The People's Cube - Political Satire

A new poll by Rasmussen (sounds like a phony name, must be an anagram of "RushLimbaugh" or something) reveals that despite constant 24/7 MSM lecturing and condescension, 62% of bitter clinging proles are still racist homophobes:

Sixty-two percent (62%) of Americans say it's always better to cut taxes than increase government spending because taxpayers, not bureaucrats, are the best judges of how to spend their own money.

The good news is that 25% of Amerikkans are good patriotic compliant citizens:

But then Americans by a two-to-one margin – 50% to 25% - believe that a dollar of tax cuts is always better than a dollar of public spending. One-in-four-Americans (25%), however, aren't sure.

Is that all, 25%???? This must be a fascist "push poll" or something. Nobody I know voted this way.

They also found that 25% of the public have IQs above the freezing point of water:

Similarly, just 25% say public spending provides much more bang for the buck than tax cuts when it comes to economic policy and creating jobs. Fifty percent (50%) disagree that public spending is better for the economy than tax cuts. But again 26% are undecided.

And, womyn are smarter than non-womyn:

Women are more likely than men to prefer government spending over tax cuts.

We find later on that it's the Rethuglicans and their fellow travellers (a.k.a. The Party of "NO")
who are behind the conspiracy to destroy Amerikka:

Republicans are almost twice as likely as Democrats to think that taxpayers are the best judges of how to spend their own money. Sixty-seven percent (67%) of adults not affiliated with either party agree.

While two-thirds (67%) of Republicans and the plurality (49%) of unaffiliateds say a dollar of tax cuts is always better than a dollar of public spending, Democrats are evenly divided on the question.

Finally, we come down to the crux of the problem, the entrenched racism and paranoia amonst a large segment of the population who cannot stand a President who does not look like them:

Still, for nearly four-out-of-five voters, the problem is not their unwillingness to pay taxes. It's their elected representatives' refusal to cut the size of government.

62% Like Tax Cuts Over More Government Spending

Comrades, I personally think this so-called poll is a fake. Where did Rasmussenski find these idiots, in bowling alleys and NASCAR races? Did he ask anybody with teeth what they thought about these issues? I doubt it. No sane person would respond in this way unless he/she were purposely being obtuse, they are drunk or else an agent of the Military-Industrial-Health Insurers-complex was standing nearby with a death-ray aimed at their head. I think Commissar Waxman should demand a list of Rasmussenovich's bank transactions immediately to see who exactly is paying him off to propagate this poop. Then, the Party should take a REAL poll sampling REAL Amerikkans on these topics: union leaders, ACORN members, public employees, MSM journalists, etc, and then we will see how REAL people think. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. When you think about it, it's so ridiculous! Workers would rather spend their own money than have their enlightened leaders do it for them. Only Rush Limbaugh could dream up such idiocy! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm not surprised that women voted the way they did. Whose bright idea was it to give them the vote? All our great leaders like Stalin, Mao, Castro and Obama have been men. Repeal the 19th Amendment!

I DENOUNCE RASSMUSSEN REPORTS!!!!!!!

This is nothing more than a counter-revolutionary plot. We have some SERIOUS SHOVELS to issue to the folks behind this so called poll. This propaganda has to be stopped at all costs. The giverment knows best!!!!, people in charge of their money???? What kind of nonsense is that? Who could even harbor such a thought-crime?

I need NAMES, NAMES of the fiends behind this!!!! Time for some serious re-education action and some serious beet harvesting for this lot.

I denounce Comrade Snoogie "I doodied in mah pants" Woogums for merely suggesting reeducation for the Rassmussen liars. The firing squad is much more appropriate (after blood is harvested, and then head shots only, so organs can be salvaged).

I DENOUNCE COLONEL 7.62 for not wanting to hand out even more of his tax dollars to the Government to be spent on public re-education!

It almost sounds like he rather save a few bucks and go right to the firing squad first!

Most suspicious Colonel, are you getting tight with your money lately?

I DENOUNCE COLONEL "Sanders The Trotskyite" 7.62! Comrade Snoogie is only trying to save us some useful proles for OUR polls. A fine re-education will get them tweaking the numbers in no time!




And we've already picked the the best of the pack of prog professors to start the scientific training....





And his able activist assistant...

Comrade Poopie Pants, have you any clue what ammo is costing these days? If you did, you would realize it's CHEAPER to reeducate someone, than purge them. Hmmph. Besides, my revolutionaries haven't had a good purge lately.

Comrade Extra Tasty-Crispy, if you continue to call me a Trotskyite, I shall be forced to write a very stern letter of protest to our MTE.

O.K. Trotsky, anything but the MuleAss of the MTE on my case, although you may have to get clearance for cuddling up to the MTE, Pupovich has had a clear claim on that station as of late, and Commissar Theo runs the Hilda Hyrda, so good luck with that.

Oh, and Comrade Enema, have you any clue of the cost of a good re-education these day? If you did you would realize your People's Math(TM) is a bit - well - off.

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Comrade Poopie Pants, have you any clue what ammo is costing these days? If you did, you would realize it's CHEAPER to reeducate someone, than purge them. Hmmph. Besides, my revolutionaries haven't had a good purge lately.

Comrade Extra Tasty-Crispy, if you continue to call me a Trotskyite, I shall be forced to write a very stern letter of protest to our MTE.

Colonel

Along with a purge, i'd say your revolutionaries could use some singing lessons to go along with that. By the way is "Sweet Home Alabama" a party approved song??????

Comrade Neil Young might have a fit if it were.

I suggest we have a mass show-trial with Comrades 7.62, Snoogie and Red Rooster. I offer my services as a the People's Judge. I'm exceptionally good at dispensing justice. We can confiscate their loot to pay for the BBQ and alcohol.

My People's Math(TM) allows me to reach whatever conclusion makes me feel good, and that's all that matters.

Vodkov, have you been reformed yet, where you can conduct a show trial? And even so, which of my multiplicity of Inner Comrades(TM) would be on trial? Inner Comrade #12 (there is no problem that cannot be solved through the proper application of a blunt object to the back of a skull)? Or perhaps Inner Comrade #6(There is no problem that cannot be solved through the judicious application of government forms and red tape)? Thanks to Pupovich's mental health work, I have found even my Inner Comrades(TM) have Inner Comrades(TM). And who knows, there may be layer upon layer, upon layer of Inner Comrades(TM). My mind is like peeling an onion, there is an Inner Comrade(TM) for every Party Approved(TM) situation. And then some. So Show Trial away Comrade!

The government is so big right now, I think there's an agent sitting right behind me. . . watching me. . . what thoughtcrime have I committed now? I was under the assumption I hadn't done a thing wrong! I (gack!). . .

(off)
And yet the majority elected folks who want to grow government. I'm at a lose of words otherwise.

Speaking of Inner Comrades, I think I have a good graphic representation of Comrade Obama's Inner Comrades, all 34 of them...

My Dear Comrades! No need for all of this petty in-fighting and calls for show trials of our Inner-Party brethren! Rassmusen was seized by Peloski with a one sentence clause on page 1,362 of Public Law 110-343. We are merely collecting dissident names for the purging of non people in the imminent and glorious future.

Look for the silver lining Comrades! While eliminating at least 63% of the population may seem a little excessive ponder the wonders it will do for the environment not just locally but on a global level. The Imperial USA consumed 97.8% of the world's resources while containing only 3% of its population. It is a known and abhorrent fact!

We will be killing two birds with one stone so to speak. Happy time!