of this.

Opiate, you have seen the future, and it works. Hmm. That sounds familiar. <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lincoln_Steffens">I wonder who said it?</a>

But don't you think that you're a little harsh with Grandpa Oscar? After all, a simple finger isn't much. We don't want the geezers to be mistrustful of the State so that they don't come in when they have a serious condition like a heart attack and we get to kill them with triage can care for them with compassion and concern.

The hurt finger just doesn't send the right message. We need them to know that we care.

And also for the parents of children who have problems. We need them to know that we care for their children so that they will be assured while we off the ones who are afflicted and won't make good worker stock or will cost money in a brutal case of corporate economics.

Commissar Theocritus wrote: But don't you think that you're a little harsh with Grandpa Oscar? After all, a simple finger isn't much. We don't want the geezers to be mistrustful of the State so that they don't come in when they have a serious condition like a heart attack and we get to kill them with triage can care for them with compassion and concern.

Commissar, as the great revolutionary hero Lenin said, we must break some eggs in order to have omelets. Grandpa Oscar's eggs must be broken in order for the ACORNs to get their omelets (from http://www.city-journal.org/2009/eon0721ph.html)

Take pneumonia. We have relatively cheap and effective treatments for it, especially vaccines and antibiotics. As a result, many older Americans who might have died from pneumonia in Osler's day (19th century) now live years or decades longer—long enough to qualify for Medicare and then develop much more expensive ailments like diabetes, cancer, and Alzheimer's. Researchers at the RAND Corporation noted the conundrum across several studies and came to roughly the same conclusion: “Medical innovations will result in better health and longer life, but they will likely increase, not decrease, Medicare spending.”

So you see, if we allow useless Grandpa Oscar to continue draining state resources now, the amount of resources he will consume will grow ever larger as he grows older and becomes even less useful. The only compassionate thing to do is to nip his selfish ways in the bud before he becomes too big of a burden on the system. And truthfully, if the geezers get wind of the situation and begin to avoid coming in for treatment for anything, that will save the program even more money!

This could be the best insurance plan ever; it will take in TRILLIONS of dollars in premiums by force and could end up paying little or nothing for claims.

Please report all Deaths With Dignity(TM) to my offices so that we may properly count more necro-proxy votes for the Glorious World of Next Tuesday(TM).

Hail The Party(TM)!

After a person dies with Party Approved Dignity ™ do they then get cremated in a crematorium with a carbon scrubbing stack, so that they may be returned to The Grid?

Death With Dignity Crematorium Concentration Camps For Party Approved Recycled Energy(TM).

Hitler would be proud of your Progressive Grid(TM), Colonel.

What a wonderful idea. We can have people die with dignity as in <i>Soylent Green</i>, as Edward G. Robinson did listening to Beethoven's Sixth. Then just toss the body onto a heap of burning tires being recycled.

Or we could actually recycle the body. Into Soylent Green.

But I have a question. Shouldn't we actually <i>increase</i> the carcinogens in the food and water? Treating cancer (as little as possible of course) is much cheaper than paying old-age pensions.

Also we should encourage smoking. [ This is quite literally true. ]

Red Rooster wrote:Please report all Deaths With Dignity(TM) to my offices so that we may properly count more necro-proxy votes for the Glorious World of Next Tuesday(TM).

Hail The Party(TM)!

Being the obedient, aging servant that I am, I will gladly volunteer for my morphine drip now.

A morphine drip? I'll take one myself. I don't want to check out; I just want to silence that whining sound that I keep hearing all the time...

I hear that same incesant whining... fresh alley cat bigger than fish wrap jodin.

I had never seen the site of Perez Hilton. Thank you. Oh. That's my alarm clock. I'm late for my tune-up at Jiffi-Lobo.

You're very welcome. And good thing you had that Jiffi-Lobo Tune up scheduled. We propose Perez deserves a treat the size of Jodin's recent escapade. If Dear Leader you find it in your imaginative heart.

Hmm. That is an interesting idea. I don't think that Janeane is the proper dam for it, though. There are other people however who would fit just right.

TOP TEN INDICATORS THAT YOUR EMPLOYER HAS CHANGED TO A CHEAPER HEALTH CARE PLAN AS PROPOSED BY DEAR LEADER:

(10) Your annual breast exam is done at Hooters.

(9) Directions to your doctor's office include "Take a left when you enter the trailer park."

(8) The tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicles.

(7) The only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.

(6) The only item listed under Preventive Care Coverage is "an apple a day..."

(5) Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you gave to Goodwill last month.

(4) "The patient is responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges," is not a typographical error.

(3) The only expense covered 100% is "embalming."

(2) Your Prozac comes in different colors with little M's on them.

AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOU'VE JOINED A VERY CHEAP HEALTH CARE PLAN:

(1) You ask for Viagra and they give you a Popsicle stick and Duct Tape.

The unfortunate news for those of us axiously awaiting our "drip" is that; much to our disappointment, it will in fact be methadone. I think it will help save the Party money.