The People's Cube - Political Satire

So last week I was sitting in the bunker, working on balancing the various versions of People's Time(TM) ensuring certain precincts in New Jersey and Virginia would have more than enough time to get all their votes counted the correct way, when I rather loudly passed gas. I was about to write a memo saying that that particular bunker clearing act never actually happened when the two guards in the room shouted in unison "PRAISE OBAMA!".

I shook my head with sadness, and was about to order their execution when I decided to ask them first, why they profaned The Obamessiah(TM) in that fashion.

"Why Comrade Colonel; we thought Chairman O was on the radio giving a speech again. Honestly, it sounded just like him." I mulled that over for a minute, and feeling the effects of the chili, week old borscht, and cheap vodka again, stepped into another room to vent a little so to speak. Again, just before passing out, the proles in the room stood up at attention and shouted "PRAISE OBAMA!"

So I started thinking. The ways of Obama are many and mysterious, and on top of it all, everything flows from his generosity. Had He not provided the chili, week old borscht, and cheap vodka, I would not have experienced my bunker clearing moments, nor would I have learned that even the baser reactions of the human body wish to honor Obama by mimicking His speech.

Indeed, one could say flatulence is the after effects of the blessing of food and drink given so freely by Chairman O. Without His generosity, how could one eat? The act of flatulence is a form of praise, much like belching after a meal is praise for a cook in some societies.

So please Comrades, remember that after you have that bowl of spicy beet chili, what comes next is simply another praise for Obama!



{off} This was inspired last week on a hunting trip with Comrade just_a_car and myself. Something I had eaten the day before very plainly did not agree with me, and every time I passed gas, I jokingly said "Obama!" which in turn he evolved quickly into "PRAAAIIIISSSE OBAMA!!!!"
Yes I know, potty humor, but it was funny as heck at the time...

Indeed, we must praise his Obamaness for all our bodily functions, for they come from his generosity and his omnipresence.

I believe I'm going to find a bottle of Party-Issued™ vodka to induce some Hope™ for the above pictured alter.

{off} Yup... "Praaaiiiise Obama!" being said in an excited old Black lady voice, of course.

And, don't forget the gut-buster "Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States..." *RrRrIiiipPp!!!* :-p

Then there was the *Rip!* "Obama's Speechifyin'!!!" LOL!

'Tis true, Obama's voice often speaks to us through a$$holes: Reid, Pelosi, Rahm, Axelrod, Olberman, Moore, Gawdawfulo, etc, etc.

Opiate of the People wrote:

'Tis true, Obama's voice often speaks to us through a$$holes: Reid, Pelosi, Rahm, Axelrod, Olberman, Moore, Gawdawfulo, etc, etc.

(off)
And though his.

BTW, why would you put a toilet seat on your toilet? You are sitting on the O, and all your crap is going into the toilet. The best I can give is to paint the inside of the toilet with the O, so you unload your crap, and poop into the big O, as opposed to unloading it into a toilet with an O seat.

Also, is it the royal throne if the O is anywhere on there? I'd assume the One would redistribute the royalties of the swirling seat of peace.

Colonel 7.62 wrote:

{off} This was inspired last week on a hunting trip with Comrade just_a_car and myself. Something I had eaten the day before very plainly did not agree with me, and every time I passed gas, I jokingly said "Obama!" which in turn he evolved quickly into "PRAAAIIIISSSE OBAMA!!!!"
Yes I know, potty humor, but it was funny as heck at the time...

Missing accessories?

Giving praise to the One in this fashion though creates a bit of a conundrum. If I let rip with a giant pickled-cabbage induced "vocalization" of praise (including the lisp that's developed with age), won't I be guilty of a hate crime perpetrated against mother earth for releasing large quantities of greenhouse gas???

Comrades, I fear this event may have contributed to Global Warming Climate Change(TM).

The act of flatulence is a form of praise, much like belching after a meal is praise for a cook in some societies.

Comrade Colonel,
To add to the praises of His Highness, I made a huge pot of potato-beet-cabbage-pepsi-slaw tonight for my four little beets. They loved it and played the "Obama National Anthem" with their lil' trumpets!


(Imagine hearing "Me tooted!" and infectious giggling for hours on end! It happens regularly around here! Now every time I hear it, I will have to remember your hunting trip!)

We've come a long way since the days when people once painted their toilet seats with pink poodles. Praise Obama.