The People's Cube - Political Satire

COMRADES!

We have a challenge!

Frothy Diplomacy: What Beer Will Obama Choose for White House Meeting?

ABC News wrote:The easy part for President Obama might have been getting Cambridge, Mass., police Sgt. James Crowley and Harvard University scholar Henry Louis Gates Jr. to accept his invitation to the White House for a beer.

Now comes the hard part: finding just the right beer for the occasion.

Does the president choose a lager for Thursday's gathering? A porter? Maybe a wheat beer? Does he pick something light to help the men with the Washington, D.C., summer heat?

Whatever the president picks, it is likely to be closely watched and could even help propel a lesser-known beer into the mainstream.

Of course Obama doesn't know what brew to serve for a peace offering - that's because our Propaganda Directorate hasn't told him yet!

We are called to action. I suggest a glass of "Snob" draft would be great for this meeting. Though a good glass of "pretentious a-hole" lager might trip Sgt. Crowley's trigger.

Man your favorite brew suggestions!

I have received the official transmission from the new TOTUS.

Here is the list the winner will be chosen from.

Chairman Zero has promised to "keep it real".

How about I mix up some of The Party™ Approved Margarita with PeopleSpeak™? That concoction should trip up more than a trigger! Just ask Meow!

--
Zampolit Boris Sukavich Blokhayev
Commissar, 1st Chief Directorate for The Party™ Approved Margarita Research and Operations
Grand Inquisitor, The Reformed Church of Latter-Day Climatology (The Goremons)

In the spirit of "going green" how about recycled beer?

I propose "Unibroue La Fin Du Monde" and definitely not "Sweetwater Happy Ending Imperial Stout".

Comrade Whoopie wrote:In the spirit of "going green" how about recycled beer?

Comrade Whoopie are they serving...

Dogfish Head Golden Shower - Originally named Prescription Pills, the brewery was forced to change the name, lest someone think it was a pharmaceutical. Golden Shower saw one release before the government folks figured out what they'd approved. The beer is now known as Golden Era.

There should only be one kind of beer. A people's beer. Whatever beer is favored by The One.

Is that The Prog Prince comrade Rosie? Hip hopping girlie man fermented honey and water across the land?

We have developed many a progressive drink here at Karl Marx Treatment Center, but since we're talking beer and renewable energy...

Red Rooster wrote:Is that The Prog Prince comrade Rosie? Hip hopping girlie man fermented honey and water across the land?

That is HE my crimson fowl friend. However this is Amber Ale (a Universal Red).
It claims no country as to avoid superiority and neocolonialism.

And by the way, Rosie, welcome to the Cube! I was too busy in the last few days denouncing class enemies and had no time to congratulate you on your spectacular entrance to the collective.

Please in the future don't go through submissions, but simply post your visual agitation products on the People's Blog!

Let me know if you require a new Party-approved shovel.

Thank you Comrade. I have found a collective utopia and a feeling of oneness in your site. The likes of which incline me to shed this burden of rustic individualism. I hope to blend well into the group think.
(Saluting and lifting a shovel.)
Your CountryWOEmyn, R.R.

I for one am disturbed by you continued use of a different font in your postings...this smacks of individualism to me, Rosie.

My tastes trend towards Tsing-Tao. However, I defer to my more worldly comrades as to the proper brew. Please accept my modest offering for the pre-brewski festivities:

Rosie the Red wrote: Your CountryWOEmyn, R.R.

Hmmmmm....

Yes, Comrade Betinov, the different type smacks of kapitalist individuality and Comrade Rosie is claiming to be a WOEmyn, yet she has not checked in at The Wombat Factory(TM) for hyr doses of Progisil(TM) and Progrin(TM) from the Woomba Loombas!?!

And furthermore, Comrade Rosie has stolen the Cockled Commissar of Graveyard Entrances inititials: RR, we find this very suspicious Comrade Brain In A Jar. Could it be that Comrade Rosie is the cantancerous cocks female Dopelganger!?!

Hmmm... very suspicious... very suspicious... The Woomba Loomba's will be watching you Comrade Rosie, always watching.... if you should prove to be a good collectivist, The Wombat Factory is always in need of femynist brainwashed women's college useful idiots like Miss Resentment, Margaret Cho, Wandering Sykophant and Janeane Gawdawfulo properly re-educated WOEmyn.

Otherwise it's the impaling stakes, a meeting with Old Blue on The Farm, or Colonels Red Guards taking you out to The Wall, The Party(TM) can always use more necro-proxy votes from my vote counting offices.

Glorious Work, General Mousey-Tounge!!!!!!

However Brew Ha Ha has never been my favorite. I am hoping that Obama chooses Snobweiser, the brew with the arresting taste that really cuffs your thirst.

Snobweiser... LOL!

That sounds like a damn fine beer for a bunch of blowhards.

Yer o.k. fer a commie.

Comrade Snoogie Woogums,

How about some party hats?

Leninka,

Great Idea, but the hats would cover up the tinfoil! Though appreciate the gesture......Here have a cold one on me.

Sorry Comrades,

I just couldn't resist adding a little more to this!!!!!

See larger image >>

What about something with a roofie in it? This way, they forget everything that happened, and they go on with their lives, no money for a trail expended.

Red Rooster wrote:
Hmmmmm....

Comrade Rosie is claiming to be a WOEmyn,.

Commodores,
Your assesment of my plight has been most observant.
This is most unfortunate but since birth I have been assimilated and brainwashed by my kapitalist mother and sperm-donor to believe in amerika's over-indulged, exploitative free-market economy, globalization as well as individual rights and freedom. I was also trained by tutors and teachers to believe in freedom of thought and the superiority of amerika.

It wasn't until I attended the University, that I saw the errors of my rearing. I was to discover that because I am a WOEmyn, that I have been scrupulously victimized since birth. I was given malformed dolls with disproportioned figures; I have always believed that “math is hard” and was (most strategically) dressed in pink. Because of this I found myself taking diminutive rolls in relationships, thinking of marriage to a man (of all things) and considering repeating the cycle with my own spawn.

I was very much encouraged by my discovery of your amalgamation and I hope to propagandize with you. (Off to the Wombat Factory). By all means administer lashings if I exhibit any signs of individualism. I will continue to self- flagellate and shock-treatment.
R.R.

A People's Rifle(TM) for Comrade Rosie! Now you too can fight The Revolution(TM) while vaguely pretending to exercise the non existent right to bear arms with the front end of an AK-47 featuring a cement filled bore! Now you have arms to go with your bared arm.

Colonel 7.62 - you forgot to mention the squeegee bayonet helping the armed masses to extract money from polluting motorists at intersections, which allows to keep down the cost of maintaining such an army.

Ahhh yes, I did. Thank you for reminding me Comrade Red Square. I was distracted by the luxury of air conditioning on a very hot day.

And courtesy of Red Rooster, we now have a new People's Rifle(TM) award!

Comrade Colonel,

When altruistic collectivist work is done for The Party™ behind, er, the scenes, so to speak, mention of it is blasphemy to the work we do for The People™ in the concave navel. Kind of like the Obamamessiah's transparency policy, we can be blessed by the fine example set by The 0ne. Credit is given when The Boss decides, months later, that it was his idea in the first place. Now take the credit for your new graphic like a good prog, and enjoy the ways of Party transparency.

Very nice Colonel! Might I ask if you have this little beauty among your armory? I believe it has been approved by the senate as well as the Cooperation Committee TM. It will be government-issued and mass-distributed to all gun and SUV owners. It has a most unique safety feature.

Red Rooster wrote:Comrade Colonel,

When altruistic collectivist work is done for The Party™ behind, er, the scenes, so to speak, mention of it is blasphemy to the work we do for The People™ in the concave navel. Kind of like the Obamamessiah's transparency policy, we can be blessed by the fine example set by The 0ne. Credit is given when The Boss decides, months later, that it was his idea in the first place. Now take the credit for your new graphic like a good prog, and enjoy the ways of Party transparency.

Someone must have changed my post. My original went into great detail over how I slaved manually building that graphic pixel by pixel, carefully adjusting the tint and color of each one.

Comrade Colonel,

Ah, I knew it, the upper eschalon of The Party(TM) must have seen fit to foil your hard effort and pixel machina genius! We will have to supply them with copius amounts of vodka and furs in hopes that they will beat some lower proles into submission for their discrepancy.

Comrade Rosie Red,

That gun looks awful close to this one, is that a North Korean knock of?

Comrade Snoogie, How about:

Clear some room on your meat freezer hooks...

Comrade Snoogie Woogums wrote:

So you can put a warm frothing Snob in with the pork.

This is making circles the Gulagosphere:

A cop, a professor and the President walk into a bar

The bartender asks the cop “What'll it be?”

The cop says “the usual.” The bartender hands the cop a bottle of beer then asks the professor the same question.

The professor says “the usual.”

The bartender places a napkin in front of the professor, puts downs an iced glass and pours a bottle of beer into it, then he turns to the President and asks, “and you sir?”

The President says “the usual.”

The bartender picks up the professor's drink and puts it in front of the President, serves a round of drinks to all the patrons in the bar, and gives the tab to the cop.

Obama (looking in the mini-fridge): "...so what'll it be Mr Crowley, uhh... I have Guinness, uhh... some chocolate stout, uhh... and a nice German 'dunkel'..."

Crowley: "Well, I really don't care for dark beers. Do you have anything else?"

Gates: "Hmpf! I rest my case."

Colonel 7.62 wrote:

Red Rooster wrote:Comrade Colonel,


Someone must have changed my post. My original went into great detail over how I slaved manually building that graphic pixel by pixel, carefully adjusting the tint and color of each one.

comrade colonel,

let me congratulate u on your progressive party name

we do realize that 7.62 is .30cal. the round fits so well into M15s, as do theirs in ours.

to return to subject, there is no problem to big that cannot be solved with alcohol and/or a quick beating or two in a New England alley.

confirm distance to free beer

give us a ping professor gates-

one ping only

(please)

It must BE dark....very,very dark. And big....very,very big.

I hope today will be proclaimed National Beer Day. For beer is the beverage of peace and hope. And the good beer is always red.

<img src="https://at3m.com/files/nbd.jpg">

Rosie the Red wrote:

Red Rooster wrote:
Hmmmmm....

Comrade Rosie is claiming to be a WOEmyn,.

Commodores,
Your assesment of my plight has been most observant.
This is most unfortunate but since birth I have been assimilated and brainwashed by my kapitalist mother and sperm-donor to believe in amerika's over-indulged, exploitative free-market economy, globalization as well as individual rights and freedom. I was also trained by tutors and teachers to believe in freedom of thought and the superiority of amerika.

It wasn't until I attended the University, that I saw the errors of my rearing. I was to discover that because I am a WOEmyn, that I have been scrupulously victimized since birth. I was given malformed dolls with disproportioned figures; I have always believed that “math is hard” and was (most strategically) dressed in pink. Because of this I found myself taking diminutive rolls in relationships, thinking of marriage to a man (of all things) and considering repeating the cycle with my own spawn.

I was very much encouraged by my discovery of your amalgamation and I hope to propagandize with you. (Off to the Wombat Factory). By all means administer lashings if I exhibit any signs of individualism. I will continue to self- flagellate and shock-treatment.
R.R.

Comrade Rosie,

No need to self flagellate or get shock-treatments. Just make sure you make regular trips to your nearest Jiffi-Lobo treatment center, dye all those pink clothes red, and it's okay to continue with the submissiveness, as now, you really don't need to think for yourself. Oh, and about those individualized fonts, that certainly is an indicator of your upbringing.

As for your spawn, if they are Woemyn just keep them from professions such as teaching and nursing. Leave those professions for your male spawns.

and after a few drinks, the bitch slapping!

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Update:

Officer Crowley came out of the meeting and spoke to a group of reporters about the beer experience, and let me tell you.

He was mad as a wet hen!



Off to the Jiffi-Lobo for you, Officer Crowley!

Poor, poor, officer Crowley, pecked to anger, and now a trip to Jiffy-Lobo™...

I am gobsmacked Comrade Rex, and again, and again, and again...

Leninka wrote:

Rosie the Red wrote:

Red Rooster wrote:
Hmmmmm....

Comrade Rosie is claiming to be a WOEmyn,.

Commodores,
Your assesment of my plight has been most observant...

No need to self flagellate or get shock-treatments. Just make sure you make regular trips to your nearest Jiffi-Lobo treatment center, dye all those pink clothes red, and it's okay to continue with the submissiveness, as now, you really don't need to think for yourself. Oh, and about those individualized fonts, that certainly is an indicator of your upbringing.

As for your spawn, if they are Woemyn just keep them from professions such as teaching and nursing. Leave those professions for your male spawns.

Ah, leave it to the most equal Comrade Leninka to give excellent advice to new proles, I might add Comrade Rosie, that your muscles will come in handy for all those ditch digging jobs that will be turned over by all the new feminized male nurses, teachers, and homemakers.

Equality For ALL!!!

Hail Che'!

Actually all I wanted was a simple Lindeman's Framboise Lambic, so what happens?
That gangsta hood homie from Chicago The distinguished Congressman from Chicago, Jesse Jackson, Jr. called and said "Remember what my daddy said about your nuts? I'll snip 'em off instead you damn mofo, iffin' you don't give my Bud a plug."
"You will certainly help the poor of Chicago by promoting a more economical adult beverage by having a Bud Light, the beer of the common man, tasteful, yet affordable."
How could I let my people down? In these tough times that I inherited from George W. Bush, I shall make my own personal sacrifices for the good of Jesse and Jesse Jackson, Jr. The American People.

Why, the great leader shall enjoy a large glass of "Victory Beer", as featured in the ever popular novel of patriotism, 1984!

Good Day Comrades!

<img width="570" src="https://i597.photobucket.com/albums/tt5 ... LLIAMS.jpg">

Today's NY Post speaks for me...

[/quote]


MY LORD! This one had me ROTFLMFAO (Reflecting Over Timely Fermentation and Laminating My Future From Alcohol Overdose). I actually took a look at your avatar and name and that just made me drop (a load in my britches).

I must admit, I can not kompete. All hail!

Komrade, Mousey-Tongue :

Gloriously well done! But, um, what's wrong with MoeBama's hand? did he have it replaced with a prosthetic like Dr. Strangelove?

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Or is that his special protective beer drinking glove?

I suggest a black and tan

Tiny Tim! Is that you!?! So soon back from the crutches? ObamaCare is coming Tiny Tim, just hold your wobbling, we need to off the old folks first and then we will have funds to fix your displacement by other victim classes.

Red Square,

I am truly humbled that you saw fit to include my Snobweiser idea on the front page of the cube! My sincere appreciation and a hearty hail to you our esteemed Party leader!!!!!

Red Rooster

Thank you as always for improving on my original work, nice job Comrade!

Ah, your welcome comrade, and we are assuming you mean this one...

OOH! OOH! Can we call ourselves "Cubistas!" Please? Pretty Please? with sucrose?

O.k. Comrade Rex, I, the fowl Cock of Queens, hereby dub us Cubistas, but this only lasts for well... as long as it lasts, for we never know when the next Current Truth will come around.

Enjoy Cubista AbecedariusRex!

While you can.

Cock, You do dull due.

How about my personal favorite.....El Presidente



El Presidente Obama going with the "light", of course.

AbecedariusRex wrote:Cock, You do dull due.

"Can't we discuss this with the President over a beer?" can become a new saying here at the Cube and the community at large.

For example:

Comrade Snoogie Woogums: "Did you just steal that wallet out of my pocket?"
Marshall Pupovich: "Can't we discuss this with the President over a beer?"

or:

Commissarka Pinkie: "Where did you just peck me? Come here where I can reach you with my shovel!"
Red Rooster: "Can't we discuss this with the President over a beer?"

And so on...

Red Square: "Did you just put my People's Cube in your White Russian?"
Meow: "Can't we discuss this with the President over a beer?"

Comrade Elliott: "Did you just say 'ViQueens'?"
AbecedariusRex: "Can't we discuss this with the President over a beer?"

General Mousey Tongue: "Marshall Pupovich, did you just lift your right hind leg in my direction?"

Marshall Pupovich: "Can't we discuss this with the President over a beer?"

Why that Lowbrau beer from Futurama of course.

I would have bet my best resoled shoes that our glorious leader would have proven himself to be a true national socialist by choosing Baby Killian's Red.

You know the one with the twist-off cradle cap?

AbecedariusRex wrote:Comrade Elliott: "Did you just say 'ViQueens'?"
AbecedariusRex: "Can't we discuss this with the President over a beer?"

Whachutalk'n 'bout Rex?

This conflict surely isn't the only one Obama could solve over a beer...

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<br>

But isn't beer too -- how shall I say this -- "low class" for our Glorious Leader? And to drink with **for shame!** a Police Officer?!?