The People's Cube - Political Satire

Comrades,

It will inevitably come out in the hastily convened tribunal, but which one of you has allowed “science” into the media discussion of Global Climate Change? Confessing now will speed up the execution help to assuage your guilty conscience(s).

As you know, the unwashed masses of America are far too stupidbusy to be bothered with actual “science.” Letting it into the conversation will only confuse the average citizen, thus shaking their confidence in our wonderfully crafted misnomer that the “science has been settled” based on the hilarious concept of “consensus” which we ourselves manufactured.

Science should never be mentioned. Need I remind everyone that the Party's current ability to stage and promote the “AGW” fad is found in our ability to manipulate diverse social forces leaving little or no room for actual science.

For example:

The less than subtle way we forced the evolution of left (social-democratic) political forces towards a new electoral marketing - militant form of environmentalism, and technocratic managerialism.

• The easily accomplished transformation of 'ecological' organizations into profitable non-profit, macro-capitalist funds.
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• Which of course by necessity led to the designing of multiple State bureaucracies to control the entirety of social life with our new regulatory mechanisms.
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• The purposefully subtle eduction of an International State technobureaucracy in search of supranational powers and jurisdictions.
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• To these heavily influenced (behind the scenes of course) social forces one must add the worldwide unregulated growth of cadres and the transformation of forces of antiproduction and destruction into profitable ventures.
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  Which led to:
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• an excess of PhD's in physics and mathematics with little left to aim for other than the pursuit of a career within the official institutions of organized dissent, where they endlessly generate models and fads pliable to our political interests, in particular those fads that are dear to the global techno-socialist management of capitalism;
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  And then finally:
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• the subsidies, grants and investment provided to 'green' groups (us) by some of the worst polluter industries (e.g. oil, nuclear companies, utilities, etc) as a way to redeem their status or blanch their image, and as a sort of 'protection fee,' doing nothing for the actual environment.

You see Comrades all of this was accomplished politically and there has been no need for expensive labs or field work. To quote Comrade Opiate: who is too smart for his own good and must be dealt with accordingly:

Comrade Opiate wrote:Proper scientific method has been followed: politicians decided what the correct results were to be and the data was manipulated to fit!

So take time out during your day to day scut work and ask yourself what can you do for the party to promote global climate change?

Comrade Robot,

We should look with awe and deep respect at the lead taken by the many international corporations (many of which contributed copiously to Obama's coronation fund) in the fight against AGW. THEY have seen fit to fight AGW by moving production facilities and jobs to China and India whose leaders don't really give an airborne fornication about AGW. Now, you may be asking yourself, "How does doing this fight AGW?" Well, you shouldn't be asking yourself, you should be asking me. Because then I would tell you the answer, which is that doing so means idle American workers will have more time available to grab their shovels and sequester carbon. Plus, since so many will not have jobs, they will not need to drive their SUVs anywhere every morning (or have the money to buy gas and go anywhere at all in the afternoon) and thus can spend their time on the unemployment line (for those who haven't yet exhausted that option) thinking up ways to repent for their many sins against Gaia.

This is all right and just and part of the Lightbringer's plan. If you do not find your associaton with his mighty intellect humbling, don't worry, you will.

Proletarian Robot wrote:Comrades,
"Proper scientific method has been followed: politicians decided what the correct results were to be and the data was manipulated to fit!"
So take time out during your day to day scut work and ask yourself what can you do for the party to promote global climate change?

I would simply interject that it was our comrade communist ... fascist.. politicians who should receive the credit and glory, dear Comrade bot.

And as for your last sentence - I dare not displeasure or antagonize my most dear gulag Leader by stealing any work hours from our glorious government mandate. I shall use my "free time" - rather than waste those 5 min. on a selfishly conceived meal.

I think we can always rely on examples set by the Goracle, and laud all of his efforts in the cause. If you tell a lie enough times, it will come true.

Make sure you tell the lies over and over again and scare as many children as possible.

Here are the 5 most important lies to tell over and over again:

America is the most evil country on the planet because we pollute more and our evil consumer society is leading to global warming.

America is the most evil country on the planet because we pollute more and our evil consumer society is leading to global warming which will lead to diseases.

America is the most evil country on the planet because we pollute more and our evil consumer society is leading to global warming which will lead to diseases, and hurricanes.

America is the most evil country on the planet because we pollute more and our evil consumer society is leading to global warming which will lead to diseases, hurricanes, droughts and heat waves.

America is the most evil country on the planet because we pollute more and our evil consumer society is leading to global warming which will lead to diseases, hurricanes, droughts, heat waves, and war.

America is the most evil country on the planet because we pollute more and our evil consumer society is leading to global warming which will lead to diseases, hurricanes, droughts, heat waves, war, cause the polar ice caps to melt and seas to rise.

America is the most evil country on the planet because we pollute more and our evil consumer society is leading to global warming which will lead to diseases, hurricanes, droughts, heat waves, war, cause the polar ice caps to melt, the seas to rise, and then, we'll all be dead because:

America is the most evil country on the planet because we pollute more and our evil consumer society is leading to global warming.

Glorious, Leninka, just glorious. And, please note, it agrees exactly with what Obama Osama bin Laden said, just the other day.

I feel a tear . . . .

Breaking News:

Radical anti-American leader blames US for Global Warming