The People's Cube - Political Satire

After I saw a recent study which showed that Anglo-Americans are more likely to use coupons than low income hispanics, blacks and other minorities, I realized a grave injustice was occurring. Further researcg showed just how bad it was.

Right away we can see just how racist coupons are if blacks, hispanics and others are not using them. That is simple proof of their elitist nature, but then I started looking at one that was for something simple as orange juice. This coupon was good only for a certain size and brand, for limited quantities, for a certain time frame, and only at a certain store. How discriminatory can you get? On top of that, a person must be able to do math, understand the written word, and be able to distinguish brands, and sizes. This clearly limits the use of coupons to the educated upper classes.

I propose a Party Approved Discount Exchange. All products will receive equal discounts at equal times so that all can benefit from them, as opposed to the elite few that don't need them. You will be issued a Government Discount Card and be required to scan it with your purchase.

In conjunction with the Discount Exchange, I propose the Government make all commercial goods available to all persons. You will be taxed at a higher rate, and in return be given a purchasing card of a certain value each month on it to purchase food or consumer goods. This ensures an equal distribution of wealth, food and material goods. Naturally certain items not deemed suitable for public consumption will be rapidly phased out like non GM cars, all guns and ammo, and certain foodstuffs like meat, or anything else that is deemed as oppressive.

I hope you will join me in lobbying Obama and Congress to bring about these progressive and equitable changes to our society.

Colonel 7.62 wrote: I propose a Party Approved Discount Exchange. All products will receive equal discounts at equal times so that all can benefit from them, as opposed to the elite few that don't need them. You will be issued a Government Discount Card and be required to scan it with your purchase.

In conjunction with the Discount Exchange, I propose the Government make all commercial goods available to all persons. You will be taxed at a higher rate, and in return be given a purchasing card of a certain value each month on it to purchase food or consumer goods. This ensures an equal distribution of wealth, food and material goods. Naturally certain items not deemed suitable for public consumption will be rapidly phased out like non GM cars, all guns and ammo, and certain foodstuffs like meat, or anything else that is deemed as oppressive.

A provacative idea indeed, Comrade, but your proposal should include the creation of a separate Discount Exchange open only to members of the Party inner circle. After all, the Party Elite has important matters of state to attend to and the People's work cannot be shunted aside while their leaders wait on long queues for hours to purchase the necessities of life only to be told by some low-echelon government-service clerk that everything is out of stock. And, to be perfectly frank, those doing the most important work deserve the best stuff like top-shelf booze instead of the rotgut that will be dished out to the proles. No, the Chairman has already indicated to me this idea will not fly without the creation of a separate but un equal exchange for the apparatchiks; he told me personally that nothing is too good for him the Selfless Servants of the People.

A noble idea Comrade! An equal, yet separate exchange for the apparatchicks!

Comrades,

should that be properly called separate and more equal exchange? Coupons are an underhanded herding technique!

Yes indeed comrade!

I also feel that by using coupons and saving money makes them potential enemies of the state.

What are they doing with that extra money that they save out of the money that the gov't allows them to keep?

If they are not using it then they should give it to the state!

How dare they keep more than they need to use.

In words of Vice President, Biden, it is almost "unpatriotic" for them to keep this money.

Dear Colonel:
When you mentioned "coupons" and racism, I had to go back through my archives of propaganda, but apparently, this has been an ongoing issue! Watch the re-educational film, and count how many minorities™ you see!

"Wow, that movie looks better than 56% of the movies I rented this year!"
--People's Cube blogger

I've always said that coupons were part of the elite lifestyle!

Just like rationing cards that allow you to buy more than others, even if you have the same amount of money. The conclusion: COUPONS = INSTITUTIONAL RACISM. Just like drivers licences and voting registration, they are nothing but INSTITUTIONAL RACISM.

Colonel - since your posted link is resolving to an error page, here's one that works:



But if I were you, I'd quickly go back in time and grab a quote or two from the source and post it here before it has disappeared.

I denounce the Colonel for posting time sensitive links that have expiration dates. It's down right....couponesque. But I retract that denouncement because he's raised our awareness.

Coupons are bourgeois. Imagine having to show documentation just to get a discount. An unfair document that others equally equal may not have in hand. And coupons have a monetary value, funny money, is that not virtual counterfeiting? Many shopkeepers have been caught trading in fraudulent blackmarket coupons. Coupons lead to corruption.

Comrades,

At the store for proles [myself included] everyone will get the same discount as everybody else.

The more equal store will offer bigger discounts on all items to the inner circle of leadership.

Anyone not agreeing with policy, please see the uniformed officers at the exit who will handle your complaint expeditiously. This will be your last opportunity to voice you opinion on this subject. [or any other] Do not be alarmed by the sound of firecrackers, they are harmless!