The People's Cube - Political Satire

My fellow comrades:

Apparently, slowing down for polar bears, singing songs, and signing treaties underwater won't be enough to raise everyone's awareness of the necessity to call attention to the gravity of understanding there will be serious ramifications and dire consequences from human-caused climate change, if we don't acknowledge the importance of addressing the need to take action NOW!

Just a little tingle I have, but I predict that in the year 2012, we will still be raising awareness and trying to bring the world's attention to Global Warming:

Artist Breaks Up Arctic Island to Celebrate 2012 London Olympics

An artist has been commissioned to dismantle an Arctic island and ship it to Britain as part of a £7 million Government arts project celebrating the 2012 Olympics.
Alex Hartley plans to break up the rocky outcrop, which is the size of a football pitch, and reassemble it as a "travelling embassy" for climate change which will sail around the south-west coast of England. The project is called nowhereisland and will cost £500,000 to stage.

That's right, it isn't just about the Olympics, comrades. It's about Saving the Planet.

Hartley spotted his island, which lies east of Greenland, during an expedition to the Arctic in 2004. It was previously hidden from view by glaciers and did not appear on any maps or charts. He claims to be the first preson ever to stand on it.

Comrades, if it weren't for Global Warming melting those glaciers, Mr. Hartley would never have seen that island! Ideally, he should never have seen it. No one should ever have seen it, or stood upon it, even before the Ice Age. It was meant to remain hidden for all time, and now, thanks to humans and their carbon emissions, there it is.

That being said, there's only one thing to do about it:

Hartley wants the island to be granted nation status and claims that 400 people have already signed up for citizenship. By 2012, he hopes to exceed 34,000 citizens, a number greater than the populations of Liechtenstein or Monaco.

According to the artist, nowhereisland "explores issues of climate change, land ownership, national identity and the exploitation of the earth's remaining natural resources".

And should we be alarmed by what moving this island from Greenland to England will do to the environment? Of course not! For you see, the awareness it will raise, the attention it will draw to the issue of Climate Change, will far outweigh any damage to the planet or potentially affected eco-systems:

He believes any environmental caused by breaking up the island and shipping it thousands of miles will be offset by the publicity he will generate on the issue of global warming.

And isn't that the important thing?

I just hope we still have a planet by 2012, but if not, I can always take up residence on “nowhere island.”

But after everything else we've tried--if THIS doesn't raise everyone's awareness of the need to put pressure on our leaders to get together and start taking action to talk about ways they can agree on what has to be done to address the pressing problem of climate change--then none of us deserve to live on this planet anymore.

Except, of course, for those of us who care.




Nowhere Island. What a fitting name to honor the whole Global Warming "movement."

Glorious, simply glorious! Dismantle a small rocky island, ship it to England, and then ship it all around England, burning Gore only knows how much fossil fuel. I hope they buy carbon offsets for it.
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*headbang* *twitch*

Comrades that is very keen progressive thinking- I salute them. However, I believe their heartfelt cause could be served even better if they would simply chain a colony of trained and groomed polar bears to the island as they tow it about the planet. These trained bears could then stand tall on hind legs and wave forlornly at The Children ™ as they sail past on Nowhere Island (on a 3 hour cruise, like comrade Gilligan).

Comrade Gore's giant houseboat “Bio-Solar One” should provide plenty of towing power to move Nowhere Island about the planet. Relax comrades, it's bio-diesel fueled.

Turboski

Komrade Turboski wrote: Comrade Gore's giant houseboat “Bio-Solar One” should provide plenty of towing power to move Nowhere Island about the planet. Relax comrades, it's bio-diesel fueled.

Just a reminder, whale oil is a biofuel.

(Just ask the Japanese)

I was reading the article you linked to, Pinkie, when I stumbled on this related article in the Related Articles side bar:

Tuvalu plots worlds first zero carbon output by 2020

Tuvalu has discovered the most reliable and sustainable source of energy ever devised by man: foreign aid.

Margaret wrote:I was reading the article you linked to, Pinkie, when I stumbled on this related article in the Related Articles side bar:

Tuvalu plots worlds first zero carbon output by 2020

Tuvalu has discovered the most reliable and sustainable source of energy ever devised by man: foreign aid.

Goodness, that article sends a progressive tingle up the collective leg! They are progressively setting the example for the world.

"In response, a 40 kilowatt solar energy system has been installed on the roof of the country's largest football stadium. The panels now supply five per cent of the electricity needed by the capital, Funafuti "

Wow, and 40kW is enough to supply 5% of the nation's capital, Fun-afruiti. Let's see, 40kW system on top of their stadium- that's a whopping 53 hp. Enough power to move a VW beettle around! Yes comrades, I can see how this could translate into saving the planet!

Turboski

Colonel 7.62 wrote:Glorious, simply glorious! Dismantle a small rocky island, ship it to England, and then ship it all around England, burning Gore only knows how much fossil fuel. I hope they buy carbon offsets for it.
{off}
*headbang* *twitch*

I'm sure Comrade Gore will buy some. He is always in need of extra CCs. With that said, I would think that any piece of Arctic property is the People's Property, and this exhibit is an act of reverence to its sacredness.

Nowhere Island. What a fitting name to honor the whole Global Warming "movement."

Downright Utopian.

Say, can we cubists get residency to the island? I say someone needs to make a petition for citizenship to this Utopian island. If y'all want me to do that, just notify me. You are right Pinkie, the fact Mr. Hartley found the island is truly a red flag to all to come together, holding hands, and surrender our modern, and harmful ways to the UN, who know how to destroy such atrocities and govern us correctly.

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I'd laugh so hard if that island was the only island a rare species of some sort use as a breeding ground, and by destroying it, he destroys a species.

Also, I wonder if they will actually go through with this as a nation. If it does, I can't wait for their government to go bankrupt, or even better, go bankrupt and basically look like a third world nation.

They are truly nuts folks, they have finally gotten so desperate to advance such a lie they are going to remove an island and have it sail around the world. I thought I've seen everything.

Comrade Elliott,

Only one who lives in a state that becomes an ice chunk for 8 months would think of making such an island his home. I bet you don't even wear a coat if it's above 5 below.

Leninka wrote:Comrade Elliott,

Only one who lives in a state that becomes an ice chunk for 8 months would think of making such an island his home. I bet you don't even wear a coat if it's above 5 below.

Hahahaha. . . I don't know whether to take that as an insult or a joke .

However it is true, we don't wear coats until it gets to about -50°F, and even there, the toughest simply sit outside pondering life as an arctic wind howls across them, not caring a bit about the weather.

Oh, dear, no, I hope you weren't insulted! I am a great admirer of you and your fellow Nordic dwellers. It's that I have waited hand and footcatered to one of your fellow state residents (former states residents), for the last 20 years. That you would suggest a block of ice as a residence is only an observation. To us, here in Texas, a chunk of ice is something we would use to ward off the heat.

If there was any insult, it was the product of envy. As you can see from the video below, there isn't a drop of snow on the ground in the dead of winter:

Leninka wrote:Oh, dear, no, I hope you weren't insulted! I am a great admirer of you and your fellow Nordic dwellers. It's that I have waited hand and footcatered to one of your fellow state residents (former states residents), for the last 20 years. That you would suggest a block of ice as a residence is only an observation. To us, here in Texas, a chunk of ice is something we would use to ward off the heat.

If there was any insult, it was the product of envy. As you can see from the video below, there isn't a drop of snow on the ground in the dead of winter:

That's what the was for. I knew you were joking.

Thank you, Comrade Elliott,

I did think so. But, I do tend to single you out, Comrade Elliott, as you are from a state I am quite fond of. Even before I met my spouse, my closest female comrade friend was from the town of Paul Bunyon and Babe the Blue Ox, and sometimes I slip into that distinctive accent from the Northern part of your state. It is the closest thing we have in the USSA to Siberia, the home of so many korrective kamps.

Oh, and I just received a letter letting me know that you had one of the coldest Octobers on record, once again, proving that global warming really does lead to global cooling.