The People's Cube - Political Satire

Earth-Hour Lights Out must NOW become "Earth-Decade Lights Out"

Fellow Comrades, Progs, Proles and Sweating Masses:

To save Mother Earth, we must make 2010 the year in which "Earth-Decade Lights-Out" superseded (dare I say "eclipsed") "Earth-Hour Lights-Out." More follows the entrance (below) into the land of The Gorbels Cube:



GAIA Mininister Neytiri wholeheartedly agrees with me. Ten years of lights out living within the harmony-with-nature rules that have held sway on her native planet, Pandora, for eons, will be sufficient to reverse our pushig Mother Earth toward the cataclysmic result of Global Warming.

Skeptics may ask:

"How will we make it through the night? If we burn fires, won't we be adding CO2 to the atmosphere and thus making Global Warming worse instead of better"

There is a clear scientific answer to that:

What do Na'vis do at night? They spend the evenings in stimulating ways that only require starlight and the sense of touch.

But skeptics say, "Doesn't that lead to a population explosion and thus cause a carbon-footprint bomb coinciding with a population bomb?"

The answer is obviously "no" because the carbon-footprint bomb comes not from increases in population but rather upon the effects of what the increased population does-- i.e, innovation, inventiveness, etc."

But skeptics say, "But that's impossible-- a population cannot be so stagnant."

They're wrong. We already have scientific evidence. An experiment conducted on Earth decades ago prove that embracing a "Na'vi" type of harmony-with-nature lifestyle does yield a population that wisely eschews climate-threatening behavior such as innovation, inventiveness, etc. The Woodstock Generation has proven this beyond any serious doubt.

Additionally, as an enticement to encourage younger generations of Americans to save Mother Earth by emulating the Woodstock Generation, we have ready means to persuade them. The young generations today are especially computer-savvy. Unlike the older generations, they are eager to embrace computer models.



Thus, we emulate "Rock the Vote's" utilization of raw sexual appeal to entice scientifically untrained minds in the younger generations to eagerly embrace our cause.

We must be open to other, additional ways to induce the population at large to embrace "Earth-Decade Lights-Out."

--Gorbels Cube

I denounce apples growing in front of computer models!!!!!!

Czar Czar wrote:I denounce apples growing in front of computer models!!!!!!

But the models insist, and GAIA Minister Neytiri doesn't want to be upstaged or out-classed. She has risen so high in the Collective now that I dare not challenge her else she might even surpass me. She might even start a more lucrative business public-service organization than mine to sell carbon-offset credits. Frankly, I fear people might prefer to buy such credits from a babe than from my company. Oops, I hope she's not reading this.

But then, I could always threaten to body-paint my models blue and none of them would have that wierd brow that she has. Maybe it's not too bad if she reads this.

I know she had quite complimentary things to say about you and even solicited you to join her in producing videos for the greater good. She hasn't told me whether you ever took her upon her offer. Maybe I shouldn't suggest this because the two of you together might easily rise above me in the collective.

On the other hand, I still have lots of computer models. I'm still working on finishing "GAIA Genesis."

--Gorbels Cube

Raise the Awareness Flag!
Raise it high!
Let our Awareness colors fly.

Laika the Space Dog wrote:Raise the Awareness Flag!
Raise it high!
Let our Awareness colors fly.

Dear Laika,

I'm humbled by your posting comments supporting my glorious mission, which pales into insignificance compared to yours. Few in the Cube have your status. It's as though Yuri Gagarin* had traveled through a time-space warp to visit me.



Even capitalist swine recognize your and Gagarin's courage in Earth's first steps into the Final Frontier.

I'm working on a suitable flag per your suggestion.

Stay tuned.
--Gorbels Cube

Please forgive my frankness (not to be confused with Barney "the Frank") but, where have you been, dear comrade? "Earth-Decade Lights-Out" has been in the gulag since that sorry-ass weeny Presidente Jimma 'peanut in more ways than one' Cater was grand fuhrer. As we say in the people 'lag', if you can't cook beets in moonlight, then you just can't cook.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Please forgive my frankness (not to be confused with Barney "the Frank") but, where have you been, dear comrade? "Earth-Decade Lights-Out" has been in the gulag since that sorry-ass weeny Presidente Jimma 'peanut in more ways than one' Cater was grand fuhrer.

Fraulein,

Are you committing the heresy of speaking less than glowingly of Jimmy Carter? My recollection is that we had lights under Carter (in addition to the effects of his glowing personna). And I think all High-Ranking Party Officials recognize that our current Maximum Leader is the embodiment of Carter on steroids. I offer the news-clip below as proof that such is how our Maximum Leader is currently revered:



I hope Leninka understands this to be a YouTube that is relevant to address a point made by a Prog in commenting on a post.

--Gorbels Cube.

Gorbels Cube wrote: Fraulein,

Are you committing the heresy of speaking less than glowingly of Jimmy Carter? My recollection is that we had lights under Carter (in addition to the effects of his glowing personna). And I think all High-Ranking Party Officials recognize that our current Maximum Leader is the embodiment of Carter on steroids. I offer the news-clip below as proof that such is how our Maximum Leader is currently revered:

I hope Leninka understands this to be a YouTube that is relevant to address a point made by a Prog in commenting on a post.

--Gorbels Cube.

NO, NO, N !! (that's the kind of **** that got me IN the gulag!) Surely you misconstrewed my comments regarding dearidiot bonehead Cater, comrade Gorbles!?

And I must denounce you for offering an offending video of dear Leader becoming whiter than the whiteness he likes he hide behind to bash whites he is. Maybe a beer summit is in order?

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:

Gorbels Cube wrote: Maybe a beer summit is in order?

Fraulein,

Good suggestion as long as it's Lite Beer with peanuts as the side-dish (or arugula?). Maximum Leader could bring his smoking sticks and I'll bring some smokin-hot computer models we use in AGW research (as show in the picture near the beginning of this post).

--Gorbels Cube

Smoking sticks smokin-hot.... dear comrade, this sounds CAPITALIST. (maybe a trip to Jiffy-Lobo is required?) As for beer, I think full bodied might be necessary, considering this isn't a vodka (has more kick) summit?
Now, back to the beets.........

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Smoking sticks smokin-hot.... dear comrade, this sounds CAPITALIST. (maybe a trip to Jiffy-Lobo is required?) As for beer, I think full bodied might be necessary, considering this isn't a vodka (has more kick) summit?
Now, back to the beets.........

Fraulein,

Regarding "smoking sticks" and "smokin-hot [chics]," your errant thinking is obvious. Such practices may have capitalist overtones when committed by ordinary mortals, but whatever is done by Maximum Leader is ipso facto collectivist rather than capitalistic. Remember, war is peace, ignorance is knowledge, and Maximum Leader's "smoking sticks" are examples of collectivist medication wholly consistent with ObamaCare. Furthermore, "smokin-hot chics" are merely acceptable collectivist relics from the reign of Comrade Bubba, whom our current Maximum Leader has deputized, just as he has deputized me to Save the Planet. Thus, as a high, exalted deputy, anything I do that might smack of capitalism if done by anyone else (making money from selling carbon-credit indulgences, for example) is not "capitalistic" but rather is something I'm doing for the Collective Good. I refer again to the image-link revealing the location and link to such actions on my part for the Collective Good.

--Gorbels Cube

Gorbels Cube wrote: Fraulein,

Regarding "smoking sticks" and "smokin-hot [chics]," your errant thinking is obvious. Such practices may have capitalist overtones when committed by ordinary mortals, but whatever is done by Maximum Leader is ipso facto collectivist rather than capitalistic. Remember, war is peace, ignorance is knowledge, and Maximum Leader's "smoking sticks" are examples of collectivist medication wholly consistent with ObamaCare. Furthermore, "smokin-hot chics" are merely acceptable collectivist relics from the reign of Comrade Bubba, whom our current Maximum Leader has deputized, just as he has deputized me to Save the Planet. Thus, as a high, exalted deputy, anything I do that might smack of capitalism if done by anyone else (making money from selling carbon-credit indulgences, for example) is not "capitalistic" but rather is something I'm doing for the Collective Good. I refer again to the image-link revealing the location and link to such actions on my part for the Collective Good.

--Gorbels Cube

Great fancy gulags comrade, you have hit the collective nail on the head! I should know, by freak'nnow, not to allow myself to be reprimanded to Jiffy-Lobo right after a perm (chemical inductions infer with 'lobo's). Truth is false! Right is wrong! Ignorance is blissful knowledge for the brilliant socialist collectives ... yes, yes! If it's good enough of Michael 'Commie' Moore, it's good enough for the beet eaters.
Thank you for reorienting my mind-think. Truly, a Prog for the Future dumbing down of America. I salute you!

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:

Gorbels Cube wrote: Fraulein,




Thank you for reorienting my mind-think.

Fraulein,

I'm Progressively humbled by your Progressive Humility. Now we need to work on how to counter the "ClimateGate" propaganda of the Right Wing Haters of Mother Earth in order to re-induce the younger generations to stop drifting away from The Truth of Anthropogenic Global Warming (AGW). We need to figure out how to persuade them to embrace ten years of darkness upon the audacious hope that in the 11th Year of Our Maximum Leader, we will re-emerge into The Light.

As you can see at the top of this post, I'm already burning candles arranged in the shape of a pentagram as a form of Atheistic Prayer to GAIA for Mother Earth to have Mercy on the Souls we don't have.

We need images, posters, slogans, etc. to use as our Collective Tools to accomplish this task. The ClimateGate propagandists are having a field day as a result of some of our scientists having accidentally admitted the untruth of AGW without first converting it to The Truth of AGW-- i.e., having admitted "cooling" they "can't explain" rather than expressing it as "warming that's easily explained." Instead of carelessly admitting "hiding the decline," they failed to correctly describe it as "revealing the rise."

They forgot, "war is peace" etc. It's obvious they need "reeducation" similar to what's illustrated in the commented posted by:<br> Shovel 4 U today in Czar-Czar's installment on a "New Direction".

Note-- in my enthusiasm to respond to your reply, I made a typographical error in the above text, which I have not corrected.

--Gorbels Cube

Dear Gorbels Cube ~ you have enlightened me on the momentous task facing our comrades and compatriots in the collective. If I can ever get finishing hoe (not to be confused with 'whoring') the gulag beets, I will try to confiscate locate barter for a vodka and ponder our dilemma. I figure about 4 5 6 vodkas should do the trick.

....and I continue to be Progressively humbled by your Progressive humility.

Comrade Gorbels Cube: states and cities are going bankrupt thanks to in spite of Obama's wonderful economic policies. The street lights will soon be put out due to lack of funds, and will likely be out for decades. Mission accomplished!

Opiate of the People wrote:Comrade Gorbels Cube: states and cities are going bankrupt thanks to in spite of Obama's wonderful economic policies. The street lights will soon be put out due to lack of funds, and will likely be out for decades. Mission accomplished!

Opiate of the People,

You of all comrades should know that we cannot permit the sweating masses to think Maximum Leader's policies played a role in putting out the lights-- Don't forget War is Peace, Ignorance is Knowledge. We must give them the opiate of believing that their own choice is why they have lights out. If they stop trying to turn them on, then when the power is no longer there because we no longer can afford energy, they'll think they don't have it by their own choice.

Don't forget to buy your night-vision goggles and opaque window covers for your house the next time you stop by to buy Carbon-Offset Credits. You'll need the opaque window covers so the sweating masses won't be led to your house like a moth to a flame and then storm your house. You'll need the night-vision goggles whenever you go outside at night.

Plus, all the profits I make from selling the Carbon-Credit indulgences (and goggles and window-covers) will always go to serve the Greater Good.

--Gorbels Cube

Wait, I'm confused comrades. I always thought Earth Day was the one day of the year when we could turn on our lights at night.

I blame my confusion on that Daylight Savings time change. Why not just extend DST to year round? Think how much energy we'd save then.

Obviously I'm in the dark about many things.

Comrade Whoopie wrote:Wait, I'm confused comrades. I always thought Earth Day was the one day of the year when we could turn on our lights at night.

I blame my confusion on that Daylight Savings time change. Why not just extend DST to year round? Think how much energy we'd save then.

Obviously I'm in the dark about many things.

Comrade Whoopie,

You are confused, but it's not your fault. The confusion has been caused by Right-Wing propagandists distorting the terms of "Earth Day," "Earth Hour" and "Earth Decade' the same way they've distorted the terms of "ObamaCare." (Here's a video example of Right-Wing Propaganda distorting what Obama has said about ObamaCare "repeatedly," "clearly" and "unambiguously"-- We know this because in explaining it, Obama prefaced his remarks with "I have always clearly and unambiguously said ...")

Back to Earth-Decade Lights-Out. The Right-Wingers (through Talk Radio and Fox News-- and especially Beck) have convinced the public that environmentally-conscious leaders within Obama's administration will permanently impose "lights out" on a year-round basis rather than merely during "Earth-Decade Lights-Out." I quote Obama: "I have always said that after the Earth-Decade Lights-Out" we will emerge into the New Light stronger and Greener than ever."

We know you only listen to right-wing media in order to "know what the enemy is doing," and since their propaganda is especially powerful, you can be forgiven for having fallen prey to it. I remind you that the most effective way to counter such effect is to always wear television earphones while you sleep while playing the full schedule of CNN and MSNBC that you recorded (or Tivo'ed) while you were monitoring Fox News. That way the Truth will subliminally enter your brain while you sleep. It's an effortless way for you to "keep up" with the Truth.

I hope my suggestions have been helpful, but I hasten to add that it would be appropriate penance for you to buy some Carbon-Credit Indulgences from my foundation for the greater good.

--Gorbels Cube.

Gorbels Cube wrote: I hope my suggestions have been helpful, but I hasten to add that it would be appropriate penance for you to buy some Carbon-Credit Indulgences from my foundation for the greater good.

--Gorbels Cube.

Most helpful esteemed comrade. You are correct, the current truth, Republican lies and distortions, it all gets so confusing. I tried wear headphones to bed but it was uncomfortable. Then I discovered that you can insert an earpiece rectally and now the good vibrations go right to my brain (via my progstate gland). I believe the progstate is the third eye spoken of by the ancients since it is so susceptible to progressive fisting. Truly the pathway to enlightenment.

Oh about those carbon credit indulgences. I'm a little short on cash this week. And since comrade Gore has so many I was thinking maybe he could spot me some until payday. You know, from each according to their abilities to each according to their need. (nervous chuckle)

Gorbels Cube wrote: You of all comrades should know that we cannot permit the sweating masses to think Maximum Leader's policies played a role in putting out the lights-- Don't forget War is Peace, Ignorance is Knowledge. We must give them the opiate of believing that their own choice is why they have lights out. If they stop trying to turn them on, then when the power is no longer there because we no longer can afford energy, they'll think they don't have it by their own choice.

Of course! Unemployment is environmentally sound! No job = no money = no lights = no electricity generation = no greenhouse gases! Destroying the economy is a stealth way to save the earth because everyone thinks their economic problems are the fault of greedy capitalists or cruel bosses or GEORGE BUSH!

I gotta tell ya, Obama really IS a genius. I'm going to sleep soundly tonight... well, I would, but I cannot afford heat. But I'm saving the earth!

Comrade Whoopie wrote: Most helpful esteemed comrade. You are correct, the current truth, Republican lies and distortions, it all gets so confusing. I tried wear headphones to bed but it was uncomfortable. Then I discovered that you can insert an earpiece rectally and now the good vibrations go right to my brain (via my progstate gland). I believe the progstate is the third eye spoken of by the ancients since it is so susceptible to progressive fisting. Truly the pathway to enlightenment.

Oh about those carbon credit indulgences. I'm a little short on cash this week. And since comrade Gore has so many I was thinking maybe he could spot me some until payday. You know, from each according to their abilities to each according to their need. (nervous chuckle)

Now I know why I had that weird earwax problem after lending you my earphones. Now that you've taught me their proper use, which now allows me to listen to Frank Zappa while sleeping and simultaneously rectally listening to CNN and MSNBC, I'm hereby giving you six months of Carbon-Credit Indulgences. But you can prove your worth as a caring member of the collective by giving some to Opiate of the People for heat so he won't be so cold at night.

Wait, I think it's better to listen to Zappa rectally because his most famous album was "Music for Half-Assed People." I remember well when he testified before the Senate to trash my wife for seeking lyric warnings on music-cd's containing "adult" language. Not wanting to offend my musical idol, I complimented him on his social consciousness rather than being petty enough to chastize him for trashing my wife. Tipper wasn't chipper, but at least I didn't alienate the entertainment industry that has proved so vital to promoting my Carbon-Credit Indulgences public-service company.

--Gorbels Cube

Opiate of the People wrote:

Of course! Unemployment is environmentally sound! No job = no money = no lights = no electricity generation = no greenhouse gases! Destroying the economy is a stealth way to save the earth because everyone thinks their economic problems are the fault of greedy capitalists or cruel bosses or GEORGE BUSH!

I gotta tell ya, Obama really IS a genius. I'm going to sleep soundly tonight... well, I would, but I cannot afford heat. But I'm saving the earth!

Lucky for you that your comment came to my attention just after Comrade Whoopie's awesome suggestion for listening to CNN or MSNBC rectally rather than aurally (thereby freeing me to simultaneously listen to Zappa via ear-phones), which promoted me to give him six months of Carbon-Credit Indulgences. I suggested to him that a socially conscious prog would share some of those credits with a fellow prog needing them to have heat at night.

If Comarade Whoopie were to prove insufficiently socially conscious, I'm sure I could persade GAIA Minister Neytiri to send a smokin' hot Navi to keep you warm at night.


--Gorbels' Cube.

That reminds of a joke:

"Dad, it's cold in here. Can't we turn up the heat?"

"No, Son, we can't."

"Aw, come on, Dad! I'm freezing! We haven't turned on the heat even once this winter! Can't we turn it on just this once?"

"No, Son, we can't."

"Why not?"

"I sold all of our carbon credits to Al Gore."