The People's Cube - Political Satire

Greetings from the Gulag!

Dear Comrades,

I have most distressing news (again). Some of our fellow Progs, having lost all hope of retaining their unattainable housing, have committed suicide before the Philadelphia teabagging sheriff's deputies could evict them out into the cold streets. This is, of course, Pres. Bushitler's fault! He didn't send enough money to these people so they could pay for homes, credit card debt, shopping sprees and they're weekly dinner at Mario's. And where's the investigation into the re-distributed Bushit monies, you might ask? No where, I say, because 'Bushie' didn't send them any! *gasp

Sweet fancy gulags. . . this kind of injustice can't be justified. Where are Fanny Mae and Freddie Mac with Bwarny Fwank checks? Is Rahm 'shower-boy' Emanuel overnighting FEMA cash to the stressed out Progs in Philly? I fear if this isn't hushed up halted, glorious Obamie will be blamed by Faux News . . . and you know I'm right.

This is Bushitlers fault and every crooked, twisted open-minded Prog, knows it.


Stop the abuse ~ re-distribute now!

Your gulag gal, Fraulein P

Could they not find a Greedy Health Insurance Executive to drag out back, shoot between the eyes, and claim his mansion for The Cause?

Put simply, this is a glorious example of Obama induced herd culling. If these serfs aren't strong enough to support the collective, they deserve to die. Cass Sunstein says so...

And I believe him
<br>And now, my customary nonsense...

Is suicide covered under ObamaCare?

Of course it is! There are many ways to accomplish this.

First one can move to Oregon, or another suicide approved state. Or, one can just wait a few years until 45% of all doctors retire who claim they are going to retire when ObamaCare kicks in, find yourself with a disease, get on a waiting list that's so long because of doctor shortage, that you die before you get to the doctor, or just stuff your face with government cheese until you keel over.

What?! We can't have these potential. . . never mind.

PRAISE OBAMA! NECROVOTERS! We have more glorious necro proxies for the collective! Even in Death, there is LIfe. Life for future Party projects of course! Better a necro vote, than one never cast at all, or one improperly cast.

Oh, to commit suicide for the state and for saving the planet, as well!

Comrade Elliott,

What were you getting at?

On another note: Are you re-education studies going well?

Leninka wrote:Of course it is! There are many ways to accomplish this.

First one can move to Oregon, or another suicide approved state. Or, one can just wait a few years until 45% of all doctors retire who claim they are going to retire when ObamaCare kicks in, find yourself with a disease, get on a waiting list that's so long because of doctor shortage, that you die before you get to the doctor, or just stuff your face with government cheese until you keel over.

Comrade Leninka ~ this is such a relief to by beet stained feet. I know Obooboocare will establish Death Panels, who will not so randomly dole out "premature retirement" for true blue comrades and subversives conservatives. I'm relieved to know that true comrades will still be able to step forward to take that last step without our dear government leaders dragging them by the hair.
Do I hear any volunteers?? Hello? Helllloooo?

Do I hear any volunteers?? Hello? Helllloooo?

Fraulein Pulloskies, if should be many of my country be redistributed within Gulag I can be of most certain there will be much volunteers for suicide cause.

Mrs Al Czarweary wrote:

Do I hear any volunteers?? Hello? Helllloooo?

Fraulein Pulloskies, if should be many of my country be redistributed within Gulag I can be of most certain there will be much volunteers for suicide cause.

Comrade Mrs Czarweary ~ this will be the revitalization of "hope" to great Leader and the collective in general. There's always 'room for one more' on an over populated planet. I can see the Green Czar (do you think he's figured out yet, what is job IS?) smile with anticipation.

Yes Comrades Al Czar Weary and Pulloskies,

There will be many ways to clean up and save the planet.

Mrs. Al Czar Weary,

What a flexible mind you have! Where on earth did this brilliant idea come from? And, surely Dear Leader would approve of your recommended suicide method. There really is such a desperate need for what you suggested since the Bush warmonger drove all of your relatives into caves. Comrade Obooboo is fixing all of this, unlike that Bush character who claimed that if you weren't "with us, you were with the terroristsfreedom fighters." What a foolish statement that was!

Leninka wrote:Oh, to commit suicide for the state and for saving the planet, as well!

Comrade Elliott,

What were you getting at?

On another note: Are you re-education studies going well?

The Colonel has the answer to my cut off statement. I was going to say "What?! We can't have these voters die on us! We need an emergency counsel surge into Pennsylvania." Then I realized, we could just put them on the necro proxy list and it wouldn't matter.

On the reeducation note, I'm learning so much! Yesterday we sat outside the local Planned Parenthood in support of Pro-Choice. We held pro-Obamacare rallies before it was passed by Congress, and we held a huge party yesterday in support of Obamacare being passed by Congress. Needless to say, I learned a valuable lesson at that party; just because an endless supply of Soma (beer) is provided, doesn't mean you should drink yourself dead. Poor Gerald, he will be missed.

(off)
My studies are going fine right now. It's not F.I.N.A.L.S. yet, so everything is coasting right now.

Speaking of Obamacare though, I've heard so many people voicing their hate of Obamacare on campus here, it's astounding! Of course there are some who are glad it has passed, but I lost count of those who don't support it after 10 (i.e. I can't count them on my fingers anymore).

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:

Careful sending this book out Fraulein, if this gets out, people will start lining up for Full Body Scans for ever and ever!

Then you'll have this guy to deal with.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Greetings from the Gulag!

Dear Comrades ~

I have most distressing news (again). Some of our fellow Progs, having lost all hope of retaining their unattainable housing, have committed suicide before the Philadelphia teabagging sheriff's deputies could evict them out into the cold streets. This is, of course, Pres. Bushitler's fault! He didn't send enough money to these people so they could pay for homes, credit card debt, shopping sprees and they're weekly dinner at Mario's. And where's the investigation into the re-distributed Bushit monies, you might ask? No where, I say, because 'Bushie' didn't send them any! *gasp

Sweet fancy gulags. . . this kind of injustice can't be justified. Where are Fanny Mae and Freddie Mac with Bwarny Fwank checks? Is Rahm 'shower-boy' Emanuel overnighting FEMA cash to the stressed out Progs in Philly? I fear if this isn't hushed up halted, glorious Obamie will be blamed by Faux News . . . and you know I'm right.

This is Bushitlers fault and every crooked, twisted open-minded Prog, knows it.


Stop the abuse ~ re-distribute now!

Your gulag gal, Fraulein P

My Dear,

While surely this is the fault of Booosh; billionaire insurance executives, eaters of meat and straight people, the tactic is one that the Party should grow comfortable with. We know what is best for the proles. If that much isn't obvious now it never will be.

I was reminded by this topic of a private conversation with a Party designate for mayor in Louisville, Kentucky I had a couple of months ago. The subject was Habitat for Humanity and how I was foolish for thinking this was a good organization when in actuality it puts poor people in houses that will never appreciate in value because of the neighborhoods they target. This is truly a vile form of oppression. I can't believe that I was stupid enough to donate countless hours and heaps of cash to such an evil cabal! When pressed his solution to these instruments of slavery was to raze the neighborhoods and relocate the people who live there.

I was considering addressing the fundamentals of pathetic education, destructive cultural norms and the addictive qualities and endless cycle of the welfare state before realizing that any of those remedies would require judgment. Judging behavior or culture = RACISIM!

I have now seen the light. Razing the neighborhoods and forcibly relocating is the much better option to lending a hand up with affordable housing for those willing to make a commitment, school vouchers, punishing poor life choices and rewarding responsible behavior in the population.

/off/

This conversation actually occurred with a democrat candidate and the only satire is in my reaction.

Dear Commiss Elliott ~ the book is solely provided through compassion and to benefit our Death Panels our government leaders. As I understand, needles will be provided free of charge (except to the taxpayers). The hope is to clear the rolls of the useless of the feeble and infirmed and spare them further agony. But I can't help but wonder how many of our comrades aren't able to read? But, maybe they didn't go to the public mandated schools.

Comrade INGSOC, I am begining to see your point, but regardless the Progs always win. We have the media on our side.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:Dear Commiss Elliott ~ the book is solely provided through compassion and to benefit our Death Panels our government leaders. As I understand, needles will be provided free of charge (except to the taxpayers). The hope is to clear the rolls of the useless of the feeble and infirmed and spare them further agony. But I can't help but wonder how many of our comrades aren't able to read? But, maybe they didn't go to the public mandated schools.

First off, I understand and fair enough. I was just concerned about lines and lines of the paranoid.

Second, I thought reading was outlawed because we didn't want people to be offended.

ummmm, you make an excellent point! Reading should be thrown in the corner, along with math, reading and learning the English language. oh, wait, hasn't it been?

This Post Most Glorious reminds me of a wonderfully witty little bumpersticker I saw at the local Wallyworld. As they say, brevity is the soul of wit, and I must say, it practically sparkled with logic and sound reasoning:

"BUCK FUSH"

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:ummmm, you make an excellent point! Reading should be thrown in the corner, along with math, reading and learning the English language. oh, wait, hasn't it been?

Last I checked.

Commissar_Elliott wrote:

Leninka wrote:Oh, to commit suicide for the state and for saving the planet, as well!

Comrade Elliott,

What were you getting at?

On another note: Are you re-education studies going well?

The Colonel has the answer to my cut off statement. I was going to say "What?! We can't have these voters die on us! We need an emergency counsel surge into Pennsylvania." Then I realized, we could just put them on the necro proxy list and it wouldn't matter.

On the reeducation note, I'm learning so much! Yesterday we sat outside the local Planned Parenthood in support of Pro-Choice. We held pro-Obamacare rallies before it was passed by Congress, and we held a huge party yesterday in support of Obamacare being passed by Congress. Needless to say, I learned a valuable lesson at that party; just because an endless supply of Soma (beer) is provided, doesn't mean you should drink yourself dead. Poor Gerald, he will be missed.

(off)
My studies are going fine right now. It's not F.I.N.A.L.S. yet, so everything is coasting right now.

Speaking of Obamacare though, I've heard so many people voicing their hate of Obamacare on campus here, it's astounding! Of course there are some who are glad it has passed, but I lost count of those who don't support it after 10 (i.e. I can't count them on my fingers anymore).

What!!! You are hearing complaints about ObamaCare? This cannot be. It looks as if there is something amiss at your re-education camp. There must be right-wing infiltrators for them to express such heretical views.

Comrades, in the interest of the nanny state I provide this list of things you must avoid at all cost.

The complete list of things that give you cancer (according to epidemiologists)

Acetaldehyde, acrylamide, acrylonitril, abortion, agent orange, alar, alcohol, air pollution, aldrin, alfatoxin, arsenic, arsine, asbestos, asphalt fumes, atrazine, AZT, baby food, barbequed meat, benzene, benzidine, benzopyrene, beryllium, beta-carotene, betel nuts, birth control pills, bottled water, bracken, bread, breasts, bus stations, calcium channel blockers, cadmium, captan, carbon black, carbon tetrachloride, careers for women, casual sex, car fumes, celery, charred foods, chewing gum, Chinese food, Chinese herbal supplements, chips, chloramphenicol, chlordane, chlorinated camphene, chlorinated water, chlorodiphenyl, chloroform, cholesterol, low cholesterol, chromium, coal tar, coffee, coke ovens, crackers, creosote, cyclamates, dairy products, deodorants, depleted uranium, depression, dichloryacetylene, DDT, dieldrin, diesel exhaust, diet soda, dimethyl sulphate, dinitrotouluene, dioxin, dioxane, epichlorhydrin, ethyle acrilate, ethylene, ethilene dibromide, ethnic beliefs,ethylene dichloride, Ex-Lax, fat, fluoridation, flying, formaldehyde, free radicals, french fries, fruit, gasoline, genes, gingerbread, global warming, gluteraldehyde, granite, grilled meat, Gulf war, hair dyes, hamburgers, heliobacter pylori, hepatitis B virus, hexachlorbutadiene, hexachlorethane, high bone mass, HPMA, HRT, hydrazine, hydrogen peroxide, incense, infertility, jewellery, Kepone, kissing, lack of exercise, laxatives, lead, left handedness, Lindane, Listerine, low fibre diet, magnetic fields, malonaldehyde, mammograms, manganese, marijuana, methyl bromide, methylene chloride, menopause, microwave ovens, milk hormones, mixed spices, mobile phones, MTBE, nickel, night lighting, night shifts, nitrates, not breast feeding, not having a twin, nuclear power plants, Nutrasweet, obesity, oestrogen, olestra, olive oil, orange juice, oxygenated gasoline, oyster sauce, ozone, ozone depletion, passive smoking, PCBs, peanuts, pesticides, pet birds, plastic IV bags, polio vaccine, potato crisps (chips), power lines, proteins, Prozac, PVC, radio masts, radon, railway sleepers, red meat, Roundup, saccharin, salt, selenium, semiconductor plants, shellfish, sick buildings, soy sauce, stress, strontium, styrene, sulphuric acid, sun beds, sunlight, sunscreen, talc, tetrachloroethylene, testosterone, tight bras, toast, toasters, tobacco, tooth fillings, toothpaste (with fluoride or bleach), train stations, trichloroethylene, under-arm shaving, unvented stoves, uranium, UV radiation, vegetables, vinyl bromide, vinyl chloride, vinyl fluoride, vinyl toys, vitamins, vitreous fibres, wallpaper, weedkiller (2-4 D), welding fumes, well water, weight gain, winter, wood dust, work, x-rays.

Notification of any major omissions are welcome (with references) to [email protected] .

Arsine? Isn't that the genus of the bears in those really horrible charmin bumfodder commercials?

Comrades, in the interest of the nanny state I provide this list of things you must avoid at all cost.

Where is PORK! Should not be PORK on list? PORK is haraam!

Comrade Whoopie wrote:....

Notification of any major omissions are welcome (with references) to [email protected] .

What a glorious educational list, Comrade Whoopie! (I think the only things left out were aspirin and xylophone, but who's counting) I hope glorious government officials will have warning labels on all these horrendously (not to be confused with whoreishly) dangerous products. I will certainly remove chloroform and dinitrotouluene from the products I use.

When they say "free radicals" I hope they weren't referring to the Collective. I've already given up casual sex and breasts.

Fraulein, if I were you I'd worry more about about tight bras.

Comrade Whoopie wrote: Fraulein, if I were you I'd worry more about about tight bras.

Oh gracious no. I gave that up long ago, much to contricting when picking beets. Free at last, free at last, than Comrade Playtexski, I'm free at last!

Leninka wrote: What!!! You are hearing complaints about ObamaCare? This cannot be. It looks as if there is something amiss at your re-education camp. There must be right-wing infiltrators for them to express such heretical views.

That's what I thought too, and first-guesses are right. I'll have to get a few of my lakies(sp?) to do some reconnaissance. I'll have further reports as this develops.

Lackey: A servant who holds your horse while you mount or dismount.

Excellent. Because as you know, as the re-education camps go, so goes the nation.

but the trend map isn't looking good, Leninka

This is terrible. What are we going to do? The Obamanation must not fail. We cannot fail. He is the one! He is the one who is going to implement our glorious system of government like it is supposed to be done. It can be done right where others have failed. Those in the Motherland just implemented it too quickly. If we don't make it on this try, why, it make be generations from now when history is revised enough by future historians to wipe out the truth before it can be tried again.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:but the trend map isn't looking good, Leninka

Silly "Pulloskies", you're just looking at it in the wrong way----

Dearest Czar Czar! Gloriousnesses! You are so right correct! I feel like such a failure . . . I must go back to Jiffy-Lobo immediate for more re-education and pay much more mind-numbed attention. I can't bear letting down the collective by not seeing things in their proper light! Please accept my humble apologies, dear comrades.