11/22/2009, 4:53 am
With that said I will refrain from actually reading the book and will instead just bash Palin because that would be the quickest way to get an invitation to Charles and Melinda's Holiday party. Hey, I'm on the ropes and in need of the self-congratulation that I can only get at a Georgetown cocktail party (or a seedy motel off of I-95).
Who is Sarah Palin?
A wretched woman who seeks to steal the bread from your mouths and the milk from your young! There is absolutely nothing new about Sarah Palin that we didn't already know. We already know that Sarah is a simpleton from the backwoods of the Alaskan wilderness and that she was educated at a university tucked away somewhere in the awful, awful Midwest (gasp!). We already know Sarah hates the poor, minorities, children and indigenous Antler-Americans who she routinely hunted for sport. We already know this Sarah Palin and all her flaws -- flaws that lie deep beneath her seemingly attractive appearance which she uses to lure good Progressive men into her sultry web of lies.
Yes, this Sarah Palin is familiar and her book Going Rogue just rehashes the same old pish-posh about not aborting her useless baby -- extremely useless if were talking taxes -- as well as the stories you would hear from any other typical rube from fly-over country. We hear stories of values, religion, this, that and what-not. We hear stories of stories and more stories which, if I may say so, I for one simply do not have the time of day to read in order to pass along my enlightened opinion onto you the elite that I call my readership. No, we just don't care about your values, Sarah. We don't care about your family, either. Give us substance. Give us something that says, "Hey, I'm just in it for the money and President-for-life Obama has nothing to worry about!" or, "Hey, I'm just in it for the money and yes the media is right about me: I am indeed a stupid, backward rube incapable of being president of the United States". Give us that, Sarah. Give us what we want and maybe -- maybe -- we will say something nice and invite you to a who's who of the Washingtonian elite (don't get your hopes up, though). Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin.
There is no "fascination" with the Moose Mama.
What fascination? I have no idea why we, the American elite, are accused of having some sort of deep-seated fear of a woman who we all agree is incapable of reading, writing and forming a coherent thought. This woman poses absolutely no threat whatsoever to our future and the bright future the Obama administration is creating. Sarah Palin has absolutely nothing to offer but more of the same and this idea of "fascination" is just silly. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin. Honestly, I certainly do not sit around wondering what Sarah Palin is up to or what nefarious schemes she is hatching with a gaggle of top GOP operatives. No, I don't lie in bed every night, unable to sleep, pondering how she plans on destroying the Democratic majority and usurping the crown majestical from President-for-life Obama. No, I do not think such thought. I do not worry about such issues. Sarah Palin is the last thing I think about, speak about or end each and every paragraph with. Sarah Palin has no sway on me or others. We are free of Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin.
Does Sarah Palin have a political future?
No, she graduated from a Midwestern university which, if I am correct, happens to be public. The woman has no place in national politics and I believe her chances of winning national office are slim to none. Americans want a deep-thinking president capable of thinking about pertinent issues, deeply, and with the air of deep, deep thought. Deep thinking is key here in understanding the Obama administration and why Americans broke overwhelming for the president: the man knows how to think and he does so deeply. Some would call this being "indecisive" and those who would dare declare such blasphemy are Teabaggers and Teabaggers are reactionary racist upset that they will have to volunteer a little bit more coin for the Common Good. These people, if we're still considering them "people", should not be worth the time of serious thinking people. Discount their opinions of our president, friends. They are nothing more than Un-American hordes of Palin-lovin' racist too good to chip in half of their income for the benefit of whole Democratic constituencies. Damn you, Sarah Palin. Damn you and the moose you rode in on.
Back to Palin: Does she have a chance at the White House? Answer: No. No. No.
No. She simply isn't a deep thinker, a maverick, a moderate, a centrist, or whatever we are calling Republicans who help us shove our agenda down the throats of Un-American Americans. My choice: I would back Huckabee if I were a Republican. Huckabee is a perfect Left-wing caricature of the backward, hypocritical and money-hungry evangelical Christian with a thin skin and a thirst for power. Huckabee is absolutely and totally electable would make a fine Republican nominee and one that makes me quake in my fine Italian leather ankle boots. Republicans would be fools, damned fools, for not allowing this man a shot at the nomination.
But despite Huckabee being the strongest candidate -- especially with intellectual titan Chuck Norris in his corner -- Romney-care as well as the lackluster Tim Pawlenty would make fine candidates, too. These are Republicans Americans can get behind considering that these candidates are not polarizing and divisive like Sarah Palin who only wishes to divide and destroy the delicate fabric that is American democracy. I and other members of the media, the American elite, and the Democratic party in general could see ourselves getting behind a Huckabee, a Romney or a Pawlenty -- they are really fine candidates and genuinely care about working with the other side at their own detriment.
Of course I must admit that I would vote to re-elect President-for-life Obama although I would doubt most of my colleagues would do the same if a McCain/Romney ticket or a Feingold/McCain ticket were put together by the GOP in 2012. A Snowe/Specter ticket is also intriguing and I could see myself voting for such a ticket over the president's if such a possibility came to fruition. In the end, when the GOP goes to form a ticket like we Democrats anoint our candidates it should always have the other party's members in mind. You simply cannot win the White House without Progressive Democrats! Just go away, Sarah Palin, and give the GOP a fighting chance!
Final Thoughts
Sarah Palin: idiot, moron, racist, woman-hater, fascist, or all of the above? Well, all of the above... and then some. Sarah Palin's star is rising as we are treated to interview after interview of this dumb woman and her dumb statements that are, in all fairness, rather dumb. I heard dumb proclamations on her choosing life, or as we say, choosing a burden. We heard dumb statements like allowing the Israelis to expand their settlements or cutting taxes and allowing small businesses to keep what they earn in an effort to turn the economy around.
All in all this week's Palin coverage was a marathon in dumb that lacked the intellectual force that is the mind of Barack Obama. Speaking of which, how does President-for-life Obama think about Sarah Palin? When will the media -- the corporate-controlled right-wing media, I might add -- ask President-for-life Obama, "Say, how about that Sarah Palin? How would she destroy this country, Mr. President?" or, "President-for-life Obama, Sarah Palin plans on starving children, what are your thoughts?". Just when will the media ask such questions of our leaders and their thoughts on the imbecile that is Sarah Palin?
In closing, we don't know who Sarah Palin exactly is other than a raving moron out to establish a laissez-faire child-starving theocracy and we probably will not get the full story on this woman until 2012. One thing is certain: she is a threat, she hates children, and the deep thinking people of America, the Democrats, need to take inventory and realize that a woman like this can only get elected if we allow her. Think long and hard, Democrats. Think long and hard about Sarah Palin. I know I do although I have no fascination with the woman. Sarah Palin.
Hint it ain't tuna.