The People's Cube - Political Satire

Kanye West once again shows why he loves to put fish sticks in his mouth.

Talor Swift, probably the only person with real musical talent at the VMA's this year had her moment ruined by Kanye “I rip off my music” West. Watch the disgusting clip HERE.

So does this mean that Kanye West is a racist since Taylor Swift is white and Beyonce is
black? Between Serena Williams, Barack Obama and Kanye West this appears to be the week for temper tantrums.

It is also looks like the year to pick on young white girls that started with Carrie Prejean being humiliated by Perez “I have no talent” Hilton.

I'm not sure how to explain this...

Who's Kanye West? Since he likes fish sticks does he do M/M porn? He needs to clean up if he does. Ain't no one gonna pay to see <i>that</i> in the buff.

What's that on his hair? Has his skull been removed?

And he's short.

Commissar Theocritus wrote:What's that on his hair? Has his skull been removed?

And he's short.

It appears to be the trails made by some sort of brain-burrowing parasite, or possibly a subspecies of rabid weasel, that's controlling his every thought.

Yes, short...and stumpy. Like maybe a buffoon or something.

A punchinello.

Imagine Justin Timberlake grabbing a microphone out of Beyonce's hand, and yelling that Taylor Swift deserved the award. Then it would be considered a hate crime.

According to Jimmy Carter not agreeing with His O'liness is racism.

I never thought that James Earl Carter could sink any lower in my eyes, but he just has.

We must not question Comrade Carter's proclamation of racism. I can sleep well knowing his powers of observation and reasoning are far beyond that of us mere mortals. Besides, he wrote a book one time, I think, so there. Or maybe he read a book one time. I can never remember.

And Comrade Carter made the ultimate required pilgrimage to visit and worship at the feet of Comrade Fidel and other legendary party leaders, proving without a doubt his loyalty to the system and to the party.

Wait a minute! Carter's white, right? So according to Genuine Junior-KGB-Man decoder ring, that means he is a racist. All White people are racists. And since only racists criticize the reforms of Dear Leader, why is Mr Carter supporting them? As a racist, shouldn't he be out tea bagging a rabbit or something?

Comrades, I'm getting seriously confused. If we can only say something bad about people whom we share characteristics which are supposedly defining, that mean that I can only trash--gulp--Richard Simmons?

Oh, please dear Lenin.

Not to worry, Commissar Theocritus, there's also Liberace and Elton John, um, the Indigo Girls, Melissa Etheridge (after a fashion). Or Texans. Or even the "Texans" football team. (I think they deserve it.)

Comrade Meatshield, if there were more gay Texans I'd have had more dates.

I once went on an entire two-week trip, most of it spent in Texas, and didn't see a single gay man, except while shaving.

But thank you for reminding me about Elton John and Melissa Etheridge. And there's also Rosie O'Donnell. How could I forget Her Porkiness? And I've seen Andy Dick just once, and realized that for the sake of my television I couldn't see him again.

Here I heave a sigh. Has it been downhill for gay people since Leonardo and Michelangelo? To arrive at Liberace?

Comrade Theo, the real problem will be exposed in the next issue of Newsweek in an article "Is your baby homophobic" with a supplementary piece titled "Is your homosexual baby too flamboyant?"

Ah, but there's the rub. What if the baby is sending mixed signals? I was in plays but was a lousy actor. I was a good pianist. But I was a damned good science-fair competitor.

Which one has more stroke? Which one has points? But the real answer is that I could not possibly be gay because I'm not a prog. And we all know that only knuckle-dragging straight white males are conservative.

So that means that I cannot be gay, right?

That's right. No way, no how. And vegans do not produce methane gas, only meat eaters. And, it's okay for windmill farms to kill golden eagle after golden eagle and not get fined, but when an oil company's actions result in the death of a tiny fraction of the number of birds killed by wind turbines, they get socked with big fines, while wind turbine farm operators skate by with no punishment.

Click here to read about all the dead birds (not you, Theo, if you're not gay, you're not sensitive, either, and you wouldn't care a whit about the dead birds anyway).

Leninka, I'm as sensitive as an infected chancre.

Well then, that proves it. You're definitely not gay.

But then where do I go for reeducation? I mean, all of those years...

Well, Boise, Idaho, is a good start. Aren't there some white supremacists in the area? And, hanging around some butch women might be even better than macho men, lest you be tempted.

Night before last I was in Boise and the downtown was covered with reveling college students, who were actually polite--for college students. And no one was puking or shooting fingers and I didn't see a single tattoo.

But there is something else about Idaho. I stopped at a Wally World on Sunday in SE Idaho and the demographic was amazing. I was not in the slightest concerned to see Mexicans there--I notice a store which does <i>not</i> have lots of them but then I'm from Texas. But these were all, er, cough, cough, wetbacks. What's going on? The groceries in Brownsville don't look quite like this.

That's good to see. Now, if I visit Idaho, I'll feel right at home.

However, even though they qualify as downtrodden and oppressed, for their willingness to work, without the protection of a union, and at lower wages, they must be routed out, put on trains and taken to concentration camps immediately.

Yes, and god forbid that we should have people who can do a really good job tiling a house.

(That's a joke but it's so true. You ought to see the tile in my house. Alex did the grouting THREE times before he got it right, and returned some grout, bitching, and then did it right. Grouted twice. The finest tiles that I've ever seen.)