The People's Cube - Political Satire

Around the nation, a new activist group called Criminals for Gun Control (CGC) has loudly spoken "Ban Guns!" - and their cries are heard by the ACLU and academia alike. But who are they? You may also wonder why you should care.

With nine out of ten gun owners being the right wing extremists bent on destroying all life on earth, the dangers of firearms are obvious. Not only concerned parents and children today live under a constant fear of violent gun owners, but many individuals of a certain high-risk social status are getting increasingly injured and killed while trying to borrow money and property from homes, businesses, and retail stores.

In one such case, a man named Steven O'Hare took shots from a disgruntled homeowner while O'Hare was only trying to crawl through the homeowner's window at night while wearing pantyhose on his head.

Anti-gun advocate Senator Soles, who once shot an intruder in his own home, released this statement: "Social class victims are being harmed by hate-fueled fear instilled in people by the likes of Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, and Fox News. It is our duty to create a safe work environment for all those who are simply trying to put bread on their table. I myself have fallen to the stereotype that these people are somehow "dangerous" and have overreacted to an unannounced visit."

It is a proven statistic that 100% of people who commit "crimes," such as, breaking and entry or assault, are aggravated and taunted by wealthy people with expensive homes, cars, and clothing.

"They can't help but try to take what is rightfully theirs in the first place," stated an ACLU representative. "Their desperate situation created by the upper class, forces them to do what they do." No comment has been made by the opposing side as of yet.

Criminals for Gun Control Speak Out

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Richard Davidson: It's not easy in my line of work. There are lot of "job sites" I am scared to go to because of NRA stickers on the cars outside. It really can make life difficult for me. I have cocaine, hookers, and other things that I need to spend money on, and now I can't even afford your basic beer on my tiny welfare check. I need more opportunities out there. As long as people can just go and buy guns, I'm being deprived of my right to a chosen lifestyle.

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Barbara Witswerth: I don't like guns. People have no idea what it's like to lose sleep over worry of some guy with a Tea Party shirt and an assault rifle crawling in my kids' room at night through a window. Did you know that Abraham Lincoln was killed with a gun? All guns do is serve as a tool to destroy lives. Another problem with them is they cause war. If guns didn't exist, there would be no war and nothing left but peace and love. That's why I don't allow guns in my home.

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Joe "The Rapist" Kenjerski: I keep hearing that more and more women are getting concealed weapon permits. Pepper spray is the lesser of the two evils in my opinion. But as long as these concealed weapons are allowed on the street, it makes my hobby very risky.

I hear that in Canada handguns are illegal, period. I've been considering vacationing up there for eleven months of the year.

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Leroy Calvison: It's true that the more guns are out there in the hands of people, the harder it is to make money for me. People can't comprehend what it's like going into a situation not knowing for sure if I can get out of it okay or not. It is totally unacceptable that I have to risk getting hurt on the job.

{OFF}
Che'doh, you're cracking me up with these avatar changes. Good work!

{ON}
Comrades, it's a little known fact that first American gun control law, the Sullivan Act, in NYC was the result of complaints from criminal elements in the 'five points' district. Too many of their intended victims were carrying concealed firearms and as a result some of their friends were being shot. A city councilman from the district, Big Jim Sullivan, a pimp and saloon keeper, sponsored the legislation to repay the hoodlums who got him elected. This is a fine example of Social Justice in action.

<OFF> I like the shovel, but not sure Pinkie will be very impressed. Secondly, am I going color blind or what? I like the orangie Cheeto look! sigh :(

>ON<
My heart breaks for these dear people who live in such fear. Can you imagine, just peacefully entering someone's home and not knowing if you'd be shot? Attempting an "intimate moment" with a person of the opposite/same sex and fearful you might be shot?
This is just an outrage. We should contacts Sen. Kennedy for help on this dire matter... oh, oops, well, maybe someone else would do.

Fraulein Pulloskies wrote:<OFF> I like the shovel, but not sure Pinkie will be very impressed. Secondly, am I going color blind or what? I like the orangie Cheeto look! sigh :(

>ON<
My heart breaks for these dear people who live in such fear. Can you imagine, just peacefully entering someone's home and not knowing if you'd be shot? Attempting an "intimate moment" with a person of the opposite/same sex and fearful you might be shot?
This is just an outrage. We should contacts Sen. Kennedy for help on this dire matter... oh, oops, well, maybe someone else would do.

Comrade, I can not restore myself to my former glory until after I complete my stay here at The People's Resort and Spa ™ and have completed my reform and recovery. Once that is done to the satisfaction of my more equal peers, I will have the color Chedoh back.

What a lovely, progression you are making, little Cheeto... Chedoh. We hope to see your color fully restored within the next 20 - 25 years or about the time dear Leader will be retiring. Keep up the good struggle.

Chedoh, I have been of telling that you are to be slacking off working most good in Gulag. But I am not knowing if to be having Misha to be working in closeness behind you is of allowability. Not that Misha is of the complaining type. No. He is always of happyness to be of the supporting behinds of the peoples.


As for the controlling of the guns.... since my country peoples are to be of the underclass, are they to be for the keeping of their freedon fighting tools?

Mrs Al Czarweary wrote:Chedoh, I have been of telling that you are to be slacking off working most good in Gulag. But I am not knowing if to be having Misha to be working in closeness behind you is of allowability. Not that Misha is of the complaining type. No. He is always of happyness to be of the supporting behinds of the peoples.



As for the controlling of the guns.... since my country peoples are to be of the underclass, are they to be for the keeping of their freedom fighting tools?

The people of your country should learn to trust their government if it's anything like Barack's

But I apologize if I dropped the ball while shoveling in random places by taking a ten second brake, I promise it won't happen again!

Sorry I missed this excellent post when it was posted. But now I found and illustrated it.

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