The People's Cube - Political Satire

WASHINGTON – Buried in Nancy Pelosi's proposed health care bill is an innovative new tax to help fund it: a tax on “big words” used in print and in public. The tax was somehow missed by both people on the Hill who have read the complete legislation and was only discovered recently when a blogger from The Hell Gazette was doing keyword searches in the document for the word “tax”. Sometimes referred to as “10 cent words” because of a New Deal era attempt to tax them, words that are now subject to taxation are ones that contain 4 or more syllables or are not “in common usage by the average person.”

At a hastily convened press conference, the Speaker of the House defended the tax. “Too many of the rich people in this country are using words that are incomprehens- uh, too big for the rest of us”, Mrs. Pelosi replied, when asked about the concept behind the tax.

While revealing details of the events leading up to the tax, she acknowledged that Republicans had offered an alternative tax on “four letter words” that would have produced more income but could have had some impact on public discourse. In the end, it was decided that the Big Words Tax was more progressive, as it targeted folks with more education – who “should be paying for all this.”

Pelosi's office provided a few example sentences and assessments if this tax remains in the final legislation.

“Large, complex bills tend to obfuscate their purpose.” The word “obfuscate” is a word only the very rich would use and will be taxed. Regular people use “obscure”.

“Elected officials who espouse egalitarian ideals sometimes travel by private jet at public expense.” “Egalitarian” is a no-no. Recommend “populist” if you don't want to pay extra for it. “Espouse” might be ok, but you should consult a lawyer before you just go and use it.

“The Government's fiduciary duty is to represent the will of the people.” The use of “fiduciary” here is not only an uncommon word, but redundant. It would be taxed twice under the new rules.

Around the country, powerful forces such as the Association of Thesaurus Makers and the Philosophy Professors Union are already lining up to oppose the measure.

Documents and statements made before the new law is enacted, such as the Declaration of Independence, will be grandfathered.

No problem here, I barely use such big words, after all, I r a koleg stoodnt.

(off)
Imagine such a preposterous piece of convoluted legislation! If Congress actually had the audacity to progress such a horrendous idea, I'd flee America simple for the fact of being unable to use such bigger syllable words. I like my syllables.

Strange that you use the word "audacity".... that particular word is no longer on the "big words" list. It entered the common lexicon sometime last year.

I hope Nansky will add an amendment to make the Prole's pay for using the word douchebag, whenever they think of her.

mvb (my very best) comrades we need to advance this idea further what about caps unnecessary wordage when lol would do and last but not least punctuation the time and energy savings would be huge think of the revenues for the children

Komrade Zarkof wrote:I hope Nansky will add an amendment to make the Prole's pay for using the word douchebag, whenever they think of her.

Good addition Komrade Zarkof.

After reviewing the bill in its entirety, I believe the 4 syllable limit for the first tax level would be perfect. If you were to make it a "more progressive" tax, you could increase the amount of tax on a per-syllable basis after the first 4. Of course, tax at a full 95% for the word "antidisestablishmentarianism".

Once you hit that limit, we could add in a per character tax. And for that, we could take <a href="https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/floccina ... lification[/b]</a> to be the upper limit at 29 characters total.

And the wisdom of the Great Leader Peloski is evident since "teabagger" is only 3 syllables, and thus not subject to the tax. So the left-wing loony Main Stream Media can use "teabagger" to its fullest potential.

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If conservatives are "teabagger" .... who's the "teabaggie"? Just need a t-shirt that says: "Dude, I teabagged the President, and I couldn't even get a smoke afterward."

Comrade Pewkov,

I like the complexity of your proposed tax, very well done. You must be a government employee.

In honor of another new tax to benefit the children, I had the "guests" here in gulag make posters to honor one of our most loyal. Orders are pouring in from the bay area and proceeds will be used to fill the inner circles coffers...


LONG LIVE COMMISSARKA PELOSKI !!!



Disclaimer:
Use of "Commissarka" exceeds the 4 syllable limit & is subject to taxation.

Panem Et Circenses wrote:Comrade Pewkov,

I like the complexity of your proposed tax, very well done. You must be a government employee.

Unfortunately Comrade, I amd not a government employee ... yet.

Though, through fortune, my father is a government employee, and I hope to be one ... one day. He says its pennance for the 3 years he had an easy job, and the back of his heels have calloused over, so they're not sore anymore. However, the padding on his chair is "party approved" thickness of 1/16th of an inch.

He works for the state lottery tax division for the mathematically challenged.

My progressive professors at Harvard always taught me to write in the idiom of the common folk.

And that's why Palin's book is a flop, she uses too many big phrases like "You betcha by golly." It's that sort of arcane linguistic obfuscation that turns off the workers of the world.

arcane linguistic obfuscation

This is the type of language that gets people into trouble. Make no mistake, Comrade Whoopie: we are watching you.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:It's that sort of arcane linguistic obfuscation that turns off the workers of the world.

You lost me after "It's that sort of" ... needless to say, the tax, calculated based some arbitrary formulas, comes to be $5,371.55.

I'll expect you to personally bring the payment to the nearest re-educa ... thought school ... immediately.

At First Directorate FSB we have machine to read the thinking of all thought criminals.
Like little cartoon character have words above head and we see.
Only way to avoid persecution tax is have no thinking in head.
All liberals, Pelosi, Reid, Obama, et al, get automatic exemption from tax because
they have no original thinking in head. Only have word in head which we put into
head for them to do something. Like puppet true party hero.

There will be no grandfathered (which is a paternalistic and male centric word which must be banned) words. Rather, I have been requested by Comrade Peoloski to ensure a proper retroactive tax, going back to the earliest days of this nation. In addition to this, there will be another retroactive tax for health care applied to ALL US citizens, living or dead, with the direct descendents being responsible for their ancestor's health taxes.