The People's Cube - Political Satire

Fidel Castro has announced an energy revolution in Cuba and I, as the head of Halliburton, am pleased to be a part of this exciting new era of energy production.

Gone are the days of blackouts in Cuba and, in time, the world. As Fidel has so eloquently stated: Cuba is leading the way! Let Cuba show the world!

Here is the whole story from the official Cuban news:

https://www.granma.cu/ingles/2006/enero/mier18/04fidel.html

The Cuban revolution in energy production is really quite simple. Rather than sit back and watch the Cuban infrasture crumble, as is happening in the capitalist world, the Cubans are designing, innovating and thinking ahead - they've set up special Halliburton 21st Century generators all over Cuba that utilize environmentally safe, energy efficient diesel fuel!

This is true progress. Rather than have central generating stations that transmit electricity and, as the world has found out much to it's chagrin, are prone to brown and black-outs - this new system of small diesel generators stratigically placed at thousands of locations all over towns and cities virtually guarantees that brown and black-outs will be a thing of the past! Says Castro: Cuba is a showcase to the world of a whole new era of energy production! Welcome to the the 21st century!

Just one of the thousands of Halliburton 21st Century Energy Production Units sold to Cuba. Join the future!

Another first for socialism and we at Halliburton 21st Century are proud to be a part of it.

Comrades!
As Fidel has had such spectacular results from the National Diet Plan (You don't see many fat Cubans) and universal health care and literacy, you owe it to yourself to listen to him. For about 5 hours, as his speeches usually run these days.

When the Fascistic Bush regime starts bombing (any day now, going on 47 years), they will go after the big powerplants first. The genius of distributing power generation will then become apparent, with free gas compliments of the grateful people of Venezuela.

URGENT UPDATE! (heh)

Havana, Jan 19 (EFE).- Power went out across the Cuban capital Thursday, reportedly the result of damage done by strong winds to the electricity distribution network.

The blackout began shortly after dawn and continued as of late afternoon in much of the city of 2.1 million people.
Authorities said the outage appeared to have been caused by strong winds that buffeted the city and its environs overnight. It came two days after Fidel Castro unveiled a master plan to overhaul Cuba's dilapidated network for generating and distributing electricity.

Dearest Thought-Traitor, $.$. Halliburton...

I am somewhat confused... but then I am often confused in the short periods I awake from hibernation during the long kold dark of the Kanadjian winter... while I have been sleeping for the last month, has some sort of coup d'etat occurred in your brain?... a small Sharon-like stroke perhaps? Are you not the same $.$ Halliburton - thought-traitor - who wishes to enslave the working class and believes that Comrade Castro should elevate himself to the status of Emperor? Or perhaps you have finally tricked the once vigorous but now doddering Fidel, into enthroning himself and taking on the title of... to quote you... King of Cuba...

I can only imagine this to be the case though I am fairly certain, even in my 'tween-periods-of-hibernation bewilderment, that neither of you have signed on to the Kyoto Accord - Castro as leader of Cuba and you as leader of The Evil Military-Industrial Komplex... and I weep for the decimation of what I imagine to be Cuba's pristine environment lacking, as it has for so long, the 'amenities' of the first world, and so the dross and midden left by Escalades and Hummers and Mass Industrialization, not to mention the sheer volume of leavings created by the krass konsumerism of Western Kulture.

At best, I can only hope that the greenhouse effect kreated by your latest treachery will serve to warm the frozen wasteland I currently reside in... and melt the polar icecaps enough that you drown in the rising waters (the dolphins are on their way as I write this, with orders to hole your yacht).

You are an evil, evil man... and now I go to drink my monthly ration of viktory vodka and return to my natural winter state. I have only nightmares to look forward to for the next month, and must trust that Comrade Castro will have returned to his senses when I next awake in late February.

As Comrade Otis so often reminds us, "Character Counts"...
Viva La Revolution
Sister Massively Opiated.

and melt the polar icecaps enough that you drown in the rising waters

The rising water thing is a complete misunderstanding. Water gets bigger when it freezes and takes up more space, if the ice melts, then it gets smaller. Kind of like a glass full of ice water. It doesn't overflow no matter how much ice melts.