The People's Cube - Political Satire

Washington, DC - Responding to the growing furor over the pay checks of executives at enterprises that receive billions of dollars of the the taxpayer's money, the Obama administration will order the deep slashing of the compensation to highest paid executives, an official involved in the decision said on Wednesday.

Surprisingly to most observers, the decision is set to include the Administration officials too: " We at the Obama administration occupy the highest Executive Office of the Land ,"-- Kenneth R. Feinberg, Obama's "Executive-Pay Czar" was quoted as saying -- " at the time of continuing job losses, recession, and rising deficits. Taxpayer paid, if we are to remain credible with the American People and not be seen as anti-Capitalist, business-bashing hypocrites, we ought to cut our own salaries, political donations, and other income -- legal and otherwise -- until the economy improves."

(The cuts are for 2009 only, a source told People's Cube, and 2010 decisions will be made next year.)

In contrast to previous years, an official said, executives will receive no other compensation, such as bribes. In all branches of government, any executive seeking more than $25,000 in special perks — such as country club memberships, private planes, or limousines — will have to apply to the government for permission.

Since his appointment last June by Treasury Secretary Timothy F. Geithner, Mr. Feinberg has spent months in negotiations with the agencies as he seeks to balance compensation concerns against fears at the agencies, that any huge restrictions in pay could prompt an exodus of executives back to private sector.

While the toiling masses welcomed the news, some economists pointed out the drop of income tax revenues, that locales will suffer as a result of reduced income of these executives -- at the time, when the recession-hit communities can least afford it. The concerns have lead to proposals to alter the tax code to require the individuals to pay the income tax on their would-be income, that they would have received, had it not been cut by the announced pay reductions.

This story originally appeared in the The New York Times

That's a very wise course of action indeed. And not really hurting anyone in the administration, because in the new system the connections, the pull, the favors, and the kickbacks will be so much more important than money. Just like in the good old days in the Motherland.

Who needs money when you can have everything at a subsidized price by pulling a string or two with the right people?

Chairman Mao did it better when he marched all the doctors, lawyers, landlords, college professors, journalists and other "intellectuals" off to work in the rice paddies like common peasants, just to teach them all a lesson.

Too bad we don't have rice paddies here in the US.

Oh wait, we do have salt mines.

Comrades, this is a developing story. Stay tuned as we discuss the executives' pledge to limit the use of non-monetary compensation (such as use of airplanes) in excess of $25K...

Ok, I think, this may be ready for publication -- any high quality news organization ought to distribute this at once!

Excellent post, Comrade Mi,

Yes. Who needs money? It is completely unnecessary in our glorious system. One day, we'll all be so lucky to be rid of it.




Comrade mi,

I should think your post might attract some trolls. Let's hope we get some.

As for trolls, aren't they all under the bridge — with Dan Rather?